Sunday, September 27, 2015

Scenes From a Marriage: Episode 423

[SCOTT opens the freezer and stares into it for a moment.]

SCOTT:  Well, this is sad.

MARY: What?

SCOTT: This may be the most depressing thing I've ever seen.

MARY:  What?

[SCOTT pulls freezer door wide, to reveal a single half corn-on-the-cob, laying on the ice trays.]

SCOTT: Frozen, pitiful, alone. He was the last of his polar expedition...

[MARY rolls her eyes.]

SCOTT:  Tragically, he perished only a hundred yards from Base Camp...

[MARY sighs and grabs the frozen cob.]

SCOTT: His journal is heartbreaking...

[She tosses it across the kitchen; it hits the bottom of the trashcan with a THUNK! like a rock.]

MARY:  That'll teach you not to be so fussy about eating your sled dogs, Commander Cobb!

SCOTT:  I was going to ask what's for dinner, but I I won't.


M. Bouffant said...

Not to be a topper (much) but I have a bag of Whole Foods corn in my freezer that is marked "Best Used By Nov. 01.10". Not a typo, either.

Scott said...

Frozen stiff for five years? I'd say you easily win the Cereal Grains That Most Resemble Failed Polar Explorer Robert Falcon Scott competition.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Nice! I have cleared stuff like that out of my dad's fridge.

That's right...fridge. And it had been opened, too.

grouchomarxist said...

"Why, heck, I've got things in my refrigerator that are older than you!"

The Epilogue from Sinfonia Antarctica would have been the perfect musical accompaniment for that scene, you delightfully twisted people.

Li'l Innocent said...

If I may pay the compliment without making anyone too sad, that's the kind of dialog dear Doghouse used to categorize under "Fun With Monogamy".

Things get more complicated with items that have been put in snap-top containers or ziplock baggies, but not labeled. We have a rogues' gallery of cute little containers with red & blue tops at the back of the fridge -- beige contents, brown, reddish... I figure, comes the revolution, they could come in handy.

Smut Clyde said...

The Epilogue from Sinfonia Antarctica

I rate for Vaughn Williams.

heydave said...

I like it!

Carl said...

Excuse me but that's COLONEL Cobb.