Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Happy Birthday, Scott - I Got You a Cliff!

Yes, for a few more hours it is the birthday of Wo'C CEO and MVP,  Scott C.! 

As most of you can attest, Scott is one of the wittiest people on the Internet - fast with a quip, possessing a way with words like few others, and with an unrivaled knowledge of history, politics, and the wingiest nuts in existence.  And many of you also know that he is a caring, compassionate man: a guy who remembers birthdays,  helps those in need, and fights for the underdog and overcat.  And a good friend.  But did you know that he loves bad movies, MST3K, and old-timey stuff?  Okay, you did.  Fine.  Then here's Renew America's Cliff Kincaid with "Can marijuana fuel jihad?"  I am having problems with Blogger, so just pretend that the parts in quotation marks are indented. We join Cliff already in progress.

 "It may be too early to draw a direct connection between jihad, marijuana, and mass murder,"

No, it's never too early to say, "The Tsarnaev brothers were terrorists, they used marijuana, and so marijuana causes mass murder."  So, let's find some more examples to further your theory.

"We also have the case of Michael Brown, the black thug who was shot and killed in Ferguson, Missouri. An autopsy and toxicology report finds that he had marijuana in his system and had been a user for some time."

So, there you have it: having used marijuana at some time in the past causes the police to shoot you, and the wingnut press to label you a "black thug."  Although I wonder how many "white thugs" Cliff has written about.

"There is no hint of jihad here, only anti-police violence."

Yes, kids, it's Opposite Day!

 "But the role of marijuana in this violent confrontation deserves extensive coverage, not just a footnote. Trayvon Martin, the black juvenile delinquent shot and killed after he assaulted anti-crime activist George Zimmerman, also smoked marijuana regularly."

Cliff, if you're just going to say idiotic things in any effort to get attention, I have no more time for you!

So, on to the ceremonial sexy birthday lizard:

 And because Scott birthday is extra-special, here's the sexy Ann Coulter birthday lizard:

Now, won't you all join me in wishing Scott the happiest of birthdays!


M. Bouffant said...

Happy almost belated Birthday, Mr. C., & thanks again for all the support over the yrs. (Yrs.? How'd that happen?)

grouchomarxist said...

Happy birthday to Scott, wordsmith extraordinaire, sparkling wit, and generous provider of blog space to loquacious newcomers. For his merciless skewering of wingnuttery, and for doing the cinema merde voodoo that he do so well. I'll always regret that it took me so long to stumble across this marvelous collection of like-minded weirdos.

Ivan G Shreve Jr said...

Scott, I had every intention of writing something devastatingly witty at TDOY to commemorate your natal anniversary. Unfortunately, a RS deadline stood defiantly in my way, uttering in a guttural fashion "None shall pass..." But it's just as well that I made no progress, because after reading this fine tribute my words would have seemed positively shabby. For Scott is someone whom I've always personally admired, perhaps more deeply, more strongly, more abjectly than ever before. A man…well, more than a man, a god…a great god, whose personality is so totally and utterly wonderful my feeble words of praise sound wretchedly and pathetically inadequate. Someone whose boots I would gladly lick clean until holes wore through my tongue…a man who is so totally and utterly wonderful, that I would rather be sealed in a pit of my own filth, than dare traffic on the same blog as him. I hope you had a splendiferous birthday, Scott my brother—I am proud to call you friend.

Anonymous said...

ANNTI sez...

As always, a day late and a few billion dollars short, but at least I found you a cool (FREE) birfday prezzie, or at least a place-holder for when I can FINALLY get caught-up on the FOUR YEARS' WORTH OF BIRFDAY PREZZIES THAT I OWE **EVERYBODY**!!!!!!

This guy wins the prize for COOLEST. HALLOWEEN. DAD. FUCKING. ***EVER***. !!!!!!.


