tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post4925796983345457830..comments2024-03-05T19:50:31.497-08:00Comments on World O' Crap: Dr. Mike: French-Kissin' CousinScotthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02798340582589737829noreply@blogger.comBlogger30125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-52713949717207726992011-08-18T18:21:15.905-07:002011-08-18T18:21:15.905-07:00"I was the first kid on my block to own a Fli..."I was the first kid on my block to own a Flip Wilson record."<br /><br />He just said he owned it. Didn't say that he liked it or even listened to it. For all we know, he threw it on the nearest bonfire of Beatles records when John said they were more popular than Jesus. (Yeah, I know: four years too late. But you get my point.)billnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-60139045753242794412011-08-15T10:40:36.487-07:002011-08-15T10:40:36.487-07:00Last add long-dead left hand OT thread:
Doubt thi...Last add long-dead left hand OT thread:<br /><br />Doubt this guy's a left hander per se, but that is <a href="http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/motorsport/8700621/F1-fan-receives-bionic-hand-from-Mercedes-team.html" rel="nofollow">one awesome fucking left hand</a> he's got there. Isn't science wonderful?Chris Vosburgnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-442662436512696962011-08-14T17:59:29.188-07:002011-08-14T17:59:29.188-07:00Scott writes: I see what you did there...
[laugh...Scott writes: <i>I see what you did there... </i><br /><br />[laughing] Was hoping to set off a flurry of puns about my maladroit commentary, lack of dexterity, etc.Chris Vosburgnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-5722014788074405752011-08-14T15:19:22.855-07:002011-08-14T15:19:22.855-07:00Here's the thing: if there are any actual, rea...Here's the thing: if there are any actual, real brother/sister couples out there, and if they really actually wanted to get married...I would have no problem with that. It might give me the creeps, but whatevs. Not my family, not my issue.<br /><br />But there aren't any, or else we'd have heard of them. Just like there aren't scores of guys clamoring to marry their turtle or their gun. <br /><br />But there are scores of tax-paying American citizens who want to marry and are not legally allowed. And that's not only wrong, it's just un-American.<br /><br />So, yes, in conclusion: Dr. Mike is a major asshole.unclemikehttp://facebook.com/unclemike13noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-37824987854343601632011-08-14T05:28:36.461-07:002011-08-14T05:28:36.461-07:00WRT left handers day, I would like to offer the mi...WRT left handers day, I would like to offer the middle finger of my left hand in greeting to all the fucking republicans who have soiled my little college town in Ioway.<br /><br />I was so torn about the whole Straw Poll thing: does one vote for the least offensive retarded circus clown or the most amusing retarded circus clown?<br /><br />And I dare you to listen to Michelle of the Belles today and NOT feel that she's talking to you as if you were the retarded circus clown.heydavehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15509102502417886790noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-6240684691478998502011-08-13T23:02:37.073-07:002011-08-13T23:02:37.073-07:00Since this piece is satire, lets run part of if th...Since this piece is satire, lets run part of if through the Satirical-Reverse-O-Matic®, and see what comes out...<br /><br /><b>*chug chug chug clink clink grind grind grind BING!*</b><br /><br />Ah ha! "I have had no exposure to any other ideas, cultures, or lifestyles, but I still have negative opinions about them. I’m a bigot, but I don't want to be called out on it. In fact, I was the first kid on my block to call a kid who owned a Flip Wilson record a 'n****r lover.'"<br /><br />Hey! It worked!Brian Schlosserhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03661141625930661327noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-34936582249948812552011-08-13T16:47:00.328-07:002011-08-13T16:47:00.328-07:00As to Dr Mike, if his sister actually wants to mar...<i>As to Dr Mike, if his sister actually wants to marry him, I'm willing to at the very least sign a petition demanding someone allow it. It's not going to be at the top of my marriage equality efforts, but what the fuck.</i><br /><br />I've only been married once and in one state, and over 25 years ago, so my memory's a little lax, but I don't remember as how I had to show any kind of proof that my intended wasn't in fact my sibling. I don't think we presented our birth certificates, although I could be wrong. <br /><br />So it kind makes me think that there is no actual working prohibition against incestuous marriage?