Halloween (1978): Now, Improved By Polka!

You know how it goes on The Slumgullion. What started off as a respectful, even adulatory discussion of John Carpenter's music career turned into something weird -- as our conversations tend to do -- and before you know it, words were exchanged, a challenge was laid down, and now, well...

I had no choice. I had to do it...!

Random Scenes of Hollywood

Pundits working the business beat are suggesting that McDonalds may be doomed, after suffering record-setting lows in customer satisfaction surveys and announcing the "closing [of] hundreds of locations this year". But perhaps the clearest indication that the once mighty fast food giant is in its last throes is the news that mascot Ronald McDonald has defected from McDonaldland to join the KISS Army.

Walking down Hollywood Boulevard last night, I was happy to see the shrine that sprouted up around David Bowie's star was going strong a week after his demise -- votive candles still alight, fresh flowers replacing wilted bouquets, touch-up dusting of glitter applied to the brass letters. Then two 12-year old boys decided to stop by and ruin it:

12-YEAR BOY OLD WHO WANTS TO SEEM COOL: (Craning his neck to read the name on the star) I knew it. It's David Bau-wee.

12-YEAR OLD BOY'S 12-YEAR OLD FRIEND: (Bored)  I don't know who that is.

Okay, you two little shits...! Crawl back into your mothers' wombs and bake until you're done this time.

And finally, for this week's Beast Blogging:

My friend PJ wrote a formal apology (with an explanation) for blowing a deadline last week, and used her two cats Belle and Willow to illustrate her many excuses, all of which I then turned into a video. Click and enjoy.

Happy Halloween!

This year, Moondoggie went as James Bond.  Riley wanted no part of it, but finally agreed to go as a Blofeld-like supervillain, because you know how one half of a couple will whine if the other half refuses to hold up their end of a theme costume.  Besides, it didn't require her to change.  Enjoy!
Happy Halloween, everyone.  So how are you spending the evening?

Time to Roll Out the Oscar Bait!

Riley and Moondoggie would like to thank everyone for the much appreciated help and well wishes during our recent cascade crises, by offering this exclusive look at their latest prestige project (which is sure to catch the eye of Academy voters during the upcoming Fall awards season).

Oh! I've Got a HORN!

The entire 2012 Presidential Election in condensed, evaporated form, courtesy of Mystery Science Theater 3000:

Mayor Mike - The Minions Edition

By Keith:

World O' Crap's Special New York Correspondent brings us a Miltonian piece on Mayor Mike's fall from The Man on a White Horse (granted, it was really more of a Shetland pony that had been spray flocked a cottony white using left over Christmas technology, and it made the horse kinda puffy and wooly, so Bloomie really looked more like The Man on a White Sheep -- nevertheless, he took a spill).

City Hall, November 2009, Office of Mike Bloomberg.

Chief of Staff: “Your Honor, I believe you’ll want to check your Daily Agenda.”

MB: “It’ll have to wait. I’m shorting a position here. Margin call, you know.”

COS: “Well, you have to announce a replacement for the School Board Chancellor. Mr. Klein is leaving at the end of the month.”

MB: “Where’s he going?”

COS: “To the Carlyle Group. Or Fox News, I forgot which, sir.”

MB: “Where’s Carly Fiorina? I thought we were doing a phone conference or something.”

COS: “Ms. Fiorina is unavailable. Something to do with negotiations with the Blackberry people.”

MB: “Well, who’s that other broad ... you know, the one at Hearst? The VP. Something black.”

COS: “That would be Ms. Cathie Black, sir. I’ll arrange an interview right away.”

MB: “Excellent. Whew! Who would think investing in pork bellies could be so volatile. And now I’ll have a cup of tea, and one of those nice cucumber sandwiches you promised me.”

COS: “Mr. Bloomberg, there were no cucumbers in the market his morning, sir. I went down twice.”

MB: “ No cucumbers!”

COS: “No sir, Not even for ready money.”

So ends one adventure with commodities, and begins another in the commoditization of public education in the nation’s largest school system.

Readers, may I introduce you to Ms. Cathie Black? She has no degree in education, or higher education, or anything that might involve education. So in this “special” situation, Ms. Black must require a “waiver” from the State of New York to overcome her deficient qualifications. The waiver comes with a rider --- she must be monitored by someone with at least a Masters Degree in Education. Or at least a high school cafeteria worker. Something.

Here’s Cathie:

Well, we know she has a fetish for “dog collars” or whatever costume jewelry strikes her fancy. Cathie didn’t last long after the “Sophie’s Choice” line, but the money-shot: “Can we have some birth-control here?” She lasted two weeks, perhaps three.

Ask Your Spin Doctor If ContagionEx Is Right For You

From the kitchens of Mark Fiore:

(via WO'C staffer Keith)