Hope that you enjoy them as much as I did --- and that your birfday was somehow, some way, *totally* fucking FREE of EVERY POSSIBLE PICTURE OF "MAMA JUNE," THE FIVE-HUNDRED-POUND SOULLESS WHORE/SUCKER-OF-SATAN'S-COCK/BIGGEST-PIECE-OF-SHIT-THAT-DIDN'T-COME-OUT-OF-RUSH-FATFUCK-LIMBAUGH, child-pimping (LITERALLY!!!) piece-of-shit so-called "mother" of "Honey Boo-Boo"!!!!!!

If I just inadvertently inserted that behemoth beast's bastard of a visage into your skull, Scott, I am deeply & terribly sorry. Same for y'all, Sheri & Mary.

But the rest of you fuckers are on your own!!! BWUUAAAHAHAAHAAHAAHAHAHAHAAA!!!!!!

Great birfday post, S.Z., so glad to see you back home!!!

And, of course, Scott, no birfday would be complete without this'un:



Anonymous said...

goat-fucking mother-humping sonofabitchin' HTML can suck a fart outta my ass!!!!!!




"Prove you're not a robot" entry?

"1600" !!!!!!

Fucking Google is even privacy-invading stalking THE PRESIDENT!!!!!!

(Sheeyutt, I thought that they'd made those six blocks of Pennsylvania Avenue into a "PEDESTRIAN MALL," like when they RUINED fucking BROADWAY!!!)

Anonymous said...


Leave it to S.Z. to post the first SBL THREE-WAY!!!

...heh heh heh... tsk, tsk, tsk, you dirty ol' woman... heh heh heh...

Chris Vosburg said...

Yeah, what Ivan sez.

Happy Birthday, Scott, and may you keep bringin' the crap!

Pere Ubu said...

Many happy returns, Scott, and don't forget to pass on the doob on your special day or you'll march off to join ISIS.

Cliff said it - how could he possibly be wrong?

Dr.BDH said...

Happy Birthday, Scott!

And not to diminish the importance of celebrating Scott's natal day, but good to see you posting s.z.! Love the lizard men (that's Hannity to the left and O'Reilly on the right, correct?)

Doc Logan said...

Happy birthday to Scott, a man so distinguished he rates an SBL gangbang.

Oh, and s.z.? So good to see you!

Kathy said...

Happy birthday Scott! Amazing how many wonderful people are October babies! Also, August!

Weird Dave said...

What Annti said.

Oh, and doesn't hashish and assassin have the same root? Q.E.D.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Happy Happy, Scott!

Jim Donahue said...

Best wishes on your b-day, Scott!

gappy said...

Regretfully I'm neither witty or pithy so sincere will have to do. Happy birthday Scott!


Nadine said...

Yikes! Don't tell me I missed it! The happiest of birthdays to you, Scott, and may the coming year be filled with laughter, love, cat happiness and a back that works.

Lots of birthday love from...

~The Minx~

Li'l Innocent said...

Good gravy, Scott, it was your birthday! I am covered with rue for having missed it! This is terrible, I should be drummed out of the Troop, my badge sash torn from my miserable frame, my Party membership card torn up before my eyes! Can you forgive, can you forget? Will you accept Skillions of Happy Returns from such a scurvy lowlife and thoughtless boor? O the shame.

Sob! Sniffle!

Carl said...

Can marijuana fuel jihad?

Only on a bag of Doritos.

Oh...and happy birthday, Scott! Belated, but sincere.

That might be my epitaph.

Anonymous said...

ANNTI sez...

Far be it from me to speak for Scott or anybody else, my dear darlin' Li'l Innocent One, but I sincerely doubt that Scott, Sheri, Mary, or Moondoggie would EVER consider you anything even REMOTELY resembling "a scurvy lowlife and thoughtless boor" !!!!!!

