Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Ladies Who Lynch

You may remember James Lewis from a previous appearance on World O' Crap ("Dr. Lewis, Your Penis is Calling"), in which he revealed that he's “a scientist by trade, and carps as a hobby about the passing parade of human fraud and folly," and in which he also defended Sarah Palin from "the feminist lynch mob."

Well, the Loose Women with the Noose are practicing their grim profession again, and James won't have it, for he simply cannot abide the thought of a word without Palin's "looks, charm, and eloquence."  But unlike Rich Lowry, James is not about wink-activated erectile tissue; no, he loves the Guv for her mind.  "Personally I like Palin for her ideas, but then I’m a policy wonk."

Which may be why he takes an unusually literary approach to his complaint, beginning with a lengthy quote from The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, specifically, the scene in which Colonel Sherburn shoots an obnoxious drunk in lukewarm blood, then later turns back an aspiring lynch mob with nothing but fluent scorn and a double-barreled shotgun.  You can see how this applies to feminist disagreements with Sarah Palin.
Sarah Palin's Grace Under Pressure

That's the John Wayne scene you've watched in a hundred Westerns, but it's now happening in reality. I think Sarah Palin, Michele Bachmann, Herman Cain, and the other conservative candidates are the Ronald Reagans of our time. It's not just a Hollywood flick.
They're not like some movie actor.  They're like a bad movie actor.
We are living in a poisonous time in American politics. The source of that poison is very clear. In case you were wondering, it's not the polite and well-behaved Tea Partiers.
There was some speculation last time about which scientific discipline James pursues in his day job.  Turns out his field is alchemical-etymology, or the transmuting of irony into actual iron.
Democrats have turned into ranting demagogues again, just like the Jim Crow South. In the last hundred years they have changed nothing but their scapegoats. You can easily pick out the shameless ones among them. They don't hide it. This is what Michael Barone calls "gangster government."
Thanks to recent technical advances, alchemical-etymologists can now take two unrelated words which don't describe what they're talking about, and combine them to make their point even more obscure.  Previously, an invisible force, which some scientists called "logic" and others dubbed "shame" caused the words to repel each other like magnets; but James and his colleagues achieved a breakthrough when they realized that dissimilar words could be forced to couple if the first one was a movie genre.  This is a phenomenon scientists now refer to as "slasher theosophy."
The Undefeated is a stunning documentary about Governor Sarah Palin against the lynch mobs of the left.
This is true; the film has been proven to have the same effect on the audience as a Taser.
These are not overly polite Adlai Stevenson liberals.
They actually win sometimes.
They are radical throwbacks to Saul Alinsky and Jozef Stalin. They follow Alinsky and the ACORN rules. These are the same people who have made our schools ungovernable. They are not just "stuck on stupid." They are stuck on the systematic abuse of power.
Translation:  "Young Pioneers!  Comrade Stalin Exhorts You to Build an Ungovernable State of Anarchy and Chaos in Your School with Iron Discipline and Unflagging Dedication!"
Political leaders who stand up against the media mob deserve a badge of courage. That goes especially for Sarah Palin, Michele Bachmann, and Herman Cain -- because in some perverse way the left reserves special abuse for the women and blacks it tries to control. It's the slavemaster's rage at liberated slaves.
I wonder how Adlai Stevenson would have expressed his slavemaster's rage.  Politely, no doubt.
Over three decades, I've seen lynch mob mentality rising in our colleges and universities, beginning with the Alinsky left. Every teacher and professor in this country has his own memories of that. 
Except for Associate Professor Doug Mullay, who teaches Diesel Technology and Dance at Truckee Meadows Community College, and who can't remember the lynch mob mentality rising at all since 1981.  But let's face it, TMCC is a total party school, and back in the lawless Clinton years Associate Professor Mullay was known to mix O'Douls and Dimetapp.
A few years ago the liberal president of Harvard was fired by the witch-hunters of the left for blurting out an innocent question about math talent and gender. That was far and away the most shameful moment of my lifetime in academic life.
And that innocent non-witch was never heard from again, if you don't count the part about him becoming a top White House official. 
Other than the global warming fraud, that is. Witch-hunting and global frauding are closely related.
In Colonial New England, Puritan communities would often have to purchase carbon offsets before they could burn a witch.
In an atmosphere or free speech on campus, no self-respecting scientist would let the global warming fraud to survive for a moment. Global frauding is a side-effect of an atmosphere of fear and intimidation in the schools and colleges.
It's only the fear of the Witchfinder General that prevents James himself from putting the entire staff of the NOAA under citizen's arrest.
The biggest fraud in the history of science is losing ground today. But if we do not defeat the totalitarian left on campus, a different eco-fraud will take its place. 
Spruce trees will begin emailing you, pretending to be the Nigerian Oil Minister.
None of this behavior belongs in a civilized society. Civilization is the ability to control the primitive side of human nature, the part that explodes in lynch mobs. If we allow this to go on, civilization will be the loser. 
Every time a Prius is sold, Barbarism hoots derisively at Civilization and makes an "L" on its forehead.
Around the world, hyenas from a thousand years ago are already circling for the kill, because they can see our moral weakness. Europe is practically gone already.
I'm sure I'm not the only one here who is desperately hoping that someone, somewhere, is working on a summer blockbuster about ancient zombie hyenas attacking Luxembourg.
Alinsky prescribed hateful agitation to overthrow civilized society, just like the imams of radical Islam. There's nothing "progressive" about the left. They are a purposeful throwback to chimpanzee mobs. 
Which are known for their propensity to lynch in the wild, as detailed in the 1971 Jane Goodall book, The Chimp-Bow Incident.
Unfortunately, Alinsky Rules are Obama's rules.

