Tuesday, August 30, 2016

Happy Birthday, Doc Logan! I Got You...


Quite a lot of them, in fact, which works out rather well for a man whose nom de blog is based on a George A. Romero character (as the good Doctor explained back in 2013).

So we have two happy events for you today (I know, it's actually tonight; nearly tomorrow, in fact, but as usual, I'm working with a bum back). Number one is the natal anniversary of longtime Crapper Doc Logan, a man known and beloved around World O' Crap for slinging both witty comments and trenchant critical opinions on popular culture (primarily genre flicks, but then that's the kind of culture most popular in these parts). Number two is a new Slumgullion, an unusually cheery installment of the show, featuring two men besotted with joy as they contemplate: Psychokinetic constipation! Naked brains! And that guy from Daktari!

In the first half we discuss a new film that feels old in the best way: The Mind's Eye, a supernatural thriller that captures that 70s vibe with a fusion of The Fury and Scanners. Also, Jeff heaves a little hate at the new Ben-Hur. For the Unknown Movie Challenge, we look at a movie which scared the hell out of Jeff as a child, but which I had somehow managed to never see until now: Fiend Without a Face (1958). It's a fun film, with which we have...a lot of fun.

Now, let's get the birthday party going!

It's after dinner, so I'm not really thirsty or hungry, but the apartment is sweltering, so I am too hot to fuss. Thus this is, indeed, the team for me: a half-gallon of frozen, concentrated lemonade, and "creamy Lunch Box--the relish-spread that makes you hungry for a sandwich", provided you've got a hankering for a sandwich that's been covered in what looks like mayonnaise with acne.

Everyone get enough? Feel free to take seconds! There's plenty, since some of you are stubbornly refusing to take firsts.

Okay, time for dessert. Our cheesecake is provided by the female lead of Fiend Without a Face, the adorable Kim Parker:
To paraphrase Gloria Swanson in Sunset Boulevard, "We didn't need dialogue. We had faces! And our fiends didn't even need that."

Please join me in wishing Doc Logan and very happy birthday (for the next thirty minutes at least, since it's 11:30 PM here). And check out The Slumgullion, Episode 15 and let us know what you think.

Now, in lieu of the traditional Sexy Birthday Lizard, I'm going to substitute a Very Sexy Surprise. Click below the fold...If you dare.

Happy birthday, Doc!


Keith said...

Glad to see you had some fun with those brain flagellates.

Kim Parker is the only redeeming feature of the film.

Li'l Innocent said...

Many joyful returns, Doc! Not quite sure what to say about that generous helping of brains (and spinal cords) -- I understand they can be quite scrumptious when served in a jellied aspic, once you've subdued 'em.

Quick, pass the lemonade... (Eww, Scott!)
I caught that movie kind of on the fly (I was doing something else and casting random glances at the tv, IIRC) on one of New York's local stations back in the 60s. I was too old to be scared by it, just thought it was remarkably cheesy. And having just googleized it, I gotta say I'd retained no notion that it was British, fer crissakes. Not only that, but it's been remastered and made available on glossy DVD by the Criterion Collection, the same folks who bring us gorgeous restorations of everything from silent classics to obscure Japanese ghost thrillers to post-WW2 Italian Realism.
Which goes to show: ya never know.

My very sympathetic props to Kim Parker. Any woman who's actually worn a bra or swimsuit of that era with that kind of internal architecture will understand what I mean.
But it's nifty cheese crumpet all the same; enjoy it in good health, Doc!

heydave said...

Hooray on all the news!

Hank said...

Late to the party again, although this time at least I have a good excuse: preparing for an 1100-mile drive, and then doing an 1100-mile drive. And then being totally wiped out by the 1100-mile drive. (I'm getting too old for this crap ....)

Happy birthday, Doc! And many more to come.

I have a question for you: Speaking medically, could you enlighten us on whether brains really are filled with custard -- like in The Brainiac -- or, as in your birthday movie, a substance resembling runny Jello? Although I suppose that since the Fiends were geezer-spawned psychic projections that took on a life of their own, that might account for the difference.

Keith said...

Doc, my birthday greeting got excised from comment.

Happy birthday, happy brainz!!!!

Doc Logan said...

Wow, thanks everybody!

Thanks to Scott for fighting through back pain to write this. I have some familiarity with this myself, so it is appreciated on a very large scale. I'm also in a hot climate without air conditioning.

Kim Parker is profoundly lovely. As Li'l Innocent observed (and thank you so much for the good wishes!), that sort of garment must be the sort of thing that makes you count the seconds until it comes off. As a young lecher, I would leer, as an old geezer I think "Poor dear".

Thanks also to Keith, and to Hank. Hank, I'm not a real doctor, much like Dr. Laura or Dr. Phil, but I have it on good authority that when brains are ruptured, they ooze Lunch Box brand sandwich spread.

I was humbled by the scale of last year's SBL, with a side of kaiju terrapin, but I am deeply honored to be the recipient of the inaugural Sexy Birthday Brain.

I'm sad to report that I've never seen "Fiend Without A Face", as my local UHF station didn't have it in their movie package when I was a child. However, they did have the Universal monster movies, which I can assume slightly made up for the omission.

Also, I cannot stress this enough, LISTEN TO THE SLUMGULLION. I can't imagine any World O' Crap reader not hanging on the edge of their seats waiting for the next installment. Scott and Jeff are doing an amazing job with it, and it frankly makes me sad that I don't see a dozen comments on the Slumgullion posts saying "Wow, Scott and Jeff, great job!".

Nobody should be sorry about responding after the fact (hell, I'm one of the subjects of this post and I show up a week late). You just spread the birthday cheer over a longer stretch of time. Thank you scott, Mary, SZ and all the contributors and commenters. This is a great community and I'm proud to be a part of it.