Thursday, October 11, 2012

Happy Birthday, Anntichrist S. Coulter!

It's a big, big week for our dear friend Joanna.  First, she's secured a new apartment after a protracted period of homelessness, and now she's having a birthday.  The latter, of course, can and will happen even if you're homeless, but it's much easier to pull off if you do have a roof over your head, because that reduces the chance that someone will leave the cake out in the rain.

Unfortunately, all I was able to get her this year was the flu (but it's a pretty good strain, and I'm more than willing to share it), which is making it difficult to sit upright at the computer (and all but impossible to face the Usual Suspects from the right blogosphere).  So in lieu of a virus, here's a couple pictures of pretty people whose beauty is only enhanced by the fact that they are not presently retching into a wastebasket.
Terry Crews, ripped to perfection and basted with a light glaze of Awesome Sauce.
Charlize Theron, from what appears to be the Aeon Flux eon, but don't let that harsh your bum-oriented buzz.  Drink in that rump; after all, it's more interesting than the pegboard behind her, and someone did go to all the trouble of putting a key light on it.   Also, please join me in wishing Annti a very happy birthday and imminent housewarming.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm taking my soda crackers and flat 7-Up and going back to bed.


Carl said...

Happy birthday, Annti! I'm glad this will be a happier one for you than you thought.

Bill S said...

Have a Most Excellent Birthday, Annti!

Kathy said...

Happy birthday Annti! May your new flat soon have running water! I shall scour Consumer Reports for the best weed-wackers for you!

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

And I hope you have a happy next trip around the sun, Annti!

Chris Vosburg said...

Happy Birthday, Annti, and I hope you're settling well into the new digs (this time with heels firmly dug in!).

Anonymous said...

Happy, happy birthday, hon.
I am SO pleased you have a Little Place of Your Own to celebrate in.Don't let the kitties steal your cupcake (or whatever)- for me it would be a cupcake.Hope the new home turns out great and that this year is your year of living damn well for a change.
Live long and prosper.Hugs.

Anonymous said...

Why do I (an old straight broad)find Charlize much more attractive than muscle man? Hmmm. Let me ponder on that.

Li'l Innocent said...

Aw, Annti, a birthday right on top of your new place, like butter-cream frosting on top of a fresh-baked 3-layer! Does it get better? I don't think it can! Happy Birthday, dear.

(Oh, yeah, and what about that little shy kittie you wanted to rescue from the campsite? Did you capture him?)

Woodrowfan said...

Happy Birthday! (and there's a "How to boost your testosterone" ad right below this post. must be the pic of the young lady with the bright bum...

Debbi said...

Happy birthday, Annti! Have an awesome day!

Anonymous said...

Awww hell, Scott!!! Keep yer sick ass in that bed!

Thank all of y'all, and Suezboo, darlin', if you didn't find glory and hallelujah in that picture of Charlize, then you'd have to be BLIND, babydoll! Besides, ALL women can see the beauty in other women, whether they're actually attracted/in love with those women or not. It's also what makes us so jealous & bitchy sometimes of/at the unfairly-blessed bitches who BRAG ABOUT IT.

Sorry to be so brief and so absent, but the new joint ain't all fixed-up yet, and I'm on HER machine, so my time is beyond "limited" --- and since the last fucking Windows "update" fucking FRIED my Firefox, I can only get my HO-mail, and only on HER machine, and as far as BROWSING? This is the extent of it, believe me. I *so* wanted to comment on the "Annti Come Home" post, but I've gotten senile & lazy w/Firefox and my passwords are all saved on MY machine,not in the dented ol' noggin. Hence the "anonymous" bullshit here.

At any rate, I will be IN the apartment, running water and all (and if I'm REALLY lucky, a functioning phone & ISP, since that "free" motherfucker from VIRGIN aka "Assurance Wireless" REFUSES TO FUNCTION INSIDE ORLEANS PARISH!!!!) by Sunday night, at the very latest. If it should come to matricide/multiple homicides (except for my dearly beloveds online, it's been THE. SHITTIEST. BIRFDAY. **EVER**. !!!) before then, well, then y'all have to get down to NOLA and pick out what y'all want out of the storage unit whilst I'm being arraigned.

