Guys, we're delighted to bring you a new Special Correspondent today, the ever-divalicious Vivienne Vyvanse, who has deigned to cast a bit of second-hand limelight and slightly irregular glamour our way as she struts, pouts, and puts it out at the schmatta trade's biggest annual event:
At dusk, as I strolled past the hors d'ouvres and cocktails in Bryant Park (not to mention the riot squad protecting these treats from the indigenous "Occupiers") I realized: "Gee Vi, Fashion has become such a bore." One might conceive that by now we ought all be adorned in a "Jetson" family prêt-à-porter. Or perhaps wearing spray-on togs or something similar. So sad, the street scene seemed totally retro, like the 19-somethings. Ripped jeans, ripped tees, ripped shoes...ripped abs on the guy who casually snatched the cocktail weenie from my hand as he sashayed, quite satisfyingly, through the grounds.
Then, in a moment empty-mouthed and -handed, your correspondent had an Epiphantholic experience (my bad, darlings, check the next OED).
Even before I learned the technique of cutting fabric in such a way that it was impossible to repair, my "Jetson" leisure-line was rejected by Marks & Spencer. This was just the beginning. My exclusive line of "spray-on" casual-wear (developed thanks to a generous grant from E.I. du Pont de Nemours) didn't exactly capture the Zeitgeist in a sustainable manner to continue the crusade.
But every brave designer working this industry will agree: one must be open. And open. Always open. Open to the new -- the deep, wide & tall. So enough about Vivienne, and more about the first night of Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week.
One of the first and foremost trends noticed upon entering the white tent was "hair." Did you know hair-ironing is now back in vogue? Girls (& guys if your man enough) locate your Proctor-Silex ASAP. (The thing with the flat bottom with holes around the edge).
To be honest we all get on in years, so I cannot remember this celeb's name. I'm very sure she is not the young woman who portrayed the "Donna" character in That 70's Show).
I can't remember this name either. She didn't speak to me when I approached. But still evidence of more "chores for scores" on the Big Apple night-life circuit.
I must warn you -- always engage the "steam" option on the Black & Decker or Hamilton-Beach. Make sure moisture is properly distributed or you may end up like this unfortunate creature below: