Thursday, October 3, 2013

Make It Look Good For The Camera, Kids

The test results came back, and it seems that Riley has a severely malfunctioning thyroid.  She may have other problems associated with aging, but then you could say the same thing about me, and nobody's wrapping me in a towel and cramming a pill down my throat twice a day, so I think we can all agree that I win.
The clearest indication that Riley isn't feeling her best is that she's putting up with Moondoggie hand-holding her.

So the vet has put her on medication (which she'll have to be on for the rest of her life); fortunately, she's not an overly combative pill-taker, and seems to regard it as something between an inconvenience and a deadly affront to her dignity, which can and must be assuaged with a handful of Whiskas Temptations MixUps .  So we'll see how it goes.  If she doesn't improve, we'll take her back in for more tests, but we're hoping she'll be spared that.

And just to prove I have my priorities straight: Mary is also on the mend!

We'll have more to say this weekend (including, if all goes well, a new Special Comment from the Cats), but I just wanted to take this opportunity to thank you guys for coming to our aid.  I've tried to email everyone individually, but I've gotten a few Mailer Daemons (my own fault for carelessly using my Ouija board to summon the vengeful spirits of deceased postal workers -- I've got to find a new hobby), so if you haven't heard back from me, please know how much we appreciate your help.  You may have literally saved our lives (well, not mine, but that was on mark-down anyway, so it's more of an everyday savings).
MOONDOGGIE:  ♬ Lean on me, when you're not strong...♬ (Pssst!  Keep it up! We might go viral, like those otters!)  ♬And I'll be your friend, I'll help you carry on...♬


Doc Logan said...


Happy I could help, in my small way.

Carl said...

Scott, I had a cat who also had thyroid problems. He lived seven years after his diagnosis and was healthy and happy right up until very near the end.

Seven years. 2550 days. 5100 pillings. 276 clawed wrists. 114 thrown up pills crammed back into his little maw, clamping hands around his jaw until the pill dissolved.

5100 cuddles because who knew when the last pill would come.

I miss that little sick bastard.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Good to see the household is on the mend.

acrannymint said...

try greenies pill pockets.

TM said...


You might ask your vet about a transdermal thyroid medication that is applied to the skin inside the ear. My cat Emily was on it for several years before passing on earlier this year at age 21.

Glad to see Riley is on the road to recovery.

Kathy said...

I had so much practice stuffing pills down my beloved "Black Cat's" throat, he didn't even flee when he saw me opening the pill bottle. Just look resigned.

My brother had a trick using peanut butter to make the medicine go down.

I'm very glad Riley's problem is treatable.

D. Sidhe said...

My thyroidal freak gets pills twice a day, though about once a week she manages to spit it out in such a way that I don't find it until much later. The vet told me that with younger cats they implant a radioactive thingie into them to fix it. My partner was briefly taken by the notion of HulkIala, but, yeah, she handles pills pretty well, so I just do that. She's been levelling out weight-wise and back to her usual happy chewing on people.

Glad Mary's feeling better. TMJ sucks. (Or not, it's why I stopped giving blowjobs, as if that wasn't way TMI.)

Anyway, hopefully you've used up your bad luck for most of next year, too.

Li'l Innocent said...

Yay, improving health!!!

Does Mary have any tension-reducing tricks to ward off the TMJ? There are probably some good Yoga-based ones, for instance. Of course absolute best would be lolling around on the furniture holding hands with her fave fellow human (I think we know who that Might Be) for several hours daily, but alas, such is not the lot of job-holding anthropoids.

Li'l Innocent said...

Also besides, those kitty pics are very touching.

Weird Dave said...

This is good news.

grouchomarxist said...

This is one of those times when I wish I hadn't been right. Still, I imagine it's better than liver disease. And veterinary science has obviously come a long way since we had our hyperthyroid kitty back in the mid-80s.

I second acrannymint's recommendation. We used the Greenies pill pockets with our old fellow for several years. (He had renal failure, requiring special food and a pill every morning.) Much easier and less stressful for the cat -- if they don't get smart and realize they can just nibble the pocket off and leave the nasty pill center. Like our dog did.

Fortunately, the pill we had to give Puck was pretty small and we used two of the pockets to really hide it. So he rarely gave us any trouble with it. A bribe after Riley downs her pill sounds like a good idea, too.

Glad to hear you bipeds are doing better, too.

Stacia said...

So glad to hear everyone is on the mend! I've been waaaay out of the loop, and I'm terribly sorry for missing everything that's happened the last couple of weeks.

Try pill poppers, also occasionally called "pill guns" because we live in America, as you well know. I could not have survived medicating a series of increasingly stubborn cats without one of those babies. Still, even my dumbest cat is able to fake swallowing a pill so he can chuck it up in private, moments later.

Anonymous said...

SO glad to hear Mary is feeling more healthy.And the inestimable Riley, of course.
I second Stacia's suggestion about the pill shooter. Worked on Smudge who is sweet natured and wouldn't dream of scratching or fighting back against pills but is stubborn about never letting me put things in her mouth against her will.
Cats will be cats.Stay well, all of yez.

