With Rick Santorum the Republican frontrunner (although I understand he may have blown his improbable lead with a clumsy performance at last night's debate) even wingnuts are getting nervous that he's a bit too pure and proud an example of the breed.
So this seems like a good time to introduce a little perspective. Yes, Rick Santorum
is a religious oddball whose skull is a cage full of a angry weasels decked out in papal robes and working themselves into a frothy mixture, but he's hardly the craziest candidate in the race. That distinction still belongs to Dr. Laurie Roth.
You may remember Dr. Roth
, the former disco recording artist and current "'Annie Oakley' of the airwaves," who is taking her Ph.D in Counseling and her black belt in Tae Kwon Do, and running for President on the Flip Your Whig* ticket.
New coming holocaust-- Christians and conservatives
The Coliseum is turning on the lights. Attendants have their popcorn and sodas ready. The stands are packed with distracted and thrilled onlookers awaiting "the battle of Gods."
The watchers know this will be a bloodbath and a gooey entertainment fest like never before.
Apparently the movie Gladiator
left me with a rather skewed, historically inaccurate view of what went on at the Coliseum, but Dr. Roth has inspired me to stop letting Hollywood do my thinking for me. So I've decided to do some research and learn for myself which of the many deities in the Roman pantheon was the God of Carbonated Beverages.
Who are the players who will delight the crowd? First we have "Christians and Jews" and those dangerous "Constitutionalists" on one side. Look, they are behaving just like King Obama said — their Bibles and being "bitter clingers."
Personally, I prefer the Bitter ones to the other four flavors of clingers, because unlike Savory, the discovery of the Bitter clinger didn't lead directly to the development of monosodium glutamate.
On the other side are the leaders of Islam, Sharia law, and global elitism. These are headed by their savior, King Obama.
So the leaders
are going into the arena to fight to the death? Maybe Gladiator
wasn't that inaccurate after all, 'cause this is just like that scene where Commodus faces off against Maximus (and I've got my money on the Elitists, because Obama is in pretty good shape, whereas the average "Constitutionalist" -- at least, the ones who show up on cable TV -- seem a little on the doughy side).
In special, heated box seats, I see the UN and Muslim leadership from the 57 Muslim countries. In another box next door, painted in streaks of bright colors, are all the unemployed movie stars, and wannabe terrorists such as William Ayers and Bernadine Dorn, who obsessively stand with Palestine and anyone attacking Israel.
Sarah Palin repeatedly declared that Ayers and Dohrn were terrorists, and now they've been demoted to mere wannabes? I think at the very least they should have been offered the title of Terrorist Emeritus.
Next to them, by the pop machine, are the traitorous sell-out media and leftist political leaders who routinely sell out America and march her toward the new Holocaust — the control and eradication of Christians who support the Constitution, and Jews who just won't go away.
History teaches us that before his failed Beer Hall revolution in 1923, Hitler hung out by the vending machines and attempted a "Break Room Putsch." And Dr. Roth is right about one thing: judging by the recent blather coming from wingnut bloggers and cable TV talking heads, especially on the topic of contraception, the entirety of "Christians who support the Constitution" probably would
fit in a single luxury skybox.
The stage has been set for our demise. 72 FEMA camps have been activated.
FEMA Camps are the Wonder Twins of extrajudicial detention.
The NDAA bill has been voted into law, launched by Marxist posers John McCain and Carl Levin.
So...they're just posing
as Marxists? I somehow doubt McCain's performance is very convincing, but I admit, I haven't seen his drag act, so who knows? Maybe he looks good with a beard. Certainly Chief Justice John Roberts does.
None of this is new. The pattern established by Hitler is simply being copied by Obama and his thugs.
Rejected by the Academy of Fine Arts in Vienna, Hitler spent the years before WWI becoming an accomplished dressmaker, and many of his patterns are still sold today by Butterick and Simplicity.
Remember, Obama is the teleprompter King.
He will not be undersold! And now that he's added HDTVs to his inventory, he's locked in a deadly price war with L.A.'s own Paul, the King of Big Screen
He copies his heroes — Saul Alinski, Hitler, and other dictators. He also obeys what his handlers tell him — global elitists and Islamic leaders.
I never knew Saul Alinski was an unelected head of state who ruled a nation with an iron fist. I also never knew he spelled his name with two i's, but then, neither did his publisher, so I guess I shouldn't feel too bad. I do feel obliged to point out, however, that if you wield supreme, unquestioned power, and yet you obey your own employees, then you're kind of a shitty dictator. (And I'm a little confused by that last sentence. Are his handlers "global elitists and Islamic leaders" or are his handlers telling
him, "global elitists and Islamic leaders," which doesn't really sound like a command as much as it sounds like a Jeopardy!
category if Sean Hannity were the host.)
Adolph Hitler wrenched democracy and freedom from Germany's hands with "Hitler's Enabling Act," voted legally into law March 23, 1933.
It was smart of him to trademark it like that, because now the Justice Department can go after anyone who illegally enables, so my friends in AA are getting a lot less pressure from Ukrainian websites to have a beer.
It was also called "Law for Removing the Distress of the People and the Reich."
And while the legislation was still being debated in committee, it was briefly known as "Butterflies Are Free."
You may recall that Hitler had the Nazis burn down the Reichstag German government building so they could create enough panic to get the votes for Hitler's enabling act.
You may also recall that just prior the Presidential election in 2004, the Terrorist Swatch Alarm went from Dusty Mango to Passionate Raspberry.
Responding to the signing of the NDAA Bill, Obama stated he would never abuse the power. GOP frontrunner Mitt Romney, also a supporter of this bill, said he would never abuse the power due to his character.