<br /><br />But if there is, I'm pretty sure that it would also apply for gay marriage. Now, if Dr. Mike wanted to marry his BROTHER that would be another story.Glennishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03681336164718681936noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-67831315937270835742011-08-13T16:09:46.682-07:002011-08-13T16:09:46.682-07:00Boy, Dr. Mike really inspires you-all. For my 2 ce...Boy, Dr. Mike really inspires you-all. For my 2 cents, Penh gets the gold star, if only because I was so blinded by Dr. M's wardrobe-plus-pissy expression, spiced by Scott's great caption, that I didn't notice the cable coming out of, or going into, his nose, OR the mystery man in the background. <br /><br />The latter may be Dr. Mike's miniature twin, Dr. Mite, during his afternoon break from living in his larger brother's chest cavity. It is interesting that he seems to have similar taste in casual-professional wear. Doubtless Dr. Mike's longing for sibling marriage would have never have developed to this degree if only his internal partner had been a girl. Of if both he and little Mite were gay, of course. Poor guy. Reduced to writing pretend-ironic letters to Andrew Cuomo.Li'l Innocenthttp://ladysmantle.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-87289323668537670602011-08-13T15:00:21.975-07:002011-08-13T15:00:21.975-07:00I can understand why Dr Mike would want to marry h...I can understand why Dr Mike would want to marry his sister. She's great in bed. Ask anyone.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-87497952151614063762011-08-13T14:49:35.870-07:002011-08-13T14:49:35.870-07:00I bet he's lying about the Flip Wilson record,...I bet he's lying about the Flip Wilson record, too; Dr Mike seems like more like a Johnny Rebel fan.Lancelot Linkhttp://agonyshorthand.blogspot.com/2004/08/johnny-rebel-for-segregationists-only.htmlnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-83327203702640660622011-08-13T10:41:20.363-07:002011-08-13T10:41:20.363-07:00even gauche.
I see what you did there...<i>even gauche.</i><br /><br />I see what you did there...Scotthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02798340582589737829noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-11249380119641533782011-08-13T10:33:09.771-07:002011-08-13T10:33:09.771-07:00Speaking of cultural taboos, I invite you all to c...Speaking of cultural taboos, I invite you all to celebrate with me a holiday that some find a bit sinister-- even gauche.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/7942818/International-Left-Handers-Day-celebrated-around-the-world.html" rel="nofollow">International Left Handers Day</a>.<br /><br />From the linked article:<br /><br /><i>In India, for example, the left hand is taboo for eating, and some in some Muslim countries the hand used to deal with anything dirty.</i><br /><br />[sigh] Fine, be that way.Chris Vosburgnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-41372156222375714822011-08-13T10:19:18.998-07:002011-08-13T10:19:18.998-07:00Mike Adams writes: I’m no bigot. In fact, I was th...Mike Adams writes: <i>I’m no bigot. In fact, I was the first kid on my block to own a Flip Wilson record.</i><br /><br />Wow! Betcha he's even been to a basketball game.<br /><br />Seriously, I'm reminded that Heinlein wrote often of incest and various forms of free expression of love and sex in his novels, almost as often as Dr Mike writes of homosexuality, though with a different take.<br /><br />He was almost obsessive about it, and it was more to sort of stick a pin in the various cultural taboos than anything else-- he wanted folks to question the thinking that put them into place.<br /><br />So with the advent of time travel and other sci-fi gimmickry, Lazarus Long falls in love with and bonks his mother, twins marry, a man fathers himself and his sister, and an artificial intelligence named Minerva falls in love with Howard Family Head Honcho Ira Weatheral, her human boss. Alas, I don't think they ever, uh, hooked it up, but, then again, I stopped reading Heinlein back in the seventies, so probably they did eventually. Everybody screws everybody else at some point in the Heinleinian universe!