Vivienne Vyvanse Presents ... London Fashion
Week!
Hello
again. It's great to be back in St. John's Wood after that horrible episode
with NY Fashion Week and my nonfeasant, derelict sponsor (AARP). To keep things
moving along: I was run over by the M-15 downtown bus on Ninth Avenue outside
Lincoln Center. Well, my foot was run over. The bitches at Roosevelt Hospital
gave me a baggie full of Motrin and discharged me. I went back to my very
sub-standard hotel (the Milford Plaza at 45th and Eighth
Ave.) and after struggling to sleep, woke up to discover bed-bug bites on my
arms and ankles. Then asked the concierge the location of nearest public house.
That's all I can summon from memory.
After the press coverage of my
rescue from the industrial garbage bin (there was an abortion or something
wrapped in a blanket in there as well) I was quickly deported from the United
States. The detour through Bahgram, Afghanistan and the subsequent amputation
of three toes is of no concern here.
Because London is swinging again! And we're back to report it!
There
are several offerings for Spring/Summer 2013 any fashionista would be foolish
to ignore:
We
in London do have our share of surveillance cameras on every block so of course
we must present our very best in addition to protecting ourselves from whatever
else the security boffins have installed. It's no guess as to why
"Radio-Frequency-Insulated" millinery is making its comeback this
season with a vengeance.
Unless you go in for
"climate change denial" why not incorporate a bit of common sense
into your wardrobe for Spring/Summer 2013? This artful designer has achieved
the perfect symbiosis of elegance and protection from mosquito-borne diseases. My
understanding is that Neiman-Marcus (the Dallas, USA retailer) has put in a
requisition for several hundred of these.
Now if you do go out for that
special stroll and don't want to risk tripping over the netting here's another
option to consider. While the eyes may be the window to the soul, this fetching dress is the screen door to the crotch.
In closing, I must mention the most
frequently-discussed and most controversial style of the Spring/Summer 2013
season: "Infantile Regression!"
Tawdry Victorian streetwalker or nursery rhyme shepherdess? Now you can be both, with the Little Ho-Peep Collection!
And
remember always, if you must ask the price you can't afford it. Kiss-Kiss &
many Hugs,
Vivienne
9 comments:
the screen door to the crotch.
Snert!
~
Wow, those cosplay pageants at Comicon are getting more competitive every year.
Wait, what?
Good Lord, those are some scary looking human beings.
They are human, right?
Little Ho-Peep, hee hee, nice one.
Brilliant commentary, Viv. These pictures bear out my suspicions about the world fashion professionals inhabit, where the scheduled substances dangle from the tip of every twig.
The top one, though... Aside from the fact that I'm usually more symmetrical, I have a shot at that look. After all, I once walked into our local branch of Lord & Taylor (the shoe department, IIRC) in a torn Army surplus parka and wet fatigue pants heavily stained with compost. I did it with great elan.
Viv,
Thanks a million, dahling.
I couldn't make London this year (a thing in Myanmar)and needed to be kept au fait.
Maybe a teensy bit OTT but as always right on What The Street is Wearing.
Milan looks like it is going to be all D&G - so Retro.
We'll do gelatos there, dear.
Kisses. SuezB
Lil writes: The top one, though... Aside from the fact that I'm usually more symmetrical, I have a shot at that look. After all, I once walked into our local branch of Lord & Taylor (the shoe department, IIRC) in a torn Army surplus parka and wet fatigue pants heavily stained with compost. I did it with great elan.
Humph. Let's see you pull off wearing a Hefty Trash Bag with the same poise as the girl in the first photo does.
But it's especially the third photo that throws me; sixties movie "Creation of the Humanoids" comes to mind.
She's really creepy looking. Well, yes, they all are, but still.
Re third photo:
Actually, it's more Metropolis, and that really is creepy.
Chris Vee wonders if I could carry off the Hefty Trash Bag motif as well as the girl in Pic 1.
Could be. I think that my ensemble at Lord & Taylor, referenced above, may have included a really big, very dirty men's hanky sticking out of one parka pocket.
As to Photo 3 -- that little lady looks like she's been consuming nothing but thin gruel, crusts rejected by rats, and amphetamine for some weeks. Hope for her sake it's an illusion. The False Maria of "Metropolis" as I remember her anyway, had more vitality even when she was entirely metal.
Psst...
The M-15 runs along First and Second Avenues, not Ninth.
Post a Comment