tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post7649046518893875071..comments2024-03-05T19:50:31.497-08:00Comments on World O' Crap: The Devil And The DVDScotthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02798340582589737829noreply@blogger.comBlogger39125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-8560787919588469382011-02-02T02:33:08.741-08:002011-02-02T02:33:08.741-08:00Hey, hey, hold up there, sister. If Chris is up fo...Hey, hey, hold up there, sister. If Chris is up for grabs, I'd like to put an offer in too.<br /><br />I run an Internet cafe and office services joint in rural SAfrica and I NEED a tech support guy more than you do, me being an old Luddite and all.<br />The fact that I could also use Chris (drool) around here is just frosting on the cake. It's beautiful where I live, Chris, and your inner humanitarian would be truly contented.There's no money to be made of course but I know you are above material considerations, right?<br />SuezbooAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-56678467138941703062011-02-01T17:46:21.985-08:002011-02-01T17:46:21.985-08:00Well, Chris, you're totally cool and sweet. Le...Well, Chris, you're totally cool and sweet. Let us fly, fly to the Isles of Spice and Liberalism! You can offer tech support to the local folk, and I'll do portraits of their dogs and children down on the beach. Hooray!Li'l Innocenthttp://ladysmantle.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-28465258443660275852011-01-31T21:39:51.280-08:002011-01-31T21:39:51.280-08:00Last add Sherlock's Instruction:
"I shal...Last add Sherlock's Instruction:<br /><br />"I shall always remember her as the woman."<br /><br />We poke a lot of fun at Conan Doyle's constantly changing rules for the Holmes psyche, and this is one that encourages the belief that Holmes thinks more or less like the rest of us-- unable to forget the stuff he'd like to let go of, probably the sunlight soap jingle he heard, or the pain of the rejection of the woman he once knew.<br /><br />Conan Doyle was wrong-- it's not a storage space, it's a source of constant change and interpretation of the world around us-- see Sherlock's trifling monograph on...<br /><br />...whatever the hell he was puzzling over.Chris Vosburgnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-27523657174985821962011-01-31T20:44:21.646-08:002011-01-31T20:44:21.646-08:00Also, Chris, you sound like you may be the Ideal M...<i>Also, Chris, you sound like you may be the Ideal Man of my tremulous dreams! </i><br /><br />I'm not too old to blush, and my heart is yours.<br /><br />Thanks, darlin.Chris Vosburgnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-36764860519496311062011-01-31T10:53:43.103-08:002011-01-31T10:53:43.103-08:00"God, can you help me? I know that there are ...<i>"God, can you help me? I know that there are starving humans on the Earth who need your help far more than I do. And you have those who have just passed through death's door. They are there at the judgment seat of Christ tended to for their eternities. However, can you please show me the solution to this problem, that is, if it is your divine will to be so kind?"<br /></i><br />"OPEN A BOOK, DOOFUS."<br /><br />I think The Pastor's cord has come out as well, and the Time Warner Tech person will also be unable to help with that.zombie rotten mcdonaldhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10601960953323752278noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-12617686300056275162011-01-30T17:20:53.859-08:002011-01-30T17:20:53.859-08:00Chris V., I'm with you on the young picker-upp...Chris V., I'm with you on the young picker-upper vs. old farts thing, though I tend to attribute it to the same effect that Sherlock Holmes noted when he compared the human brain to a lumber(storage)room of fixed dimensions. Forty, fifty years of observant living and learning will fill it to the point where stuffing more stuff in takes longer. You have to re-arrange the piles, put in more shelving, label new cartons -- all that stuff.<br /><br />Also, Chris, you sound like you may be the Ideal Man of my tremulous dreams! Should you be harboring an unrequited passion for elderly female cartoonists who are willing to shovel their own snow, within reason, let me know. It could be great!Li'l Innocenthttp://ladysmantle.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-76176909666356976622011-01-30T15:34:24.726-08:002011-01-30T15:34:24.726-08:00We have a place in Maine, where we're from, bu...We have a place in Maine, where we're from, but haven't been able to spend much time there the last couple of years. The idea that Swank is there and I might run into him at the bottle depository, the auto parts store or the dump makes me look forward to going back. Can you imagine how that would make one's week?guitarist manquénoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-70765194951292130202011-01-30T10:52:43.517-08:002011-01-30T10:52:43.517-08:00I clicked the link, because that column is bizarre...I clicked the link, because that column is bizarre even for Pastor Swank. Wow.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-26231397594685907302011-01-30T10:17:55.946-08:002011-01-30T10:17:55.946-08:00I'll probably get slammed for this, but a part...I'll probably get slammed for this, but a part of me was pleased at the vision of a phone rep, quite possibly in India, attempting to decipher the incoherent Pastor Swank.Nom de Plumenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-88516496156537457942011-01-30T07:27:02.135-08:002011-01-30T07:27:02.135-08:00"Why he no listen?"
