Thursday, May 19, 2011

Unlicensed Psychotherapy for Imaginary Ailments

Very sorry about the lack of posts lately. Mary has been sick (sick enough that she was put on a nearly month-long medical leave), so I've been distracted and not really in the mood for wingnuts. But as she's on the mend now and back at school, I took a quick glance at American Thinker, and it seems that former licensed psychotherapist and current so-nutty-you-could-sell-her-in-a-Stuckey's psychoblogger Robin of Berkeley is trying to get us to leave Obama, take the kids, and go back to our mother country.
Why Obama is Just Not That Into You

There's a psychologist who can predict with 91% accuracy whether a relationship will live or die. His name is Dr. John Gottman, and he runs something called The Marriage Clinic.
It sounds like a place where couples can seek counseling, but it's actually more like an OTB parlor. Over the past decade, Dr. Gottman has raked in hundreds of thousands of dollars betting on how frequently his clients will divorce; but while his foolproof system has made him a very rich man, his gambling has kept him out of the Marriage and Family Therapist Hall of Fame.
Gottman uses several factors to determine which marriages will succeed or fail. But the main one is this: contempt. If a spouse mocks the other, talks down to him, rolls eyes, or sneers, that marriage is a goner.
...or it's the basis for a hit family sitcom.
Gottman's seminal research reminds me of my friend, Laura, and her relationship with boyfriend, Justin. [...] It was a knot-in-the-stomach experience spending any time with them.
I suspect the feeling was mutual, Robin.
While Laura was generally sweet and supportive, Justin would continually put her down.

Sometimes, it was subtle, for instance, an eye roll or a sarcastic remark.
Maybe it's just me, but Justin and Laura seem less like Ike and Tina and more like Will and Grace.
Justin's pomposity is small potatoes compared to someone as contemptuous as our current President.
It's like Obama can't get through a single White House briefing without rolling his eyes at Laura.
Obama's arrogance has been crystal clear from the start. He sneered at Hillary Clinton during a debate: "You're likable enough." Obama then demonstrated the class of a l3-year-old by using his middle finger to gesture about Hillary, menacingly.
I don't know, Robin...I mean, I see how the old "forefinger across the throat" gesture is menacing, but can you flip someone the bird menacingly?  Or, more to the point, can you flip the bird about someone menacingly?

And if so, can all gestures be informed by menace?  For instance, the thumb-to-ear/pinkie-to-mouth "Call me" gesture?  Yes, because if you pull it away from your head, and give it a little shake, it becomes the shaka "Hang Loose," gesture, which is Hawaiian, and as we have learned in the past couple years, Hawaii is the world's largest Muslim country.

What about the hand-cupped-to-ear gesture, is that a menace to society?  If so, then Ronald Reagan was straight up gangsta.

The palms-turned-up "Meh" gesture?  I guess so, but who cares.  Air quotes?  More obnoxious than menacing.  Finger-guns?  No, of course not.
Okay, a little.
Obama presented former UK Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, with DVDs of American films that couldn't be played on British machines.
It's one thing to beat the Germans' Enigma cipher machines and decode their military secrets, but it's a little unreasonable to expect the British to cope with a Region 1 DVD.
Our classy Prez gave the Queen an iPod loaded with his speeches.
The Queen actually requested a video iPod to replace her older model, but while Obama did not in fact "load [it] with his speeches," the White House did add footage from the Queen's 2007 state visit to the U.S., which means it contained endless shots of Her Majesty making conversation with George W. Bush, which is a little like standing behind a veteran who's finally beginning to recover from PTSD and popping a paper bag.
But the quintessential dissing of our Mother Country had to be Obama's return of a bust of Winston Churchill, bestowed on the US by former Prime Minister Tony Blair after 9/11. 
Of course, the bust was just on loan, and it was returned to the British Embassy before Obama took office, but I think Robin is onto to something here.  The next time my Russian neighbor asks me where that rug-steamer is that I borrowed, I'll just say, "Well Vadim, since you you bestowed it on me, I felt like I couldn't just give it back, or I'd be dissing the Romanov Dynasty."
Apparently, the UK has taken note of Obama's bad manners; Barack and Michelle were excluded from the guest list of the party of the decade -- the Royal Wedding.
As were all other foreign heads of state who were not also members of foreign royal families.  Reagan was invited to the Royal Wedding of Charles and Diana, but didn't go, partly because no sitting U.S. President has attended the nuptials of foreign royalty and he didn't wish to set a precedent, and party because he was confused by Di's hair-do and thought she was Dorothy Hamill.
Obama's contempt is so far reaching that it transcends beyond the human realm.
 He once told Odin he thought the Rainbow Bridge connecting Asgard to Midgard "looked fruity," and has openly mocked the Frost Giants inability to dunk.
Even God is not exempt from Obama's hubris. Obama mocks the Bible, leaves God out of the Constitution, and covers up crucifixes at the College of Notre Dame.
It's even worse than you know, Robin, because Obama has apparently broken into my apartment, and removed God entirely from my copy of the Constitution!  I searched the whole thing, from the Preamble to the 27th Amendment, and not a sign of Him.
Even more disturbing about Obama is not what he does, but what he fails to do -- most especially, protect this country
...from stains and mildew with Scotch Guard®.
Obama allows Radical Islam to grow unfettered from within and without.
Apparently "grow unfettered" is one of those wimpy, politically correct euphemisms for "shoot in the head."
And talk about playing favorites...Obama practices reverse racism by preferring his brothers above all others. Obama's DOJ refuses to prosecute the New Black Panthers, through they threaten to kill "cracker babies." 
Well, I see Robin's pledge to take a moment each day to take Pride in her Whiteness is really paying off.  "Every day, and in every way, I'm getting bigoter and bigoter."
According to a DOJ whistleblower, the department will investigate no injustices against whites.
(Actually, what the department said was, they will sell no wine before its time.)
But we're not just talking egotism here. Even those presidents who were full of themselves still loved this country. There's something deeper and darker at work here: and it is contempt, if not outright hatred. 
Has there ever been an American President more contemptuous of his own people than Obama? Has any other President been as ungrateful for the honors bestowed on him?
And he'll probably show his ingratitude by returning those honors at the end of his term of office, thereby insulting the Queen (no, not Elizabeth, I mean one of our many fine American varieties of Queen -- Drag, Ellery, or Dairy).
The question here is: Why? Why does Obama turn his nose up on everyone else? Why does he see himself as a gift to mankind?

