The following phone call is real. Parental discretion advised.
SCOTT: Hey, I'm heading home. Where do we stand with dinner?
MARY: I need to dry rub the meat.
MARY: That sounded really awful, didn't it?
SCOTT: Oh I don't know. It sounds great if you're the meat.
SCOTT: Except for that "dry rub" part. You might want to spit in your hand, just as a courtesy.
[SOUNDS OF STIFLED LAUGHTER THAT REFUSE TO GIVE YOU THE SATISFACTION]
SCOTT: So how long's this going to take? Although I guess that really depends on the meat...
SCOTT: ...and what sort of self-control it has.