Tuesday, March 9, 2021

Strike Breaker? Or Fashion Risk Taker? You Decide!

 


AMERICA'S TRILLIONAIRES LEAD THE WAY

In Business...and in Business Casual!

AP - SEATTLE: Displeased by the way workers denied bathroom breaks have turned to inelegant solutions like unions, or peeing into empty soda bottles at their work stations, Amazon founder Jeff Bezos has turned his visionary's mind to the problem, and introduced this new line of fashion-forward staff uniforms: the Septic Slacks!™

Each leg is lined with waterproof, non-permeable materials that can hold up to an entire day's worth of urine and feces, meaning the worker NEVER HAS TO LEAVE HIS OR HER ASSIGNED STATION. Each new set of Septic Slacks contains a personal note from Jeff Bezos to the buyer:

"If you work for me
You're free to be
Poopin' and peein'
Vertically!"

6 comments:

prof_fate said...

How's this for a coincidence: I haven't checked by here in months, and here you have your first post since December.

It kind of reminds me of that ad for "Sparties - The 5-Day Disposable Diaper" in the NatLamp parody Negligent Mother Magazine.

This doesn't mean I'm not pissed at you, but I'm glad to see you haven't decamped for parts unknown.

Hank said...

Trust Google to revive an old web handle.

Scott said...

Google never forgets. Which is super inconvenient for me, considering how much I already have to live down.

Prof., pissed is the appropriate emotion, and I apologize to all. I had a bit of a mental breakdown, and withdrew into the hermetically sealed hermitage of a Bell Jar-dwelling hermit. But I'm trying to crawl back out, and I'm very grateful to you guys for still stopping by.

Hank said...

I don't think any of us is quite sane after this last year. But I'm glad to hear you're doing better.

Scott said...

Thank you, Hank. I don't deserve it, but I deeply appreciate it. And I have to admit, it's nice to stick my head out of this hole like Punxsutawney Phil, even if I do see my shadow, which means six more weeks of depression.

Debbi said...

I have so got to get back into the habit of stopping by here!

Priceless!!

Disqus