Perhaps it all started with his radical family who disliked this nation and viewed little Barry as the Great Black Hope. While all parents see their little tykes as special, young Barry may have gotten a Messiah Complex.
While Arnold Schwarzenegger, another egotistical, power-hungry politician who was born overseas, may have gotten a Herpes Simplex.  Unrelated?  Perhaps, but I know which one I'd rather have kiss my baby.
As an adult, Obama hooked up with revolutionaries who fed the delusion that he was the Second Coming. For instance, Black Muslim leader Louis Farrakhan preached to his flock that Obama was the Black Messiah. Obama himself told Harry Reid that he has a "gift."
And his "gift" is "wrapped," if you know what I mean, which is why he, unlike Schwarzenegger, doesn't have any little bastards running around.  Anyway, I'd be a lot more excited about all this if Farrakhan had told Obama he was the Black Samurai.
But why wouldn't Obama see himself as special? He's like most leftists who view themselves as saviors with grandiose schemes to save the world. Why wouldn't Obama and the left regard themselves as superior -- aren't they going to outshine God by configuring a heaven on earth?
The only problem I have with this plan is that our national anthem will be a Belinda Carlisle song.
Feel the menace, bitchez!


Carl said...

You ain't that far off, Scott. Dr Gottman runs a scam: Sells you a bunch of DVDs to "save your relationship"

My suspicion is you could get the same or even better results with these marital aid videos (definitely NSFW)

If a spouse mocks the other, talks down to him, rolls eyes, or sneers, that marriage is a goner.

You know the obvious question, Scott: Is Robin married?

I'mmmmmmmm thinking not.

I'm waiting for 2013, when Robin goes Full Metal Squeaky Fromme

Kathy said...

Yeah, it really gripes me when Obama smirks and rolls his eyes during his speeches. And when he flips-off the camera and makes the "gagging" motion, well, I just want to reach thru the TV screen and smack him!

Anonymous said...

Robin always leads me to contemplate if she is:
1. writing to us from a parallel world and the Internet wires got crossed.
2. delusional to the point of needing institutionalization.
3. an elaborate performance art piece making Colbert look pathetic.

One thing is certain, if she is not any of the above, she is lying cow who needs to shut up.

Anonymous said...

Histrogeek, I vote for a combination of #'s 2 and 4. #3 is too complimentary.

People like Robin, though, do make me appreciate Colbert even more. Imagine the Herculean task of attempting to parody these people! Yet he nails it every time. One might even imagine that he took lessons from our friends Scott and SZ here, who have been brilliant at it for a lot longer...

AnnPW (wouldn't let me post with my Google Account)

Li'l Innocent said...

Yes, one thing that always struck me about Black Jeebus' predecessor was the halo of humble gratitude that radiated from him. The man just lived to serve us regular folk.

heydave said...

I continue to be amazed at much shit Robin stuffs into her sack. She is like a tardis (look it up, geeks) that makes the boundaries of time and space look fucking foolish!

