Saturday, May 26, 2018

'Wisk Gets Out Ring-Around-The-White-Collar-Crime!

[Stolen from Sheri's Facebook page]:

My recap of the commericals I just watched.

Uber: "Hi, I'm the chairman of Uber. You might have heard that we suck, and we used to suck, but my Dad always taught me not to suck, so now we won't. Give us money."

Facebook: "We used to be about ranking college coeds. And then we were about keeping in touch with friends and other people you like. And then we were about trying to one-up people you tolerate. Then came the click-bait, the fake news, us selling your data to people who used it to influence elections, and us becoming a plague on all humanity. But since we got caught, we are working on returning Facebook back to its true purpose: ranking college coeds."

Sunday, May 20, 2018

Post-Friday Beast Blogging: The Dynamic Duo Edition

MOONDOGGIE: I'll save you! Old...chum...!

SHADOW: He's dreaming he's Batman again.

MOONDOGGIE: If I could only...reach my...utility belt...!

SHADOW: I keep hoping I'll show up in his dream as Catwoman, but since he obviously thinks he's the '66 Batman, all that sexual tension probably wouldn't go anywhere. Sigh.

Monday, May 14, 2018

The Slumgullion #47: HELP! (Not The Beatles One)

The boss is out of town, it's the end of the world, and we've gone CRAZY! Jeff has returned from the Upside-Down with eerie, unearthly powers of hypocrisy! Scott is being pants'd by his TV! The New Movie Crew has that monkeypox from Outbreak! And Thanos has gotten ahold of the Nintendo Power Glove, and he's bedazzling the crap out of it!

Join us, won't you?

Sunday, May 13, 2018

Happy Mother's Day!

By Bill S.

It's Mother's Day, and if you're lucky enough to have a mom you love, don't hesitate to tell her today, and every day.

And be grateful you didn't get saddled any of these moms...

Worst TV Moms

Bonnie Plunkett (Allison Janney) on "Mom" Made Edina Monsoon look like Donna Stone.
"Kids need their space. Take it from me."
"Is that why I never saw you my entire sophomore year?"

Jenny MacArthur (Kate Aselton) on "The League". 

On a show in which everyone cursed enough to make a sailor blush, she had the foulest mouth of anyone, a habit her daughter picked up. But maybe the worst of her (many) transgressions was faking breast cancer to get out of a bake sale...without letting her daughter in on the ruse.

Bev Harris (Estelle Parsons) on "Roseanne" In the series' original run, she was an overbearing, crazy old lady. Now in the reboot, she's older and crazier, much like the show's star.


Missy Armitage (Catherine Keener) in Get Out (2017). She's such a gracious hostess, inviting her daughter's boyfriends to share a cup of tea...

Halley (Bria Vinaite) in The Florida Project (2017). Hey, it's not like she turned tricks in front of her daughter -- she sent the kid into the bathroom.
LaVona Golden (Allison Janney) in I, Tonya (2017). 

Sheesh, and you thought Mama Rose was a pushy stage mother. As far as we know, Rose never made June continue performing after she peed herself.

(For more examples of terrible movie and TV motherhood, be sure to check out my previous Mother's Day columns: 2017, 2016, 2015, 2014, 2013, 2012, and 2011.)