I write this not to professional homosexuals.Because Bam Bam is a former boxer, and the last thing he needs is trouble with the AAU. (Personally, I grew up thinking homosexuality was just a sexual orientation, only realizing it was a potentially lucrative career path when I attended the Senior Class Job Fair in the high school gymnasium, and noticed the "It Pays to Be Gay!" presentation, with its artfully fanned four-color brochures and tasteful booth done up in a palette of muted pastels...)
That is to say, not to members of the well-funded, politically powerful homosexual activist lobby.It's a sweet gig, with the sole exception that before going down on a sex partner, the powerful homosexual activist lobbyist is legally obliged to announce, "This sodomy is brought to you by a grant from the Mobil Corporation."
They will mock and reject my words outright.Unless we beat them to it.
They will twist and misrepresent what I say to further their own socio-political agenda. That's fine. It's to be expected. It merits little more than a yawn and an eye roll.You need to do something really unexpected if you want Bam Bam to add in his coveted "two snaps up."
Instead, I write this to my fellow travelers in life — average, ordinary people, male and female, young and old — who happen to call themselves "gay." I write this out of obedience to God....who has been sending Matt special messages that can only be read using a Liberty University Secret Decoder Ring, and which command him to "Harass More Homosexuals and Drink More Ovaltine."
It is my hope and prayer that you will consider what I have to say and take it at face value. My intentions are pure and my motives upright.Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood...
If I can plant the seed of truth in just one person, and that seed begins to sprout, then I consider this letter a success.Apparently, Bam Bam and the other dudes in the American Family Radio studios were bullshitting during the break, and somewhere between the commercials for mail order gold bullion, crisis seed banks, and tickets for the Yakov Smirnoff Dinner Theater's innovative, fast-casual matinee dining concept, Lunch with Greg Brady ("Barry is very pleased to bring all of his talents together along with his live five piece band and his new multi-media show A BRADY LUNCH at the Yakov Theatre, specially created for Branson audiences. Barry will not only entertain you but touch your heart." -- but hopefully not your club sandwich or pudding cup -- "A Brady Lunch is truly up close and personal with Barry Williams"), somewhere between all that, Matt apparently bet his engineer that he could impregnate a lesbian.
I pray that you are that person."Lipstick Lesbians preferred. May consider Soft Butch if tattoos are minimal. Diesel Dykes need not apply."
What I write may offend you. It may even infuriate you.It will certainly bore you.
But I hope it makes you think.It makes me I should check the bathroom grout for mildew.
Know this: Your friends have lied to you. Christians do not hate you. We love you intensely.Is that boiled rabbit I'm smelling...?
We love you because of who you are, not because of what you do or because of who you think you are.I just think things are moving a little too fast, here, Matt...
Still, to love someone and to lie to them is to hate them — especially when that lie inevitably leads to a tragic and hopeless end.Oh oh -- that sounds disturbingly like a song cue. I'd advise you to leave now, before the lights dim, Bam Bam props up a photo of an Amateur Homosexual and warbles "You Made Me Love You (I Didn't Want to Do It"), just like Judy Garland did to Clark Gable's headshot in Broadway Melody of 1938.
If you have a loved one, blindfolded and running full speed toward cliff's edge, do you not yell, stop!It depends. Are they still offering that $100,000 prize on America's Funniest Home Videos?
Would you not run after them, even tackling them if need be to prevent them from plummeting to certain death?And would that not be your explanation to the West Hollywood Sheriff's Department deputies when they asked why you were spending your Saturday night tackling men outside Mother Lode?
What would we think of the person who said: "Keep running; all is well."We'd think they were related to Jim Fixx, and probably a beneficiary.
All is not well, and you know it."Not a single lesbian has answered my ad!"
On this path, "it" decidedly does not "get better."Amazingly, though, this "column" does manage to "get stupider."
It only gets worse. You will fall and you will die — perhaps not physical death, straight away — but certainly, an emotional and spiritual death.I remember when I was about 9 or 10, I was racing my next door neighbor Todd Pickett to the bus stop before school when I tripped on the curb and fell so hard I tore the knees of my jeans and badly skinned my soul.
Homosexual activists, "progressives," Hollywood, the media, academia and popular culture are telling you to keep running.They don't care about your spiritual health. They just care that you have sufficient stamina to make it through an all-night orgy with the cross-country team.
I'm yelling, stop!And maybe you should, seeing as how Bam Bam isn't in the greatest shape, and he's starting to wheeze.
Your lifestyle — homosexuality — is always and forever, objectively and demonstrably wrong.And if Bam Bam just happened to be caught in a motel near the airport with a twink, he could say, with all sincerity, that he simply needed a test subject to objectively demonstrate, using geometric logic, that the homosexual lifestyle is wrong. Also, it was the hustler who stole the strawberries, and hid them in Bam Bam's ass.