Anonymous said...

Glad that Mary is feeling better.

D'ya think Robin would feel better if she could just say "Man, that is one uppity N....r"?He has some nerve making Me feel inferior with his big words and smarts and good talkings and everything.
Robin, honey, it's really not personal.

Chris Vosburg said...

Thanks for the pic, Scott: "It STINKS!"

Now I've got the Idiot Control song stuck in my head, and you know there's only one way to make it go away: that's right, stick somebody else with it. So,

With a pickle mind
We kick the nipple beer
Steady as a goat
We're flying over trout
Ghetto down the highway
At the speed of light
All I wanna feel now
Is the wind in my eyes
Sack of monkeys in my pocket
My sister's ready to go!

All: Hear the engines roar now!
Idiot control now!
Hideous control now!
Ninny on the road now!
Minnie in control,
Wheels on fire,
Burning rubber tires!

Anonymous said...

Chris--your quoting of the song that Joel and the bots sang is making me laugh and smile, even though I now have a knee that has swollen to the size of an ostrich egg, thanks to my clumsy fall on the sidewalk this evening.

Thank you, Chris. For making me laugh at love, life, and my knee...again.

heydave said...

Go Mary!

If you get raptured, I'll water your plants.

Brian Schlosser said...

"Gee Robin, you can say stupid things!"

edit: captcha word - "vergen" As in "I'm a Vergen!"

Chris Vosburg said...

Ah Mary, if I only had a nickel for every time I've bicycled into a tree while hollering "I gotta sacka monkey in mah pocket! Muh sista reddy da go!" at unsuspecting passersby, I'd have at least, oh, 5 cents, at least.

Sorry about the knee-- This wasn't because you were laughing too hard to pay attention to mean old Mr Gravity, was it?

Chris Vosburg said...

Incidentally, Robin followed up with a post at her blog exclusively, which I presume means that American Thinker found it too stupid even for their readers.

After a heaping helping of remembered desegregation-based white fright ("And when middle school years came, they banded together and took their rage out on us white kids"), she moves on to her main course:

A story copied from elsewhere without attribution about the horror of teaching acceptance of gender diversity to elementary school children.

In it, Robin hilariously screws up who is doing the squawking, instead claiming that the God-bothering legal foundation which is complaining about the curricula is actually sponsoring the "event":

Robin: The two-day course is slated for children, from kindergarten through 5th grade, and is sponsored by a radical organization, the Pacific Justice Institute. The group wages legal war on religion on all fronts, including teachers that may play a religious song in the classroom.

A helpful commenter gently points out the obvious to Robin (beginning her comment with the requisite oiliness of "Robin, I love reading your posts."):

Commenter sugarc: I think you might have it wrong about the Pacific Justice Institute. I checked their web site and they are AGAINST it, not sponsoring it. In fact, they posted an article about the school’s activity and stated: “‘This instruction does not represent the values of the majority of families in Oakland,’ said attorney Kevin Snider of the Pacific Justice Institute.”

Duh, Robin, and Robin responds with a hasty deletion of teh stupid and then goes double-or-nothing with a clumsy attempt to justify her confusion:

Robin: There’s a Pacific Center in Berkeley, which is for LGBT. . and whatever they’ve added by now to the acronym.

...which does little to explain why Robin would think that the Pacific Center's LGBT agenda "wages legal war on religion on all fronts, including teachers that may play a religious song in the classroom."

Robin's confusion is still deeply abiding, however, and she continues, with stars, birds, windmills, and bats flying around her head in circles:

Robin So, the article is unclear who is actually sponsoring this thing. It must be an organized, local organization. I know we have one in Berkeley. If I can find out, I’ll post it.

Dear God. Yeah, you do that, Robin.

Naturally, still trying to win my boy scout merit badge in wising up dopes, I then helpfully commented:

ChrisV: Well, Robin, the "event" is a merely a description of suggested curricula for teachers to promote acceptance of gender diversity among their students. The dates, incidentally, correspond to the days immediately following May 22, which is "Harvey Milk Day" in California.

If you still don't understand why a school would want to do this, you might want to read this helpful piece on Creating Safe Schools from the local PTA.

Alas, never made it past moderation by the woman who claims to "want a dialog."

Carl said...

an organized, local organization

We know two things:

1) Robin is on the Department of Redundancy Department's oversight committee

2) It couldn't a liberal "organization". We couldn't organize dominoes if you spotted us the ability to alter pips.

Green Eagle said...

A little late, but I think it's time for you and all of us who came together to elect Robin to the position of Conservative Blogress Diva this year, to pat ourselves on the back and congratulate ourselves for a job well done.

And thanks, Robin, for continuing to justify our faith in you.