Beat (Off) The Clock!
Finally, Abstinence Only sex education reaches its logical conclusion with this exciting new program!
You know, life is short, and masturbation is not the answer, especially when there’s a skeleton with a giant clock watching you wank, because, you know, talk about performance anxiety!
Just look around you, time is moving very fast without stopping ,
The clock is ticking are you listening to it?
Just look back when you were a child, was it far away in the distance past?
No, no it was almost like yesterday. Time is moving so fast that you can wake up and you will be 70 or 80 years old and without realizing it.Life is very short.
Finally, find the truth about Masturbation and what you can do to stop it.
Learn how to make the most of your life now!
While you’re whacking off, Vietnamese moppets in Ho Chi Minh City are making our sneakers, Indians in Mumbai are processing our credit card payments, and Romanian IT guys are taking our tech support calls. In today’s fast-paced, global economy, you just can’t afford to take the time to masturbate, unless you’ve got some efficient, reliable porn that allows you to successfully rub one out while your bagel is toasting.
But let’s not panic. Perhaps you’re not one of those sorry wretches in thrall to the Goddess of the Manual Arts, squandering the precious moments of your life in a squalid, squelching slick of bodily fluids and artificial lubricants. But you’d better take the quiz just to make sure (check all statements that apply…)
I want to know the real effect on my health of frequent masturbation. Is it “ok” or does it really destroy my health, as I feel it does. I want to find a scientific answer to this, and if it affects my health negatively I want to know how to overcome it.
Sounds like you need the kind of scientific answers that only an e-book sold exclusively through a poorly spelled website can provide!
I am masturbating
As we speak? Man, you have got it bad!
and I feel inside my self that it is wrong , however I can’t stop doing it. After I masturbate I feel guilty I want to overcome this habit.
Well, it might ease your guilt if you didn’t dress like a nun whenever you beat off.
I have been masturbating for many years now
Congratulations old timer. Here's your gold watch and your Wet Nap.
and I want to get rid of this habit. I tried many times to stop it, but always, after a few days, I come back to watch pornographic content on the Internet and in movies. I have a sincere desire to stop it.
It's a tragic story, like Ray Milland in Lost Weekend, except with German MILFs and Crisco.
I masturbate often while watching pornographic sites on the net.
Yep. Sounds like you’ve grasped the concept all right.
I spend much valuable time which prevents me from doing other important activities. I feel that it is time to overcome the habit of masturbation.
If setting aside sufficient time to accomplish your goals is the issue, may I suggest you read The 7 Habits of Highly Horny People?
I want to know if it is a “good” or “bad” thing to masturbate.
Depends how you’re doing it. If you’re chafing, it’s probably “bad.”
I want to know with a scientific rather than a dogmatic explanation.
Dude, you are so making me hot.
After masturbation I feel exhausted , like I have lost my strength. I understand that this is not a positive situation, and I want to do something to overcome it.
If you’re winded after jerking off, time management may not be your biggest problem.
After I masturbate I become aggressive to my partner and often this leads me to destructive and negative actions. I am the cause of this, since after masturbating I become more anxious and nervous.
That must be an interesting household…
“Hi baby, I’m home.”
“Wha–? Have you been masturbating?!”
“I…I don’t know what you–Augh!! Make the skeleton stop looking at me!!“
I see successful people and want to become like them. I understand that I spend most of my time in masturbation and that they don’t and I am willing to take action to overcome this habit once for all.
“To begin with, I’m going to widen my stance…”
I want to watch pornographic content on the Internet all the time although I don’t masturbate.
I’m just a connoisseur of ass pimples.
I know inside myself that this habit is not a positive one because it is taking the time that I could use to do something which is more fulfilling and constructive.
Like listening to music with my speakers off.
But is masturbation really a problem? Especially if your mom doesn’t catch you?
The Problem of Masturbation
We live in a new era, it is a mass media era. You know how easy it is to access a free pornographic site on the Internet and in other mass media like TV, DVDs, video and magazines.
Still, we waste less time than those poor Victorians who couldn’t find a copy of The Pearl and had to beat off to Punch.
And you also know how easy this kind of viewing leads to masturbation.
This is why I never even glance at the big screen TVs when I’m in Best Buy. You just never know.
In 99% of all cases, this leads to dependency. It is impossible to overcome it, no matter how hard you try. In less than a week’s time after deciding to stop, you may be in front of your computer browsing for pornography again and masturbating. It seems to be a trap that you can’t escape from. Masturbation affects a person’s life negatively in the following ways:
- Masturbation destroys your health
- You waste your valuable time on masturbation
Actually, as any reader of this blog will tell you, my time isn’t really all that valuable.
- Weakens your ability to make money (since you spend most of your valuable time watching pornographic content and then masturbating)
- Destroys your marriage or your relationship with your partner
- Makes you feel guilty after masturbation (inferiority complex)
“I’m a lousy masturbator. I couldn’t masturbate my way out of a damp grocery bag…!”
- Creates a negative psychology that can affect your business life
“I was going to sign the contract, Mr. Stevens, but I just can’t help thinking that at some point, you’ve been swabbing the knob.”
- Prevents you from making your life’s dream come true(since you spend most of your valuable time watching pornographic content and then masturbating)
“You’re complaining about masturbating 8 hours a day? Why, when I was a kid, I had to quit school in the fifth grade and start masturbating to help my family. I jerked off 14 hours a day, 6 days a week, and you think that was easy? We didn’t even have internet porn in my day! Why, all I had to work with was a brief glimpse of a dowager’s ankle as she stepped into a brougham!”
- Successful people are not addicted to the habit of masturbation simply because they spend their time doing what is important for them and their loved ones and not in masturbation. Are you willing to take the action and stop the habit of masturbation? orWill you allow this habit to destroy your life completely?Remember life is very short.How many times did you find yourself in a situation like this? When part of your self understood that this it is wrong to sit and spend hours of your unique valuable time browsing or watching pornographic films or websites, but at the same time you couldn’t do anything to avoid doing it?You feel and you know that it is not a good thing to do it, but still you are doing it.
And just remember that whenever you masturbate, somewhere there’s a skeleton with a huge Flava Flav clock timing you.
[Original comments below the fold]