World O' Crap's Special New York Correspondent brings us a Miltonian piece on Mayor Mike's fall from The Man on a White Horse (granted, it was really more of a Shetland pony that had been spray flocked a cottony white using left over Christmas technology, and it made the horse kinda puffy and wooly, so Bloomie really looked more like The Man on a White Sheep -- nevertheless, he took a spill).
City Hall, November 2009, Office of Mike Bloomberg.
Chief of Staff: “Your Honor, I believe you’ll want to check your Daily Agenda.”
MB: “It’ll have to wait. I’m shorting a position here. Margin call, you know.”
COS: “Well, you have to announce a replacement for the School Board Chancellor. Mr. Klein is leaving at the end of the month.”
MB: “Where’s he going?”
COS: “To the Carlyle Group. Or Fox News, I forgot which, sir.”
MB: “Where’s Carly Fiorina? I thought we were doing a phone conference or something.”
COS: “Ms. Fiorina is unavailable. Something to do with negotiations with the Blackberry people.”
MB: “Well, who’s that other broad ... you know, the one at Hearst? The VP. Something black.”
COS: “That would be Ms. Cathie Black, sir. I’ll arrange an interview right away.”
MB: “Excellent. Whew! Who would think investing in pork bellies could be so volatile. And now I’ll have a cup of tea, and one of those nice cucumber sandwiches you promised me.”
COS: “Mr. Bloomberg, there were no cucumbers in the market his morning, sir. I went down twice.”
MB: “ No cucumbers!”
COS: “No sir, Not even for ready money.”
So ends one adventure with commodities, and begins another in the commoditization of public education in the nation’s largest school system.
Readers, may I introduce you to Ms. Cathie Black? She has no degree in education, or higher education, or anything that might involve education. So in this “special” situation, Ms. Black must require a “waiver” from the State of New York to overcome her deficient qualifications. The waiver comes with a rider --- she must be monitored by someone with at least a Masters Degree in Education. Or at least a high school cafeteria worker. Something.
Well, we know she has a fetish for “dog collars” or whatever costume jewelry strikes her fancy. Cathie didn’t last long after the “Sophie’s Choice” line, but the money-shot: “Can we have some birth-control here?” She lasted two weeks, perhaps three.