That's why the coming election will be the dirtiest since Jim Crow.
Chimps will lynch Republicans, while thousand year old members of the New Hyena Party will circle the polling place, attempting to intimidate Sarah Palin voters.
Today, conservatives take risks when they speak in public. That is intolerable in a free country. There is no free speech if you are afraid to say whatever you want. 
Yeah!  Just imagine the kind of smack James would be talking right now if he actually had any balls.
What we are seeing in the Age of Obama is not normal politics. It's certainly not the end of race-baiting. We are seeing a throwback to a much more primitive time.
They said it couldn't happen here. They said it was just the stuff of fiction, or paranoid fantasies, but we are all -- all of us! -- living through the same despair and horror experienced by the astronauts in It's About Time.
Mark Twain knew about lynch mobs in the South. But lynch mobs have been stirred up by radical left agitators going back to Karl Marx. Ottoman mobs killed Christian Armenians, Russian and Polish mobs killed Jews, white segregationist American mobs lynched blacks, Hutu mobs killed Tutsis. It's not race.
"Except for all the examples I just provided that shows it is."  Still, James has a good point, because occasionally, as in the case of Leo Frank, white segregationist American mobs would lynch a Jew, just to prove they weren't racists.
Since the left rose to power in America, new form lynch mobs have made a comeback -- with a vengeance, as the saying goes. "Vengeance" is the word.
I don't mean to quibble, but I believe "Grease" is the word.
 Lynch mobs have to feel aggrieved, and they have to find a target for their rage. They do not think. Facts don't matter. All they need is a scapegoat is vent their rage. 
So, you're recruiting?
The morons of Hollywood now specialize in lobbing dirt shells against decent Americans. The big media are run by billionaires who like to combine radical ideology with self-serving narcissism. These are not good people. They are malignant.
And as long as they're shelling us, they should probably go the extra step and load their ordnance with explosives instead of potting soil.  Otherwise I just feel like they're not taking me seriously as a potential source of collateral damage.
Not many elections are a genuine struggle between good and evil.
Especially Republican primaries, which are usually a genuine struggle between dumb and dumber.
Lincoln's election just before the Civil War was one such. Churchill's election in pre-War Britain was another. Good vs. malignant elections are rare, but they happen.
Well, Churchill wasn't elected Prime Minister, he was appointed by the George VI, so I guess that means his opponent in the House of Commons by-election for Epping was malignant.  Probably a Death Eater, too.
 If Sarah Palin doesn't get elected president, she should at least get an Academy Award for bringing back the vivid memory of Ronald Reagan and Good-versus-Evil morality movies. 
Or at least an AVN Award for "Best MILF/Necrophilia Dry-Humping Release (Non-Foreign)."
Most times are mixtures of good and bad. 
(Here James is reaching back into the Western Canon again, and quoting Charles Dickens' rejected opening line for A Tale of Two Cities.)
Palin is only one hero today.
But if you get her wet, or feed her after midnight, there could be half a dozen of her by tomorrow.  So beware.


