But the Republican National Committee is turning up the tough love, and today they brought in Co-Chair Sharon Day:
30 years ago, President Ronald Reagan and Vice President George H.W. Bush were re-elected to the White House.
Some of our country’s best years followed that moment.
I have to agree, mostly because I got laid a lot in the mid-Eighties, although at the time I attributed that less to Reagan and Bush and more to Bartles & Jaymes.
I remember watching with optimism as Reagan and Bush honorably protected my freedoms and defended my conservative values.While I remember watching a lot of Airwolf. Frankly, I don't think either one of us has much to be proud about.
Together, President Reagan and Vice President Bush exemplified leadership.
They left a legacy of prosperity, opportunity and perseverance for Americans.
Oh, so that's what I stepped in. This all apparently predates the law that now requires political parties to carry plastic bags around to scoop up their Presidents' legacies.
So I am thrilled the RNC is taking the time this year to honor the legacy of Reagan and Bush by offering you a limited-edition vintage Reagan-Bush ’84 t-shirt.
Some say that an appeal to the senses -- such as the taste of a little piece of madeleine -- is the key to recollection, while others maintain that memory is best unlocked by novelty undershirts. Regardless, the remembrance of things past remains a profound experience, whether the author is Proust or Zazzle.
But while Sharon's lyrical nostalgia is charming, it's only the Good Cop warm-up for RNC Treasurer Tony Parker's Bad Cop act.
Did you abandon the Republican Party?
Chairman Priebus has written to you already this year asking you to contribute to the RNC and renew your membership. But we haven’t received your financial support yet this year.I'm sorry, I've just been distracted by how much "Chairman Priebus" sounds like one of those fake, science fictiony titles, like "Commando Cody" or "Padishah Emperor Shaddam" or "Judge Wapner".
Your past support has shown us that you believe in the Republican Party and the conservative principles we stand for.Given that my past support has consisted entirely of stealing the content of your emails and using it for my own nefarious purposes while giving you nothing in return, I believe that I've not only studied the principles you stand for, I've mastered them, and am now ready to leave the monastery and walk the earth like Kung Fu.
So we are giving you one more chance to renew your membership with the Republican National Committee.I completely believe that this is my last chance to give you money, just as you should totally believe that I've already mailed you a huge check.
Right now you are handing the advantage over to Democrats. That’s exactly what President Obama, Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid want you to do. With committed Republicans like you sitting out in 2014, the Democrats are able to continue their liberal rampage on conservative principles.I'm not sitting it out, I just don't want to shoot my wad too early, so I'm waiting until the "liberal rampage" is upgraded to a "socialist stampede." But don't worry -- I've set up a Google alert.
2014 is our last chance to step in, step upand shake it all about.
Don’t turn your back on the Republican PartyRelax, Tony. That's a lesson I learned a looong time ago.