But then s.z. very kindly wrote her own version of those pop quizzes for which Facebook is so justly famous (you know the ones -- Which Cowsill Are You?, or How Well Do You Really Know Larry Hovis?) and I figured taking it would be a lot more fun than reading Pat Buchanan's syndicated column demanding lebensraum for his jowls.
How Smart Are You?
Take this quiz and find out. Most of your friends will only get 1-2 answers right. Albert Einstein only got 6 questions right. How will you do?
1. YOU are the bus driver. 3 passengers get on. 1 gets off. 4 more get on. 5 get off. Now answer quickly: the wheels on the bus go round and -------?
2. Which is not one of the 50 states in the United States of America?
a. North Dakota
b. West Virginia
c. New Mexico
d. Home Depot
3. If two's company and three's a crowd, what are four and five?
4. On the TV show "19 Kids and Counting," what were they counting?
a. Fingers and toes
b. Sweet reality show money
c. Criminal offenses and sins
5. "I" before "E" except after
d. An archbishop or baronet
6. In poker, the only hand that beats a straight flush is:
a. Four of a kind
b. A royal flush
c. A full house
d. A Fuller House, starring the original cast except for the Olsen twins, who are dead or something
7. Presidential candidate Donald Trump is the incumbant senator from:
a. East Virginia
c. Shutter Island
d. None of the above
e. Just Another Brick in the Wall
8. There was a farmer had a dog and _____ was his name-o.
b. B-i-n-g clap
c. B-i-n clap clap
d. Bing search engine, which is every bit as good as Google.
9. I'm thinking of a number.
b. It's three
10. Energy equals mass multiplied by:
a. The speed of light squared
b. Four-Hour Energy drink
c. A threat from your boss
Please tally up your score and let us know how you did in the comments. If you didn't do well, make up your own questions and put those in the comments, and then when we can't answer them, we'll be the ones who look like morons.
And now...time for dessert! Bill was good enough to not only message me with beefcake suggestions, but even suggest a theme -- O! Canada!, in honor of the state visit by Canadian Prime Minister Trudeau the Younger and Hotter. So as requested, here's Maple Leafer Ryan Reynolds...
Hey, girl. How do you like my segmented thorax?
The Minx didn't submit a request this year, so I'm going to default, as is my wont, to Golden Age Hollywood, and offer up this lovely portrait of a young Loretta Young...
Um, sir? I don't mean to get personal, but your pants appear to have exploded...
All right, put on your party hats, 'cause we're bringin' out the cake...!
Please join me in wishing The Minx and Bill S. (or Bill S! as he is legally known on this date) a very happy natal anniversary. And now...enjoy our traditional...
Sexy Birthday Lizard!