Anyway, Pro-Am Homos, at least try another lifestyle. Like Obsessive-Compulsive Pecksniffery. Bam Bam is available to mentor you.
It is never good, natural, right or praiseworthy.Y'know, Bam Bam, I take the laissez-faire approach that anything two consenting adults decide to do in a sexual way is fine, so this is really more of an aesthetic than a moral judgment, but I doubt anything your sweaty carcass gets up to in the bedroom could be described as "praiseworthy."
If you have "gay pride," you have "sin pride."And it's important to show your sin pride this Saturday by wearing your rainbow t-shirt for the big game against Gluttony.
But this reality is manifest beyond the pages of Scripture. Unnatural behaviors beget natural consequences. So-called "homophobia" is not responsible for the fact that, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, one-in-five "gay" men and adolescents in major cities across America have been infected — through bad behavior — with HIV/AIDS.Usually, when the detective reveals the murderer at the end, it's a bit more surprising and dramatic. Is it too late to fire Bam Bam and get William Powell for this role?
Sin is responsible.
In almost every category — disease, depression, drug and alcohol abuse, and suicide — those who call themselves "gay" live and die with consequences that have nothing gay, in the true sense of the word, about them.It -- it is. I've had cancer and frequent bouts of depression; never really abused drugs or alcohol, but I did attempt suicide as a teenager. You're right -- this is me!
Is this you? Be honest.
Oh wait -- I'm not gay. Crap! I hope I haven't thrown off the grading curve.
Scripture admonishes: "For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Romans 6:23). This does not simply mean physical death, but something far worse: spiritual death.So every gay person goes to hell? The club scene down there must be sick.
I know from which I speak.Well, that's a refreshing change.
I am no better than you. I, too, once lived a lifestyle of sexual sin.Your torrid affair with a tube sock doesn't count.
Not homosexual sin, but sexual sin nonetheless. As a young man I did not treat God's daughters as He intended and, instead, engaged in a lifestyle of selfish womanizing and fornication."It's true, I fornicated and womanized the hell out of those women. Uh, you wouldn't know them -- they're from Canada."
The wages of sin in my life was death — spiritual and emotional death. I was on your same path.I'll pull over -- feel free to pass.
Still, Christ's gift to me was forgiveness, redemption and life everlasting. My friend, that gift is available to you as well.Um...Insert Comment Here.
Snatch it up. Please.
During the Awakening 2011 — a national conference held, that year, at Liberty University — I was visiting with a young woman from the hard-left Southern Poverty Law Center (SPLC). I liked her. I loved her, in fact, in the way her heavenly Father, Christ Jesus, loves her and has enabled me to love her. I think of her and pray for her often."Every time I look at the restraining order. "
In recent years, the SPLC has taken to smearing Christian organizations that defend the biblical sexual ethic as "hate groups." After visiting for a while, I asked this young woman if she really believed that we Christians hate homosexuals. To my surprise she admitted that we do not. "But the things you say are sometimes hateful," she added.I always enjoy it when a wingnut channels The Sphinx from Mystery Men:
Indeed, truth is hate to those who hate truth.
The truth is that you have immeasurable value. You are a beautiful, unique, priceless human being. The very Creator of the universe, in the person of Jesus Christ, took such an interest in you that He meticulously wove you together in your mother's womb. He loves you with a love that no human can fully grasp. Still, this is true not because of your so-called "sexual orientation," but, rather, in spite of it.
If Jesus loves you but hates your sexual orientation (sorry, "sexual orientation") maybe he should stop mixing in the gay yarn when he's knitting fetuses.
You are valuable and worthy of love because God created you in His image. If you define your identity based upon sexual temptations and behaviors your Creator has called sin — an "abomination" — then you are not fulfilling the purpose for which He created you. In so doing, you have become the sum total of your sins.I've known quite a few gay folks, but whenever I encounter someone who defines a person's identity solely based upon their sexual orientation, it's invariably a straight dude like Bam Bam. Or, sorry, "straight" dude.
You are in rebellion against God and you know it.♬ If you're in rebellion and you know it, clap your hands! ♫ Everybody!
He made you to know it.Well, that seems like a design flaw. I think Jesus needs to head back to the Yarn Barn for some fresh knitting patterns.
Yes, the activists tell you to take "pride" in your "sexual orientation," but you don't feel pride. You feel ashamed, and so you try, in vain, to numb the shame with more of the very behavior that causes it. You will never fill the void you feel with drugs, alcohol or more sexual acting-out. These things only expand your emptiness.I would never accuse Matt of projecting, but for some reason this paragraph reminds me of a chunk of extruded plastic I owned as a child...
Christ alone can fill the void.That sounds like a threat. Or an action movie tagline. "Feeling hollow? How 'bout I fill that void... (COCKS GUN)...with a bullet!"
And He will.