And for future discussion, yes, y'all are more than welcome for Jazz Fest or future Halloweens (I'll BE THERE for my favorite holiday, but a costume is not in the budget), but I still DO *NOT* DO MARDI GRAS, so don't show up in the 'hood with a sleeping bag and a case of Milwaukee's Beast anytime in February, got me? Y'all are all shareholders in the clusterfuck that passes for my "life," so y'all are always welcome, but ANNTI DON'T DEAL WITH MARDI GRAS MOTHERFUCKERS. Unless I can someday get into a Mardi Gras Indian tribe, that's non-negotiable.

Otherwise, I LOVE Y'ALL SOOOOOOO FUCKING MUCH, every last ornery one of y'all, and thank you all so much for all of your love, kindness, friendship, faith and help.

Yer Ranty Aunty Annti

Doc Logan said...

A very happy birthday to the inimitable, indefatigable and incredible Annti!

Tracy said...

Yay for Annti! Happy Birthday!

Anonymous said...

Thanks again, y'all! BTW, did I mention that the original "Liquid Television" version of "Aeon Flux" is one of my all-time favorite animated series (mini-series?)???

Yes, the movie was a huge let-down, but it didn't bother me too much after a while... it was, after all, Charliiiiiiiizzzzze!!!

I do kinda wish that I'd requested Michael Clark Duncan last year, y'know, while that big gorgeous brilliantly-wicked hunka man hadda go and split on us all like a bad date. Dammit. Too damned young, too damned smart & funny, and just too damned GOOD, fer fuck's sake. Yeah, I'll always love Terry, and, oh... Cliff Curtis, the boy who plays Timmy on NCIS, Billy Connolly, Cliff Curtis, George Clooney (shaddup, Carl!), Johnny Depp (two of the very rare good things to come outta Kentucky besides HST), Andre' Braugher, and if there's a ball-gag available, Seth MacFarlane (hey, we're all entitled to our BAD TASTE, aren't we?), Cliff Curtis (ONE "Uncle Bully" joke and somebody DIES!!!), oh, the list goes on... Though there aren't many women who can compete with Charlize... though early Lucy Liu & Angela Bassett at EVERY age are always close contenders... Hey, I RETIRED over SIX fucking years ago, give a spinster her little amusements, dammit!

Thank you all, again and again and again, and Scott, if that Powerball ever hits, well, you know that you're amongst the first to get a cut, though I may never forgive Mary for having made me join fucking FACEBOOK just to vote for her school!!! (I love, adore & admire her, always have, always will, and envy her on so many levels... but Facebook is fucking EEEEVILLLL!!!)

Anonymous said...

Opps, Oopps, pick yer typo... in case anybody wondered, that was me, not Suezboo, up thar ^^^.

Yer Ranty Aunty Annti

Bill S said...

I take it you like Cliff Curtis? :D

Stacia said...

Happy Birthday Annti!

Anonymous said...

Thanks, Stacia, and for all of your love & support, too! And yeah, Bill, I'm still pissed that they cancelled "TRAUMA," but fucking OPIE needed more money to support Dax Shepard's DRUG HABITS on "Parenthood," so fuuuuuckkkk my boyfriend Cliffy.

What I can't believe, aside from having brain-farted so many names in my thanks in the post above, is that I fucking *FORGOT* LUCY FUCKIN' LAWLESS!!!!!! I also can't fucking believe that they killed her character off in fuckin' Japan, or WHY, but then, nobody investigated a fucking THING about Kevin Todd Smith's death whilst shooting that Willis piece-of-shit titled something about the fucking "sun," because short & bald could NOT compete with the giantly-talented, gorgeous & totally-climbable YOUNGER and BETTER actor. KTS, as opposed to Silent Bob, played "Ares" on the "Hercules" & "Xena" franchises, and his first "big" picture, he just "happens" to get killed while "drunk" --- yeah, right, a Kiwi might be crazy enough to fuck-around on scaffolding whilst drunk, but never stoopid enough to FALL, let alone to fall without GETTING UP AGAIN! Pfft. Fuck that New Jersey republicunt and shove his harmonica up his ass sideways.

Who, me? Bitter? Gee, does it show? Four hours' sleep, kids, four hours' sleep.

Jimbo said...

Happy B-Day Anti. I love your stuff and, of course, World O Crap is always awesome.

Anonymous said...

Thanks, Jimbo. Got cab fare so that I can actually LEAVE THE HOUSE tonight? At the moment I have about 8 bucks in my PayPal and that ain't even enough for smokes. Fuckit, the thread's already dead, how can I harm Scott, Bill, or anyone else with my shameless beggaring?