He no so smart like ..."Why he no listen?"<br />He no so smart like you is.Bill Snoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-41611069281250352622011-01-29T10:05:39.899-08:002011-01-29T10:05:39.899-08:00Murfyn, I'm going to show your comment to my B...Murfyn, I'm going to show your comment to my Boss, who has a hundred cables under his desk, about a dozen of which are actually connected to anything. <br /><br />I try to tell him that it simplifies troubleshooting to remove cables that are not used, but nothing doing. Don't get me started about the fifteen thousand programs he's loaded into Windows and decided he doesn't need but never removed.<br /><br />Why he no listen?Chris Vosburgnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-45447161424550336352011-01-29T09:48:05.401-08:002011-01-29T09:48:05.401-08:00Troubleshooting. God help me, I love it. My best...Troubleshooting. God help me, I love it. My best goof was trying to connect the MP3 player to the tower with the USB connector. It wouldn't work and wouldn't work . . . I had two USB cords, one plugged into the tower, the other into the player.Murfynhttp://ifindaudio.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-55347192018080509192011-01-29T08:24:39.173-08:002011-01-29T08:24:39.173-08:00Jay B writes: And the mystically unplugged chord r...Jay B writes: <i>And the mystically unplugged chord represents faith.</i><br /><br />The Lost Chord.Chris Vosburgnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-88043817799074800512011-01-29T08:09:13.499-08:002011-01-29T08:09:13.499-08:00Anonymous writes: my VCR player has started eatin...Anonymous writes: <i> my VCR player has started eating tapes. To whom should I direct my prayers and technical service calls?</i><br /><br />To World o' Crap, silly. <br /><br />Typically the problem you describe is the result of either or both of the tape reels in the cassette failing to draw the tape into the cassette correctly, which usually means that the VCR's reel drivers aren't doing what they should, and this is usually because of a faulty idler wheel. The idler wheel swings back and forth between the two reel drivers, depending on whether forward or rewind.<br /><br />If the idler wheel is rubber type (older VCRs), typically cleaning is all that is needed, use alcohol on a Q-tip to clean the rubber surface and the reel driver surfaces it comes in contact with. If gear type (newer VCRs), lubrication of the gear bearing is probably indicated (it may not swing as freely as it should).<br /><br />Sadly, it'd be simpler to just junk it and buy a new VCR. I'm reminded that in the Andy Griffith show of the fifties, a guy named Emmett ran a repair shop, and was frequently found to be repairing items as simple as toasters-- inconceivable today.Chris Vosburgnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-32841681051198817452011-01-29T07:33:16.236-08:002011-01-29T07:33:16.236-08:00Briggs & Stratton writes: And I don't know...Briggs & Stratton writes: <i>And I don't know what's worse: slagging off the woman on the phone because you're too stupid to understand her, or perpetrating the horseshit about how fifteen-year-olds have an innate knowledge of gadgetry which baffles every adult. </i><br /><br />Riley, next you'll be shaking your fist at clouds. Kids are the quicker picker uppers; it's simple fact that they acquire knowledge and new concepts more handily than us old farts.Chris Vosburgnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-7833901867279579262011-01-29T07:23:40.667-08:002011-01-29T07:23:40.667-08:00KWillow writes: The unplugged cable probably was o...KWillow writes: <i>The unplugged cable probably was one of the 6-to-10 cords leading to & from the DVD player to/from the TV & other contraptions</i><br /><br />Trust me, TV power cord, read the clues. Service rep response should have been an inquiry about the TV itself-- usually there's a little light on the front that indicates whether it's on or not, and notice I didn't say LED or Power Indicator Lamp (that's jargon).<br /><br />Other questions should have been along the lines of "are you seeing anything at all on the screen, even if it's only a text message like 'no input' or something else". I'm gonna cut Swank some slack and say bad service rep-- good service reps are born, not made, etc.<br /><br />K, I used to repair computers out of my home in the eighties and fielded a lot of calls from folks with problems that defied all understanding, and slowly evolved a method of dealing with them that I like to think has enhanced my understanding of the human condition as no college course in Anthropology or Human Behavior ever could.<br /><br />Now I am Chief of Engineering for a company that rents video and computer equipment to folks who make movies and TV shows, and field the same sort of calls from video operators on set who are paid a princely sum to hit the play button at the right moment, and I wanna tell you, despite their pro status, they suffer from Swank's dilemma as well. And because time on set is measured in millions of dollars, they are hip deep in flop sweat, so half the battle is to get their mind to stop racing like Swank's clearly was, although his need was to watch the DVD Newt sent him announcing his PAC fundraising drive or whatever.<br /><br />That said, I am by no means exempt from the occasional forehead-slapping realization that the damn thing wasn't plugged in.Chris Vosburgnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-37178204522148108192011-01-29T06:26:36.834-08:002011-01-29T06:26:36.834-08:00I'm shocked that the Pastor gives his business...I'm shocked that the Pastor gives his business to an anti-Christian corporation that makes employees work on THE LORD'S DAY OF REST.<br /><br />Srsly, what's up with that?karen marienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-7578092497937762772011-01-29T05:22:51.335-08:002011-01-29T05:22:51.335-08:00That was my first vision - every electrical device...That was my first vision - every electrical device in the living room routed across the floor with extension cords to be plugged into one kitchen outlet - then cleverly hidden by a 1987 microwave. And, being so inaccessable, how did one cord get unplugged?<br /><br />The mind that produces that logic then produces his jumbled literary "style". Or, "garbage in, garbage out".pearloftheprairiehttp://pearloftheprairie.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-81485706045779163502011-01-28T20:11:30.261-08:002011-01-28T20:11:30.261-08:00But nobody has asked the obvious question: Why is...But nobody has asked the obvious question: Why is everything plugged in behind the microwave? Does he live in an efficiency apartment where the kitchen and living room occupy the same space? And there's only one plug for the whole place?<br /><br />I'm an old fart, but I can't imagine calling the cable company due to my DVD player not responding to my pokes & repokes & all the prayers & screamings & so forth.<br /><br />Also, my VCR player has started eating tapes. To whom should I direct my prayers and technical service calls?<br /><br />Color me confused.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-64926899558238293902011-01-28T18:23:45.492-08:002011-01-28T18:23:45.492-08:00The other classic IT help question - "is it t...The other classic IT help question - "is it turned on" Inevitable answer- i hit the power button twice. My response - try hitting it 3 timesAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-41399209650475552282011-01-28T18:00:05.622-08:002011-01-28T18:00:05.622-08:00Brilliant analysis, Jay B! This is just like John ...Brilliant analysis, Jay B! This is just like John Bunyan!<br /><br />And a note in the non-techie Pastor's defense: if it turns out the Supreme Being(s) really do decide to make its/their wishes known thru the medium of an Indian tech-support person on my telephone, I will probably remain as clueless as Swankster. It'll mean the outer darkness in the end, I suppose.Li'l Innocenthttp://ladysmantle.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-47695012003966620742011-01-28T17:58:51.402-08:002011-01-28T17:58:51.402-08:00The unplugged cable probably was one of the 6-to-1...The unplugged cable probably was one of the 6-to-10 cords leading to & from the DVD player to/from the TV & other contraptions. Blast-My-Ass! we have a tv, dvd player, a "box" that connects us to AT&T Uverse, and amplifier box for (BIG scowl) surround-speakers (husband loves them. I think they're dolby, I <i>know</i> the sound is echo-y and weird). So we have 4 remotes, and another (hahaha) "universal" remote to switch on all the machines, <i>and</i> change the TV from "currently broadcasting tv shows" to "recorded tv shows" or DVDs. And don't get me started on downloading movies.<br /><br /> Like Swank, I get my kid to do it. It's not that I <i>can't</i>, it just isn't worth the trouble. I'm starting to just watch stuff on my computer.<br /><br />Being on the receiving end of many calls like Swank's, he doesn't sound too bad. I've had customers slam the phone down (can't do it with Today's phones), scream at me for daring to suggest they check the power or connector cord, and once threaten to come down and "whip your ASS!". I hung up on him, and dammed if he didn't call back and say we were cut off! I gave his call to my Boss, who deserved it.Kathyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03176801494652946278noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-21893949647758824172011-01-28T16:11:02.112-08:002011-01-28T16:11:02.112-08:00While I initially shared Jim Donahue's bafflem...While I initially shared Jim Donahue's bafflement: What does the DVD player have to do with the cable company? I eventually saw it for what it was, a parable of a searcher. <br /><br />If I have to spell it out: The DVD Player represented prayer (how come it doesn't work when I try to use it?). The baffled jargon-laden Indian phone jockey was God (this gibberish you are telling me, what does it have to do with my prayers?). And the mystically unplugged chord represents faith.<br /><br />Which simply proves that you can bypass God with color-coded input jacks.Jay B.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-62394976788859481102011-01-28T16:06:13.479-08:002011-01-28T16:06:13.479-08:00What amazes me is Grant's unapologetic lack of...What amazes me is Grant's unapologetic lack of concern with the fact that he reamed the poor tech support person for something that was his fault.<br /><br />There's real Christian kindness for you.<br /><br />It's a shame that he seems to have abandoned political commentary in favor of turgid religious garbage, because he could always be counted on to say something that would give us a good laugh.Green Eaglehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13477132834757467690noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-50153011326776947312011-01-28T15:11:47.486-08:002011-01-28T15:11:47.486-08:00Um, admittedly I'm not one of those urchins bo...Um, admittedly I'm not one of those urchins born with technical schematics hardwired to my cerebral cortex, but I have to ask, if the DVD player wasn't plugged in, how did he get it to accept the disc in the first place? I'm guessing either the pastor was poking buttons randomly and complaining that the disc he hadn't succeeded in putting into the player wouldn't start, or it was some other device in the chain that wasn't plugged in.bidzilibanoreply@blogger.com