Tuesday, January 3, 2017
New Year, Same Old Crap
[On the phone with an old friend who prefers I not drag his good name through my sordid blog]
SCOTT: What'd you do for the holidays?
FRIEND: I went SCUBA diving in Hawaii.
SCOTT: Very nice. Did you get certified?
FRIEND: No, it was just a resort course, but now I feel like fucking Jacques Cousteau!
SCOTT: He is very sexually attractive.
SCOTT: I mean, not so much now. But back in the day I bet he was a tigershark in the sack.
SCOTT: Probably why that knit cap he always wore looked so much like a reservoir tip.
SCOTT: I'm texting you the url to my Jacques Cousteau/Rod Serling slash fiction site...
FRIEND: This is why I only talk to you once a year.