Tales of the Unexpected:
Fred's Snowy Soliloquy
Oh, fer cryin' out -- will you look at this mess?
It's freakin' Nashville, dammit! This isn't supposed to
happen. A little dusting … maybe a couple of inches that melt away by midday …
sure, that I expect. But this?!?
What a revolting development.
I don't care if we Maine Coon Cats have thick belly fur and
all sorts of nifty adaptations for this kinda weather, this isn't Maine and it
still sucks dead baby bears – on toast! For one thing, I'll get ice
dingleberries on my underside and between my toes!
Maybe if I beseech the Cat Goddess, She'll make it go away.
What was that name again? “Vast” or “Blast” … something like that … aw, heck,
I'll just make it to “Hello Kitty” and see if that does the trick.
Hmm, nothing so far. Could be She's doing something really
important, like scratching around in the Heavenly Litter Box or sharpening Her
claws on the Sun God's furniture. Or maybe she got chased up a tree by that
jackal-headed guy.
Guess I'll do a little grooming while I wait.
I'm waiting …
If you ask me, these ancient Egyptian goddesses are wildly
over-rated. Hell with it. I'm going back inside and bug my incompetent humans.
It's probably all their fault, anyway.
