State of the Blog

Hey guys.  I hope everyone had an enjoyable, Seacrest-free New Years.  I just wanted to pop in and apologize for the dead air the past few days (and to thank Keith for livening up the joint with his review of Waltz Time, which was the Hammer Time of its day), and to update everyone on current events.

Mary and I went up to Portland the day after Christmas to spend some time with my sister and her husband, my two very cool nieces, and, most importantly, their dog, Bailey.  I'd planned to blog while I was up there, but Bailey felt my laptop could be put to better use as an aluminum pillow.

Then I decided to borrow the car and go find a Starbucks where I might do some writing, since I hear the brand is finally making some tentative inroads into the Pacific Northwest, but you know how craftsy everyone is up there, and it turned out the roof of the car was busy hosting an installation of crystalline art...

...intended to evoke the feeling of Monsanto's "Adventure Thru Inner Space" ride at Disneyland, in which plucky tourists were shrunk to subatomic size and injected into a snowflake, to learn about physics and chemistry and why it's good to have just one strain of corporate-owned corn in the world, and how anybody who decorates their house with an ear of unauthorized speckled Indian maize at Thanksgiving is no better than a Somali pirate, and should be shot in the head by Navy SEALS.  (Sorry for the Captain Phillips spoilers.) Anyway, even if we don't yet have shrinking technology, with the exception of warm water for woolens, and cold water for scrotums, I'm impressed how Monsanto correctly predicted that in the Twittering and texting world of the Future, "Through" will become a four-letter word.

But we're back home now, as you can tell by the weird vegetation...

...and the penis-shaped landmarks...

Unfortunately, thanks to a combination of travel-induced sciatica pain and dog drool on my keyboard, I'm way behind on this cheap little animated movie script I was hired to write, which absolutely positively has to be completed by the last week of January, so I beg you to bear with me, as posting may be erratic over the next few weeks.

Okay, more erratic.  Don't rub it in.