But that's not going to stop me from taking out my Pimp Hand, rubbing some Lubriderm Pimp Hand Lotion on it, and pimping these fine products (even, if necessary, resorting to a dazzling display of Jazz Pimp Hands):
First, I recently had the pleasure of joining them again on their All-Star Summer Jamboree (or ASSJam) podcast, along with an international cast of geeks, for a strange and funny chat about Star Trek -- the series, the movies, the Priceline commercials -- which quickly snowballed into a time zone-spanning, trans-Atlantic Trekkian throw-down. Brits vs. Yanks! Spock's Brain vs. Deep Space 9! Shirts vs. Skins! (I'm assuming, anyway -- it was a Skype conversation, so the odds seem high that at least 30 percent of the participants were nude.) It can be found at the link below:
ASSJam Episode 36: It's All About the Penis
(I admit the title is at least partially -- okay, mostly -- my fault, but in my own defense, I was provoked to a penis-driven rage by an intemperate allusion to Rocky Jones, Space Ranger.)
Second, the latest (and sadly, last) episode of their video series is a treat for the eye (particularly if that eye is smeared with a vaguely star-shaped blob of greasepaint and shoots badly animated laser beams), because happily, the Boys are going out with a bang by giving their patented CommentaRIFFING treatment to:
KISS MEETS THE PHANTOM OF THE PARK
Oh yeah, baby. You know what Daddy likes...
The video is introduced by Webberly Rattenkraft, the Fact Rat, from KOFY TV's Creepy Movie Time. Unfortunately, the sound on his (or her) segment is low and a bit difficult to make out -- at least, it was on my computer -- but Mike and Ike's commentary (which starts at about the 3:00 mark) is extremely clear. Unlike the plot of KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park.
The Velvet Blog, who has turned Sheri and I on to many a bad movie (including the execrable art house offal, It's All About Love) has an article in the latest issue of Cashiers du Cinemart on the stunningly inept After Last Season (imagine a film smacking a gob. Forever.).
As Jim informs us, "It's kind of a review/interview hybrid. I tracked down several of the actors in it and interviewed them via email. One of them really dished."
A trailer for the film (which looks Birdemic-like in the scope of its ambitions and the limitations of its execution) can be seen in this post on TVB. Click the link and treat yourself to 100 CCs of pure, uncut, intravenous crap.
According to Jim (the author, not the crappy sitcom), "The issue also features articles on Bloodsucking Freaks and the Findlays' Flesh trilogy, so it also makes a great Mother's Day gift." He adds that while there are a "bunch of ways to buy it, but probably the easiest/cheapest is the Kindle version, available here.
"May I add for those old-school folks out there that Cashiers du Cinemart #17 (edited by Mike White of the Projection Booth podcast) is also available in a dead tree edition. I got mine yesterday, and I have to say ... man, print is cool, isn't it? It just has something that e-books don't.
"The print edition--which has illustrations not in the Kindle edition, I believe--is $8 (plus shipping) as opposed to the Kindle $5. It's perfect bound and looks great. For anyone who remembers the 'zine movement, this may be better way to go."
It's available here.
And finally, Mary, who's an early riser, has already completed her daily rounds of the Internet, and learned that today is the 9th Blogiversary of Thrilling Days of Yesteryear, which Ivan is celebrating with a New York Review of Books style thumbsucker:
In a world where social media outlets like Facebook and Twitter become more and more popular with each passing day…blogs are starting to become the equivalent of a Model T.He always gets so pensive around the holidays. But the question remains, when the kids start zipping past your rattletrap old blog with their sporty Twitters, and even soccer moms are running you off the road with their massive Sport Utility Facebooks, do you call it quits, or head to the show room and trade her in? Click here to find out, then wish him seasonally appropriate felicitations, and stick around to read the latest episode of The Adventures of Sir Galahad. The Black Death has never seemed quite so goofy.