Hey, I've fucked-up YOUR birfday this year, last year, prolly FOR-FUCKING-**EVER**, and you still speak to ME, so trust me, if you can be forgiving enough to tolerate MY asinine & fucktarded behavior, as have so many other wunnerful, unbelievably kind & caring & loving & deeply-disturbed-wicked-pissah-funny-as-all-fucking-get-out --- I feel sure that Scott, our kinda co-pastor of teh Cult O'Crap, has the bounteous kindness & generosity in his heart to forgive you for merely being LATE wif your birfday wishes. Double-dutch ditto for The Great & Grouchy Gappy!!!

Carl, though... as fucking usual, Carl, YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN!!!

Karma is always WAY TOO SLOW, dammit, but sometimes, I can't help myself, I just HAVE to give it a nudge... hee hee hee... Aw, shaddup, you KNOW that you love it, ya sick bastid!!!


Li'l Innocent said...

Annti, sweetie, you are indeed sweet and salty and entirely unfucktarded -- and you couldn't possibly have messed up on MY birthday, because (unless that alternate personality thing kicked in at some point while I thought I was taking a nap or imbibing some Brit mystery on the teevee) I've never mentioned my birth date.

Oh, alright. It's Nov. 5th. If this were the UK, I'd be in clover and up to my neck in fireworks every year, but I guess we all have to pay a Karmic due or 2 for being USA-ans.

Scott said...

November 5th, eh? Hmmm...

Anonymous said...

ANNTI sez...

Heh heh heh... well hell, if I'd known that your birfday was on such a celebrated date, I'd have dragged my weary ol' ass out to the post-Halloween clearance sales to pick up a Guy Fawkes mask for your birfday, sweetheart! Ever since "V For Vendetta," they've become almost a hipster FETISH here in the states... but fuck teh hipster fetuses sideways with a rusty bicycle --- in tribute to you, even without Parliament-exploding fireworks, THAT'D be one opportune time to raise some severe hell & light-up the skies!!!

At any rate, HAPPY BIRFDAY TO YOU, a few days early, and I won't even inflict the Happy-Happy Joy-Joy song on you, unless you're feeling ESPECIALLY masochistic this year, sweet one... Can't promise you a fabulous prezzie, but I do wish you all of the best things in the world, a winning Powerball ticket, a lifetime supply of full-body massages, a house-full of loving four-legged chirrens, and every good & glamorous thing that you've ever needed and/or wanted!

Love you!
Happy Birfday!!

Li'l Innocent said...

Aw, Annti J, you're so cool, such an ace, and if I ever play Powerball and win, you get a hefty percentage, my word of honor on it! Thanks for all those superfine wishes, babe.

Believe it or not, I've never seen V for Vendetta, which my film-historian sister rates as excellent. Maybe we'll hunt it up somewhere on the world wide ether tomorrow, to keep our heads from exploding as the midterm returns come in. Anybody know who's live-blogging the election? We only use on-demand streaming teevees. I can't decide if I'm hopeful or tearing my hair out...

(If that reprehensible Joni Ernst entity gets in, it may turn out to be gunpowder time after all.)

Anonymous said...

ANNTI sez...

Could be worse, darlin' --- you could be tormented by the gnarled-dead-tree face/dead-black-button-eyed scarecrow/soulless stare of Bill Cassidy on EVERY. SINGLE. FUCKING. COMMERCIAL. BREAK. Talk about teh fucking NIGHTMARES of the mid-terms... and that Mary fucking LANDRIEU, who is no more like her daddy "Moon" than her brother teh Mayor is (talk about "DINO"s!!) --- THAT is all the "choice" that we have to vote "for" down here. Another thing about the alleged "doctor" (HA!) Cassidy --- for someone with THAT much money, that many wealthy contributors, you'd THINK that he'd have better teeth THAN ME!!


And *yes,* you simply MUST watch "V For Vendetta," it'll make you feel like REALLY going for the gunpowder, especially for those of us who've been waiting ALL OF OUR LIVES for the fucking revolution TO FINALLY FUCKING ***START***!!!!!!