Hello, World O’Crappers and let us count the ways Republicans heart Juvenile Road Kill, huh?
- Sweet, fresh kidneys (there are two per kid)
- Ripe, accurate retinas (two-per)
- Sharp precision corneas (two-per)
- Lovely liver, relatively free of chemicals. Plug & Play. Ready to Roll.
- Cartilage for orthopedic surgeries: (advanced ACL, other procedures)
The list is by no means complete, but even these few spare parts are enough to keep the average billionaire from having to pay the Death Tax for a few more years; at least long enough to contribute to his 2020 campaign.
Okay, it's a bit like the plot of The Island (2005), but unlike that movie's pen-raised, captive clones, our current NRA-approved system allows for the breeding of free range donors, with harvesting taking place at semi-regular intervals by volunteers, so capital costs remain low.
Thanks for your attention, and please pick up a free copy of our prospectus on your way out.