<br /><br />So Dr Mike's covering some pretty well-worn ground here. But Heinlein's deal was pretty much that anything that doesn't scare the horses is okay.Chris Vosburgnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-83773345972987164492011-08-13T08:28:29.969-07:002011-08-13T08:28:29.969-07:00In fact, I may have already married an imaginary p...In fact, I may have already married an imaginary person. Who can tell? all we know for sure is that she isn't inclined to help out much with the housework.heydavehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15509102502417886790noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-64294176569515181882011-08-12T20:46:37.125-07:002011-08-12T20:46:37.125-07:00The Ruger mini-14 assault rifle knows it can do be...The Ruger mini-14 assault rifle knows it can do better, and is merely toying with his affections. If Mike signed up for a compatibility dating service, he'd discover that the best match for his personality and intellect was a bag of hammers, preferably ball peens. Any worries that such a union might constitute polygamy could be easily assuaged by the knowledge that he'd actually be marrying the bag, and the actual number of partners contained within was on a need to know basis between he and his physician.<br /><br />bidzilibaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-73527521971107765632011-08-12T16:33:08.796-07:002011-08-12T16:33:08.796-07:00Falwell sued Flynt for libel and emotional distres...Falwell sued Flynt for libel and emotional distress, for saying Falwell had lost his virginity to his grandmother in an outhouse. Adams picks up that label of shame off the ground, dusts it off, and wears it as a badge of honor. <br /><br />I don't know about half-sibs marrying, but I sure don't like irony divorced from wit.trashfirenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-13601822252187156372011-08-12T15:30:30.055-07:002011-08-12T15:30:30.055-07:00heheheh Totally... 'Hey Everybody I'm so N...heheheh Totally... 'Hey Everybody I'm so NOT gay; we hates 'em, right?! Now check out my cool gun...'Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-21803769766659881202011-08-12T15:30:19.533-07:002011-08-12T15:30:19.533-07:00The Penthouse line was good, but it was the captio...The Penthouse line was good, but it was the caption that made me spit-take. <br /><br />And, having gone away and thought about it, I am now absolutely in support of Dr Mike's right to marry an imaginary friend, if only because hopefully it takes him out of the gene pool, and beggars can't be choosers and all that. At first I was all, Well what if she doesn't really consent, all we have is his word for it because she's imaginary. But then I thought, You know, this is a guy who--and I know I have made this point before but what the hell--undoubtedly has the decapitated heads of RealDolls buried in his backyard, and while neither can consent and therefore I would normally object to them being married (though if he wants to fuck either, I have no qualms since neither can suffer, either, it'd be different if he wanted to fuck a wombat or something), I think letting him marry and practice headship on his imaginary friend is at least more environmentally friendly, so I think she's going to have to take one for the team.D. Sidhenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-77181034140196608702011-08-12T11:57:33.821-07:002011-08-12T11:57:33.821-07:00but what if she wanted to bring a hot guy...?
Wel...<i>but what if she wanted to bring a hot <b>guy</b>...?</i><br /><br />Well, Imaginary Sister knows Dr. Mike better than any of his other girlfriends, since she lives inside his head, so if she thinks he needs a stern Daddy to take him in hand, she's probably right. Especially since Dr. Mike <i>already</i> seems to think, talk, and write more about gay sex than anybody this side of Dan Savage.Scotthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02798340582589737829noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-83072219401824715042011-08-12T11:45:24.051-07:002011-08-12T11:45:24.051-07:00Why are incest and polygamy illegal? As long as t...Why are incest and polygamy illegal? As long as they're all happy, who cares?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-4273239110805966732011-08-12T11:37:59.717-07:002011-08-12T11:37:59.717-07:00Dr. Mike wouldn't object to his Sis bringing a...Dr. Mike wouldn't object to his Sis bringing a totally hot babe (not baby) into their marriage, but what if she wanted to bring a hot <i>guy...?</i>Kathyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03176801494652946278noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-59557538305493505142011-08-12T10:28:47.383-07:002011-08-12T10:28:47.383-07:00Dr. Mike began this column as a devastating satiri...<i>Dr. Mike began this column as a devastating satirical attack on liberal hypocrisy, but his mind wandered, and at some point it became a letter to Penthouse Forum.