Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Strong Enough for a Man, But Made for a Neuter Noun

I gotta say, any day that sees the triumphant return of both S.Z. and Robin of Berkeley is a damn fine day indeed, one which fills my veins with the non-dairy creamer of human kindness. So I'm going to get the holiday season started early this year, with a preview of our annual gift giving guide.

(The item below appears courtesy of our buddy, film scholar Jim Donahue.)
Dear friend 
Wonderful day! 
Do you still remember Vision 3 ,yes ,vision 3 special package for Christmas is coming.
I don't remember the product, but the inconsistent capitalization rings a bell...
Material:Carbon fiber tube 
Size: (L)130.5mm*(D)17.5mm  
Output Voltage:3.2v-4.8v 
Are you still annoying the problem that what is the best guy for Christmas’ selling .Consider vision 3 and I believe you will have a wonderful Christmas day. 
Good luck! 
Shenzhen Jinokn Technology Co., Limited  
Facebook: vera wei 
Skype : jinoknecig
I'm such a procrastinator.  Here it is, almost Thanksgiving, and I haven't even begun to annoy the problem of what is the best guy for Christmas' selling, or addressed whether the best guy for the selling is even a guy; perhaps a woman would be more annoying! We must think outside the box.

And while we're out there, you should probably get around to hanging Christmas' lights. But move that apostrophe first -- you might cut yourself.

Anyway, as Vera says in her subject line, Father Christmas will be attracted by them— electronic cigarette battery, so buy one now, and you'll never again have to ask a neighbor to jumpstart your e-cigarette on cold mornings.

(On the downside, use of Vision 3 ,yes ,vision 3 special package has been shown to attract Father Christmas' and occasionally raccoons. We recommend storing it in a Rubbermaid container.)


Carl said...


Hope you and Mary are feeling better, buddy.

Li'l Innocent said...

Are these things meant to make Rudolph obsolete? The poor little big-eyed guy, hero of my extreme youth?? Could it even make Dasher and Dancer and the whole team redundant, by drawing Father Christmas right down from the pole sans deer, sans sleigh, like a sort of Yuletide Magnetic Monster????

I protest. Don't you get one, Scott. Don't anybody get one.

Also, hope you guys are daily improving.

Weird Dave said...

Not that I would know for sure, but I get the impression that thing would not plug into an American wall outlet.

And what Carl and Ms. Innocent said.

Meanie-meanie, tickle a person said...

Ever checked out Get your Cheap Chinese Crap™ wholesale, from Mainland Chinese entrepreneurs with English first names. Every freakin' one of 'em. Funniest part is they give every appearance of expecting us to believe it...

Disclaimer: I buy quite a bit of my CCC at, alibaba's version of ebay's stores. Harbor Freight Tools discovered ages ago that "everyone needs more Cheap Chinese Crap", and they're right!