Originally published August 20, 2004.
Jeffy and Dolly, whom we last saw looking for angels, are apparently still lost in the woods. But it's daytime now, and there isn't a cloud in the sky. Just an airplane. Dolly says: "I know where that plane is going. To an airport."
Yes, Mommy left the two tikes in the forest for the dingoes to eat. Dolly tells Jeffy that she knows where the plane is going, making him think that they can use it to find their way home. But then she reveals that all she knows is that it's going to an airport. Ha ha. Jeffy has had about all he can stand (it's not bad enough that he hasn't been given a speaking part in weeks, but now the only person he gets to interact with is his bossy sister who keeps making these inane remarks). So, he secretly sells her out to the dingoes.
This plane isn't going to an airport. It's being flown by George W. Bush, who wants to prove something about his manliness in response to the attacks on Dick Cheney's lack of a war record. Unfortunately, Dubya doesn't know how to fly jets, and the plane is going to crash into a shopping mall in Columbus. Ohio will no longer be a swing state.
Fortunately, Alison has a better handle on this one than I do
New toon! Analysis :I know where that plane is going. To an airport.I know who is flying that plane. The pilot.I know who is on that plane. Passengers.I know what they are eating. Peanuts.See how the terrible suspense just builds and builds to unbelievable intensity here, to the point where a future movie deal seems inevitable? Yes, it's the All-Terror-All-the-Time-All-About-Me Flight of Doom. Annie Jacobsen is played by Dolly, who no longer has any forehead at all, and Jeffy takes the role of Annie's new best friend Billy Jo McAllister, last seen throwing a McDonalds bag off the Tallahassee Bridge. Keane has seen fit to draw Jeffy with a prosthetic left arm here in a nod to Billy Jo being so sensitive about one of the passengers having a limp : "It was more than a limp. It was the dragging of the foot." One can only hope that Kevin Spacey will be available for the role.As Annie says herself, "This is Part 5 of an ongoing series." So remember, if you can't completely disgrace yourself in five WSJ columns and several TV appearances and still get a movie deal out of it, then the terrorists have won.Prediction : Coming soon to a theater near you.Alison •
Obviously, Alison and Bil Keane are collaborating to make the rest of us look bad. It's up to you to win one for the little guy!