Today is the natal anniversary of our old friend Carl (alias Actor212), working thespian, thoughtful writer, and comic commenter par excellence. Carl can be found many places -- in the laughter of little children, in the gentleness of animals, in various filmed segments on Saturday Night Live, in his own blog Simply Left Behind, and in our comment threads, which he has been bedazzling with the Ronco Rhinestone & Stud Setter of his mind since Dinah Shore Ruled the Earth, if I may borrow a title from Christopher Durang and Wendy Wasserstein. And why not? They're New Yorkish, and so is Carl, for he is a man who has traveled every inch of every borough that isn't Staten Island by bicycle.
And not only is Carl warm, witty, and frighteningly huge, he's also kind enough to celebrate his birthday on or about the date of the Hollywood Christmas Parade, so I've got something to write about besides what a great guy he is. And he is, don't mistake me -- I'm not just saying that because he could snap me in half like a balsa wood kite stave.
Anyway, I did what I usually do every holiday season: wandered around the staging area of the parade and looked at half-flaccid balloons, then got the hell out before the paraders started parading. But by taking a few photos and placing them in cunning proximity to the first two paragraphs of this post, I can make it seem like we went to the trouble of throwing a parade in honor of Carl's birthday! (Shhh! Nobody tell him! I'm hoping if I can get the hang of this fake news thing, I can land a highly paid journalism gig with a Macedonian teenager.)
But enough of the brobdingnagian effigies looming over Hollywood Boulevard, let's serve the cheesecake!
Sadly, this photo seems to have driven our Sexy Birthday Lizard to a somewhat inappropriate response...
Dude! Stay in your lane, please.
And please join me, won't you, in wishing Carl a very happy birthday.