Unfortunately, Romneys' character is a Level 64 Blood Elf, and they're mean
Listen to the words of another famous person, Adolph Hitler.
Laurie, I don't mean to be critical, but this is not
the way you play This Is Your Life
. You're supposed to make us guess
who it is.
Hitler promised a ton of lies before the vote.
And yet he only delivered 1,633 pounds of lies. The rest of the volume was just packing peanuts.
Hitler and the Nazis were part of the "Green" environmental agenda and supportive of national healthcare, as Obama is.
Maybe we're looking in the wrong direction. Based on this evidence, it's just as likely that the real
modern Hitler is Ed Begley, Jr.
From the beginning, the signs were everywhere that we had a tyrant for a president.
Yes, yes, I know, Laurie. They already covered this on Blue's Clues
Don't forget that Obama and Michelle were supportive of and in attendance at flag-burning events, and stated publicly before Obama was elected how they hated America.
Wow, my memory is really going, because I totally forgot both those things. Even worse, I can't remember who played "Cooter" on The Dukes of Hazzard
In fact, Michelle said she only started to love America after Obama was elected.
Well, that's not really a fact, since she actually said, "For the first time in my adult lifetime, I'm really proud of my country," and she actually uttered it in February, 2008, about 8 months before the election, so apparently Michelle is working for Skynet, and is able to come back in time to alter events, which explains the seemingly impossible fact that Ronald Reagan increased taxes 11 times. It also raises suspicions about that incident in 1911 when Reagan's pregnant mother crushed a cyborg in a machine shop.
Obama constantly has surrounded himself with Communists, and with anti-American and anti-Jewish colleagues and employees. His actions from day one have been against Jews, Christians, conservatives, the Constitution, and God himself.
It's clear that Obama targeted these five opponents for one reason: so he could challenge them to a pick-up game of basketball (I mean come on, have you seen that guy's jump shot?). And while most commentators agree that Jesus is a dominating power forward, the ball is always tacky with blood and hard to handle after he dribbles.
Obama will not willfully give up his power.
Well, not today, anyway -- he has a lot of appointments on his calendar. So we're to have to do something drastic, like vote him out of office; but before we can even think about that, we'll have to undertake two perilous quests. First, destroy his horcruxes, and second, open the peoples' eyes to Obama's true nature by marshaling a very serious, thoughtful,
argument that has never been made in such detail or with such care. I'm thinking maybe we could compare him to Hitler.
I predict, as the months unfold toward Election Day 2012, that Internet conservative journals and speech will be greatly diminished.
You've probably noticed, as I have, that whenever people of Laurie's ilk make forecasts, they seldom come true. But this is the first prediction in which I can guarantee that the exact opposite will come true.
This will be a financial attack, regulation attack, and set of contrived legal attacks. Talk radio and conservative commentators will also be attacked and silenced.
This one, however, is almost certain to be fulfilled, provided we define "attack[ing]" and "silenc[ing]" a talk radio host as "switching to the light rock station in time to catch the Four Pack of Dan Fogelberg."
Watch for contrived and invented threats to attack parts of America, while the Russians are blamed......oh yeah, that was Hitler
Actually, that was Poland, not Russia, but let's not interrupt Laurie -- she's on a roll.
Watch out for bold attacks aimed at national Tea Party groups and leaders.
Assuming you can find one somewhere. Maybe try the Cracker Barrel...
Watch out for pastors to be arrested for preaching from the Holy Bible and not editing their speech.
Grammar Nazis. I hate these guys.
We are seeing Obama war with the Catholic Church and Christian faith.
war. Just like with Paul, the King of Big Screen, Obama is underbidding the Prince of Peace with free
birth control bills!
His healthcare mandate intends to force churches and religious organizations to provide abortion drugs and supportive products.
Oh, great. First Obama made Catholic affiliated companies offer health insurance that includes contraception, now he's forcing the Vatican to underwrite the purchase of morally objectionable jockstraps and spleen trusses!
There is no place in our Constitution where insurance companies and religious groups can be forced to pay for abortion services and products.
There's also no place in our Constitution where Catholic bishops get a veto on Federal legislation.
Yet, this president, who hates the Constitution, just continues to ignore it as he takes bold leaps forward into his beloved new and improved, Fascist America.
Nazis on pogo sticks. I hate these guys.
We have a president who is demanding the nation pay for abortions regardless of Americans' beliefs.
Fascist. I think the President should go the Communist route and demand that abortions be free. Then Archbishop Dolan won't have to worry about his parishioners' donations going to subsidize an objective evil, like drugs that suppress ovulation, and can instead be spent on projects which benefit the entire body of Christ, like grudging compensation to victims of clerical sexual abuse.
If we let him, he will start forcing assisted suicide on all who are disabled, medically too expensive, or just too old to contribute anymore. Remember, this was already done in one of the most civilized countries on earth, Germany. We are watching it unfold right before our eyes in America. History MUST NOT repeat itself.
Laurie, on the other hand, must repeat herself. Frequently.
Those of you who love our Constitution, freedoms, and Judeo-Christian values and heritage — understand that you are on a growing enemy list. "Bitter clingers" that you are.....buy more guns, Bibles, and ammo NOW. ... Don't ever submit to forced healthcare
Except for transvaginal ultrasounds.
Don't ever submit to authorities arresting you in the middle of the night.
If you must die for your liberty, die with these words on your lips. "I regret that I have but one life to give for my country, and I particularly regret that I gave it while wearing plaid pajama bottoms and a t-shirt from the "Baldknobbers Jamboree Show" in Branson, Missouri."
*Apologies to the decidedly non-crazy FlipYrWhig.