Friday, December 7, 2018

Random Scenes of Miami

I'm in the Magic City for a few days researching a screenplay (I can't say what it's about other than it involves nefarious activities in the early 90s, when cell phones were the size and weight of paving stones, a cocaine-encrusted upper lip was seen as the natural evolution of the pre-pubescent milk mustache, and by the way did you know one million dollars in hundred dollar bills weighs exactly 11 pounds?)

Anyway, when the cat's away the mice will play, but since our cats refuse to budge I've taken on the rodent responsibilities, and my idea of play is wandering around annoying the natives by snapping photos of things no sane tourist would give a second glance. And now I'm going to share them with you, because it's lonely in this hotel room and the pizza delivery boy is taking so long that by the time he finally arrives I'll be too pooped for the traditional porn scene. So enjoy.
Chicago, O'Hare



Traditional chicken matador and Plus One keeping vigil outside a restaurant.

I can't confirm their slogan, but I can recommend the Roast Pork.

Traditional chicken condemned to salivate at a chocolatier for all eternity.

Unfortunately this ad, while clearly attempting to traffic in nostalgia, makes Cuba sound like an intestinal parasite. But with enough Havana Club, you can at least keep your tapeworm drunk AF.

Traditional chicken guarding the off-brand Dollar Store.

The tomb of Mary B Hecht (1912–1982) who I’m guessing either died without survivors, or worse, hated her family enough to blow their inheritance on a granite Sphinx and a marble pyramid.

I can't tell if this chicken is saying "Welcome!" or "Eh. Salmonella. Whaddya gonna do?"

Um...Okay. I guess the lack of an apostrophe could mean it's not the barbecue equivalent of a Sambo's restaurant, but just another BBQ joint run by avuncular turkeys.

4 comments:

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

https://twitter.com/TheBloggess/status/1022293629593903107

Scott said...

Ah, Beyoncé, the Metal Anniversary Chicken.

Joan Parmer said...

Oh shit. I just wrote a long reply and deleted it. oops. Guess I better make it shorter this time. I loved the photos. The one at O'Hare has really nice shapes and colors. The ones in the city of Miami show a different glimpse at a place I have never been. Who knew painted plaster(?) chickens would be a repeated figure found around a city. I like the wall art proclaiming you are in Little Havana, the artist did a lovely job. The signs... they talk for themselves.
Did I pass the essay part of the quiz???

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Apparently, chickens have become an invasive species in Miami. Mike Rowe did an episode of Dirty Jobs called Chicken Busters, where he joined a team to hunt feral chickens around the city.

So, you're writing a move about feral chickens stealing cash from a bank in Houston? Kind of an updated Doberman Gang kind of thing?

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