Anntichrist S. Coulter said...

Ditto to all of the joy & relief for Mary & Riley, obviously, even if it's a week late. I've never seen a bolus gun for a cat before, so that's gotta be REALLY COOL to see --- pictures are always appreciated! --- but, I have to say, as much as he bitches & moans about it, that if I give James his daily treats (2 kinds of treats before the pill, 1 kind as a chaser to get the taste out of his mouth), that he not only comes TO ME at Medicine Time (2X per day), he lies almost still across my lap for the torment. I break his pills (1 prednisone, one vaso-dilator) up into teeny-tiny pieces that he can swallow easily (being a 3-year-old cat with the body of a 6-month-old), he lets me pry his mouth open, and I just dump 'em down his gullet. Rub the throat, he swallows (ONE porno joke and somebody gets hurt!), a really grotesque belch-from-hell, and then he hops down and then allows me to give His Majesty that chaser treat. What can I say? I get damned lucky when it comes to brilliant cats. I know that y'all spoil Riley & Moondoggie as much or moreso than I do James --- but if Herself can resign herself to the nasty pills & the resultant treats like James has, should be pretty routine before long. I hope. One other tip that I learned from Cat Haven folk: shredded cheese, like for tacos, wrapped around the pill and squished-together into a semi-"solid" single piece, if the kitteh's throat is big enough to do the doggie-speed chomp-swallow. None of my cats have ever gone for the pill-pocket treats --- dunno if it's the size, shape, or obviousness of 'em, but they look at a pill pocket, look at me, and sigh like they should've dropped me off at Hammond State (speshul) School. If Riley's not a cheese freak like James is, I've been told that some kittehs like a spoonful of peanut butter (never heard of a CAT with a food allergy, except of course for the liver damage of chocolate), some like Jell-O, and of course, there's always those fancy-schmancy single-serve canned foods like Fancy Feast and the one now advertised by the Texican "Housewife" (of desperation, not "reality programming," but her name always eludes me, prolly 'cause I fucking DESPISED that show...) --- Sheba? Something like that. James' favorite treat-food is the salmon with the cheesy chunks in it, though the "breakfast" (?!?!) canned food with the nasty-runny eggs is a big hit, too.

Mostly, I've found that the best way to get the medicine into the cat is to BREAK THE PILL UP INTO TEENY-TINY PIECES. At least that way instead of losing the WHOLE pill to spitting/sneaky-shit tactics/etc., at least MOST of the medicine actually GETS INTO THE CAT.

(Truncated! Continued...)

Anntichrist S. Coulter said...


I used to try to hide the tiny pieces in James' canned food, his big treat for supper every night/morning, but that little fucker would rip through the whole serving and then PING! PING! PING! spit out every last piece of pill. Smartass. I tried putting the pill-pieces into water or chicken broth and shooting them slowly down his throat with a medicine dropper, but that made him SO claustrophobic, he thought that he was DROWNING and that I was trying to WATERBOARD HIM. Seriously. If he so much as glances a medicine dropper, he disappears for HOURS. Thusly we've finally gotten to a routine that we can both handle, even though my half-numb fingers/uncontrollable hands don't always co-operate, I generally get 90-95% of the meds into James.

It's all about negotiation. Y'all have been with Riley for many a moon, y'all can probably read her brain, even if it's written in Cyrillic or old Gaelic. You know what she likes, what she'll tolerate, and what will cost you an important appendage. Last wacky concept: James is an occasional fan of (and fuck no, I don't get a fucking thing out of plugging anybody, I just know what I like and what WORKS, so I'm specific. And when in New Orleans and craving a tattoo, ALWAYS go see Jacci @ AART ACCENTS! SHE created The Tater Tat!) the misnomered "New Orleans Famous SNO-BALLS TO GO!", generally in the red flavors (yes, health nuts, in SMALL quantities, because the red dye is not a good thing for kittehs IN LARGE QUANTITIES like Kool-Aid, DUH, I already knew that) like Cherry (my favorite), Strawberry & Berry Berry Pink. And if you're nowhere near South Louisiana, you can go to the website and have 'em DELIVERED! Hell yes, it's overpriced as fuck, and you can't get ALL of the flavors, but keep bitching at them --- IT WORKS! I nagged 'em 3 times about not being able to find them IN ACTUAL NEW ORLEANS ("da sout' shaw"), and whattayaknow, I CAN GET 'EM WHENEVER I WANT now, whenever I can swing it. Higher @ Winn-Dixie than convenience stores (I know, WEIRD, right?), but still worth it if you don't have time to hit the corner store after makin' groceries. Same principle as peanut butter or jelly or Jell-O, etc. --- tiny pieces that start dissolving-into the medium, let Riley lap it up, and happy-happy all-around! She's prolly never had a snowball, so you might do better with ice cream, but it's worth a shot, huh? Hope that I can help --- and that I finally find that damned money order for y'all! Never lost a money order in my LIFE, so of COURSE when it means THE MOST, I fuck it up.

Love y'all!