HMDK said...

"If Sarah Palin doesn't get elected president, she should at least get an Academy Award for bringing back the vivid memory of Ronald Reagan and Good-versus-Evil morality movies."

She should.
Being honored for emulating a previous disastrous imbecile and advocating agressive chosen stupidity would be very fitting.

trashfire said...

Lewis and Blount (the great explorers who went in search of a Better America and got lost) are both doing the Soviet-analogy thing. Very retro. I remember Soviet analogies, being a kid in the 60s, from various dinner table drunken rants. In fact, both of these last two pieces you dissect have that drunken-rant feel, the free-associating, false-assumption-based, multi-targeted (because they're all the same), accusing the other of having all those awful qualities the accuser is exhibiting right now himself and might realize it if he'd just shut up for a second and.... Wait!! Look, everybody! President Obama just turned into a Jim Crow southerner! This really IS alchemy!

Anonymous said...

"Vengeance" is the word.

I don't mean to quibble, but I believe "Grease" is the word.

Don't you know, haven't you heard? Everybody knows that "bird" is the word.

Brian Schlosser said...

I can't imagine feeding her after midnight would cause her to transform into anything more horrifying than she currently is.

Jay B. said...

Jesus Scott.

Ladies who Lynch is the best goddamn headline I've ever read.

It's not you, it's the Internet that got small.

scripto said...

Now I know James Lewis is the nom de spume of an academic scientist as opposed to collar scientist but it seems to me that there is something wrong here

"If I know that my six-sided die isn't loaded, I'll get a specific number on average one out of six rolls. Two rolls of the die produces 1/6 x 1/6 = 1/36. For n rolls of the die, I get (1/6) multiplied by itself n times, or (1/6) to the nth power. That number becomes small very quickly. The more rolls of the die, the less likely it is that some particular sequence will come up. It's the first thing to know in any game of chance. Don't ever bet serious money if that isn't obvious. "

Scott said...

It's not you, it's the Internet that got small.

Well I know what I'm having chiseled on my tombstone.

maryclev said...

This was awesome, as always. Here's to the Ladies Who Lunch:

Anonymous said...

Is "global frauding" some sort of party thing the young people do?

Green Eagle said...

Mr. Lewis, almost unnoticed, produces one of the great advances in Conservative pseudo-history in this article. We often hear the bogus claim that Hitler was elected (most recently as proof that, just because Barack Obama was elected, that doesn't mean Republicans have to recognize him as President,) but until now, I have never heard anyone make the same claim for Churchill. Soon, we will no doubt hear that Genghis Khan and Attila the Hun were elected too, in support of the contention that our Government is best run by unelected Republicans like George W. Bush.

And by the way, Brian, if you feed Sarah Palin after midnight, she will turn into Michelle Bachmann.

Anonymous said...

Newsflash dickweed -- feminists hate white male politicians too. Especially the right-wing kind.

I don't mean to quibble, but I believe "Grease" is the word.

It's the way we are feeling.

Anonymous said...

I'm pretty sure he never head of Saul Alinsky before 2008.

Anonymous said...

Civilization is the ability to control the primitive side of human nature, the part that explodes in lynch mobs. And for hundreds of years now, one of the most civilized ways to control the primitive urge to physically assault those you oppose is to satirically eviserate them with language. Like you just did, Scott. Thanks for being so civilized.


lacp said...

Acclaimed scientificalist James Lewis' prose stylings are eerily similar to Pastor Swank's. Coincidence? I think not.

Anonymous said...

This kind of up-is-down shit was funny in Through the Looking Glass, but in the real world it's downright depressing.

manwith7talents said...

Word up, it's the code word.

But for what exactly?

heydave said...

Funny how with so many "fearful" things to worry about, truly scary stuff like unpleasant-to-intolerable climate change is fraudulent, not worthy of that sweet, sweet nectar of fear.