tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post7480365214830758359..comments2024-03-05T19:50:31.497-08:00Comments on World O' Crap: Sundays With S.Z.: Turn Your Crank to Swank!Scotthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02798340582589737829noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-88298435299150574952013-08-14T13:02:12.858-07:002013-08-14T13:02:12.858-07:00(Continuation of said truncation...)
3. Few idio...(Continuation of said truncation...)<br /><br />3. Few idiots have given us as much amusement, horrified alarm, or flat-out bankable STOOPIDITY as The Swankster, and far as I know, NOBODY can compare to the much-needed humbling evisceration that he has been given, time and again, flawlessly every stroke, by S.Z. & Scott. This piece, of course, being a PRIME example.<br /><br /><i>"Illegals mount higher."</i><br /><br /><b>Maybe it’s just because I’ve been focused on the dogs this week, but to me the Pastor’s last line conjures up some interesting imagery.</b><br /><br />Not only THAT, darlin', it doesn't even qualify as a SENTENCE!!! It's a fucking sentence FRAGMENT that GOES NOWHERE, since "Illegals"/illegal and/or undocumented immigrants to the more-civilized folk, were they given to "MOUNTING" anything, could not and would not <i><b>"mount HIGHER"!!!!!!</b></i> They could mount a horse, mount a deer head, or mount their fellow consenting adults, but if Teh Swankster is trying to say that the numbers of illegal immigrants are growing exponentially, he shoulda JUST SAID <i><b>THAT!!!</b></i> 'Cause THIS idiotic fragment of a hanging-on-by-a-hair-in-the-digestive-tract SHIT <i><b>does NOT get him there!!!</b></i> I'm hardly in possession of the flawless memory/brain quantity to remember ALL of the multiple reasons that this is an abomination to the English language, but that OUGHTA be enough, n'est-ce pas? <br /><b>ALSO, thanks to S.Z.,</b> I now have visions of un-altered dogs trying to hump everything in sight, including legs, stuffed animals, purses, furniture, cats, you name it. One of the coolest dogs I ever knew, Tori, <i>(thankfully, NO, not named after Aaron Spelling's BIGGEST flop!)</i>, unfortunately, b/c his "dad" had that pathetically-common fixation on his dog's genitalia as an extension of his own "virility," never DID get fixed, and wound-up dying of PROSTATE CANCER, something that I try to explain to my more-ignorant neighbors who flat-out REFUSE to neuter THEIR dogs and let 'em run loose in the neighborhood, impregnating everything with a hole. Why do some men equate their DOGS' testicles with THEIR OWN?!?!!? Makes no fucking sense to me, but then, neither do most males. Present company, for the majority, severely excepted, of course.<br /><br />Thanks for doing these, Scott. Mebbe it'll finally nudge S.Z. towards coming back to us on a semi-regular basis!Anntichrist S. Coulterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06415084181464098543noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-10496349335395819452013-08-14T13:01:02.362-07:002013-08-14T13:01:02.362-07:001. If Canada is "Hell's Eyebrow" an...1. If Canada is <i>"Hell's Eyebrow"</i> and Mexico is <i>"Hell's Kneecap,"</i> <b>then that confirms every time that I've described Louisiana and/or New Orleans as <i>"Satan's Jockstrap"!!!</i></b> Also, Teh Swankster's use of <i><b>"hell's lip"</b></i> pretty much tells us how long it's been since he's seen ANY lips, and I do NOT mean the silicone-injected FACIAL lips of his favorite porn queens, honey. <i><b>I mean the lips that he was probably raised to fear like the very fangs of death itself </b></i>--- y'all ever notice that raised-hardline-cathlick boys and bibul-bangin' misogynist protestant freaks are TERRIFIED OF CUNNILINGUS?!?!!?! Their mamas and/or them putting-kids-to-kneeling-on-rice, ruler-beating NUNS surely left some HELLACIOUS fucking scars on their teeny-tiny brains, and I do mean BOTH OF 'EM. Another reason that I've always preferred atheists & other kinds of free-thinkers --- they ain't 'fraid of NOTHIN'!!! And frankly, I still maintain that Teh Swankster is a miserably-closeted homosexual, the very "type" of person whom he <i>claims</i> to LOATHE DOWN TO HIS RANCID BONE MARROW. To whit, going back to his "lip of hell" bit: <i><b>"Certainly anyone in his right mind and clean heart would not want to live one day in that climate." --- !!!</b></i> If THAT'S not a tragic fear of teh pussy, I don't know what is! Actually, it's more than fear, it's a beyond-misogyny HATRED of the vagina that generally leads to characters like TED BUNDY. I wonder if Teh Swankster ever ministered to THAT particular sociopath <i>(having so very much IN COMMON!)</i> on death row...<br /><br />2. Oh, this brings me back, and reminds me of how very much that I have truly and severely missed S.Z.'s brilliant writing, snark et al.!!! With a sermon like this one, she puts <i>"Julia Sugarbaker"</i>, aka the female "Terminator" <i><b>*TO SHAME!!!!!!*</b></i> One of my all-time favorite S.Z. quotes is featured here:<br /><br /><i>{Swankster's idiotic blathering:} "Dems are anti-God, anti-family, anti-morality, anti-Judeo-Christian heritage, anti-unborn children, anti-decency, anti-reason. They are, in short, basically demonic."</i><br /><br /><b>Yes, we are. <i>And when we win back the Senate and the House, we are going to have wild orgies in the Capitol, and we won’t invite you.</i> We are also going to eat your babies, marry your sons (unless we are female, in which case we will marry your daughters and/or box turtles), and force you to listen to that HeadOn commercial nonstop for hours. <i>That’s just how evil we are.</i></b><br /><br />(Truncated by Blogger's character limit...)Anntichrist S. Coulterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06415084181464098543noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-69725809755900837162013-08-11T11:31:16.845-07:002013-08-11T11:31:16.845-07:00Nothing makes my Sunday morning than a pot of fres...Nothing makes my Sunday morning than a pot of fresh-ground Italian roast, a spliff --- and Pastor Swank.<br /><br />And to second the above comment, what the hell did happen to the Good Pastor? Did he venture too close to Hell's lips only to become emulsified in an embalming solution based on Revlon's newest shade?<br /><br />Also, are Hell's lips somehow attached to the "Pit"?<br /><br />Carnival Cruise to Bermuda Triangle? Alien abduction?<br /><br />Peace,<br />Keith<br />Keithnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-85718500327951852052013-08-11T09:11:46.111-07:002013-08-11T09:11:46.111-07:00Whatever happened to Pastor Swank, anywho?
~Whatever happened to Pastor Swank, anywho?<br />~ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®©https://www.blogger.com/profile/06252371815131259831noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-75233465608461522042013-08-11T08:27:44.022-07:002013-08-11T08:27:44.022-07:00Seriously, I don’t know where the Pastor would be ...<i>Seriously, I don’t know where the Pastor would be happy — anybody have any ideas?</i><br /><br />Commanding the <a href="http://talkingpointsmemo.com/news/religious-az-abandons-has-to-get-rescued-at-sea.php" rel="nofollow">Gastonguay Expedition</a>, perhaps.Chris Vosburgnoreply@blogger.com