Sunday, March 28, 2021


HIM: Are…Are you all right, Elaine?

HER: Yes, Roger, everything’s fine now. While you were unconscious I talked it over with the zombies, and they’ve agreed to eat you instead of me, because better you than me.

HIM: What! But…I thought you loved me!

HER: And so will they, especially with this zesty dry rub I’ve applied to your breast and thighs.

Thursday, March 11, 2021

The Fourth Grade. Sorry, ESTATE. I mean Fourth Estate.


REPORTER: President Biden fulfilled a campaign promise today by signing the $1.9 billion American Rescue bill...

JEN PSAKI: Yes... REPORTER: But when's he gonna hold a formal press conference so we can get him on the record about Mr. Potato Head's cock, and why his dog is shit?

Tuesday, March 9, 2021

Strike Breaker? Or Fashion Risk Taker? You Decide!



In Business...and in Business Casual!

AP - SEATTLE: Displeased by the way workers denied bathroom breaks have turned to inelegant solutions like unions, or peeing into empty soda bottles at their work stations, Amazon founder Jeff Bezos has turned his visionary's mind to the problem, and introduced this new line of fashion-forward staff uniforms: the Septic Slacks!™

Each leg is lined with waterproof, non-permeable materials that can hold up to an entire day's worth of urine and feces, meaning the worker NEVER HAS TO LEAVE HIS OR HER ASSIGNED STATION. Each new set of Septic Slacks contains a personal note from Jeff Bezos to the buyer:

"If you work for me
You're free to be
Poopin' and peein'