</i><br /><br />Hee.<br /><br />He does raise an interesting question though; should gays be legally barred from marrying a close relative? Presumably the reasoning for those restrictions is to prevent problems in the offspring, and since gays aren't going to get pregnant without a whole lot of extra effort, that whole problem flies out the window. Hmmm.<br /><br /><i>The funny thing I have discovered about being bisexual and non-monogamous is, they're not linked traits. There are lots of monogamous bisexuals out there, and there are lots of non-monogamous straights and gays</i><br /><br />A monogamous bisexual (aka a lesbian) says, "Hear, hear!"StickIthttp://stickitblog.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-90292024521934165332011-08-12T09:18:20.266-07:002011-08-12T09:18:20.266-07:00Also, okay. I can't let the bisexual means you...Also, okay. I can't let the bisexual means you will fuck EVERYONE thing pass. My mom used to do this, before applying the You Are What You Eat argument to decide I'm not actually bi. "Well, I just don't think bisexuality is healthy because sleeping with everyone is a good way to get diseases."<br /><br />Who the fuck said I wanted to sleep with EVERYONE? My mother assures me that she doesn't want to sleep with every man, despite being hetero, much less does she sleep with every man she comes across. Apparently bisexual people can't stop themselves from fucking everyone whose gender they are attracted to, regardless of whether they are attracted to that gender's specific person.<br /><br />Now, I realize I'm not the person to be making this point, which is why I hesitate. But my partner and I are both bisexual and both non-monogamous, and so an open relationship makes sense, but that's still a long way from fucking anybody of any gender. What it has translated into is long term thirds, mostly, and not many of those.<br /><br />The funny thing I have discovered about being bisexual and non-monogamous is, they're not linked traits. There are lots of monogamous bisexuals out there, and there are lots of non-monogamous straights and gays out there, and mixing and matching can be enough of a disaster that my partner and I are very lucky to be both since we wanted to be together. I suspect we wouldn't have twenty years together if we weren't.<br /><br />So there's no reason to assume that anyone's bisexual imaginary sister is also non-monogamous, except that Dr Mike thinks it makes it funnier. Because, frankly, he really doesn't know jack shit about people. Go figure...D. Sidhenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-2197524090621937392011-08-12T09:05:15.443-07:002011-08-12T09:05:15.443-07:00Your paraphrase makes me sound a lot more clever t...Your paraphrase makes me sound a lot more clever than I am, so thank you for that.<br /><br />As to Dr Mike, if his sister actually wants to marry him, I'm willing to at the very least sign a petition demanding someone allow it. It's not going to be at the top of my marriage equality efforts, but what the fuck. Consent is my bright line, and depending on their ages there's at least a chance that there's no terrible power imbalance that would lead to coerced consent. Sister and brother, depending on ages, is more likely to produce true consent than, say, father and daughter, or employer and employee, or religious leader and congregant, or professor and student.<br /><br />While I *do* think genetic testing might be a good idea if they intend to have kids, I think it's a good idea for every couple intending to have kids. There are couples out there that phenotypically should have nothing in common but share a family history of, say, schizophrenia. So, not a draw-a-line-in-the-sand qualifier for me, especially in a case like this, where Dr Mike is clearly legion-of-bats-in-a-very-small-belfry crazy enough on his own that *anyone* else's genetic contribution can't possibly be a bad thing. <br /><br />Now, I expect Dr Mike to get his ass out there and fight hard for the right of gays to marry. Oh, wait, he was just being an asshole and hoping no one would call him on it? Say it isn't so, Dr Mike!D. Sidhenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-13431962743183122452011-08-12T06:50:04.593-07:002011-08-12T06:50:04.593-07:00Notice, of course, he mentions nothing about wheth...Notice, of course, he mentions nothing about whether "Jennifer" is interested in marrying HIM. <br /><br />I mean, when you can't even get consent from your imaginary sister, you're really a loser.David Ezerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13718513953323430990noreply@blogger.com