Cousin Oliver Is On The Warpath!

I did a search for Sher Zieve (fondly known to World O' Crap as "Moe Howard's Separated-at-Birth Twin," or "Shermp, the Forgotten Stooge"), because I was curious if she had modulated her demands for violent resistance to Barack Obama (or "The Usurper" as she likes to call him), in the wake of the mass murder in Norway.  Predictably, she's pretending it didn't happen, but I did come across a piece I'd missed (probably because it was published by Michnews, rather than her usual enablers at RenewAmerica), written back in March.

Obama: The Rights of the Many denied by the Tyranny of the few

While We-the-People of this formerly-and-to-be-again great nation every once in awhile need to take a break and a few hours rest from our mission of saving our country and defeating the enemies already firmly planted within our gates

I'm no expert in medieval siege tactics, but if they're already within our gates -- in fact, firmly planted there -- maybe we took a longer break than we should have.

Obama & Co continue legislation and executive fiats designed to destroy it. 

Destroy what, our gate?  No, that was the Homeowners Association; they claimed it was a non-standard design.  They also took down our oversized mailbox and confiscated our lawn flamingos.

Disastrously, evil never sleeps.

Evil is a tweaker.

Since the 2010 elections, Obama & Co have actually picked up the pace of their assault on the United States of America. Instead of listening to we the voters, Obama has chosen sides against us and is now almost shouting ‘Your elections do not count and never will mean anything at all unless you vote for me and my wants and desires! You won’t nullify me--I’ll nullify you‘! 

He has also been known to rise unsteadily from his club chair, white tie askew and eyes a'blaze, and bellow, "I'm Charles Foster Kane...!"

And…so he is doing it. In mid-February, Obama first came out against recently elected Republican Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker and We-the-People who elected him in favor of the unions who helped place Obama into the power over us all he enjoys today. [...]

As We-the-People (and once in a great while Fox News) are the only ones who have spoken out strongly against having to pay for government employees who now make more money than do we, Obama’s warning shot came for us when he said: “I don't think it does anybody any good when public employees are denigrated or vilified, or their rights are infringed upon." Denigrated and vilified? Hold it. Unlike your slathering bought-and-paid-for media, we told the truth about the situation. And ‘rights’? When did you Unions obtain the “rights” to steal from us in the first place and what “rights” do they have to now steal even more? 

If the right to collective bargaining is theft, I wonder what you'd call the extortionate techniques used by the GOP in the debt ceiling negotiations?  Probably something like "freedom leverage."  After all, you can't blackmail a black male.

We are being forced to finance those government-school “teachers” who are now openly indoctrinating our children in both Marxism and Islam!

On the bright side, Timmy graduated the third grade with a double major.  Next year we're thinking of enrolling him in either Libertarian Colonialism or Anarchist Catholicism.

When was the exact date the rights of We-the-People were usurped and bludgeoned by the tyranny of the few?

I believe it was St. Swithin's Day.

Mr. Obama, we know you were trained by your masters to destroy us and our country, in order for the ruling elite to rise up, rule over and squash us.

At long last, the ruling elite is finally getting to rule.  Being on the bottom rung of the politico-economic ladder for so long, they were starting to feel a little self-conscious about their name.

But, we’re not ready to be defeated. In fact, we plan to win this war against us begun by you and your cronies. 

We're going to start by asking you to please stop planting yourselves inside our gates.  From now on, we'll be captain of our own crop rotation.

And as you, your family and Marxist friends take extravagant after more extravagant vacations on our money and continue to host your weekly hedonistic parties at what was once OUR White House, we are planning your defeat and our return to both our Republic and our liberty.

I don't see much difference between the parties the White House currently hosts and those thrown when George Bush was president, but I suspect that even if Obama eschewed the fancy French wines and served only malt liquor at state dinners, Shermp would still be cheesed because he'd splurged on 40s.

While you play the libertine and then hire the very Muslim Brotherhood members sworn to destroy us, we are increasingly turning back to God and His counsel.

After noticing that Muslims were worshiping Him without the express written permission of Major League Christianity, God decided He'd better lawyer-up.

We have protested peacefully, thus far. However, as you and your minions carry on your increase of destruction, dictatorial dominance and stranglehold over us and our country--and then vilify and demean us when we balk at our bondage--we become less peaceful every day. Sir, you are neither our king nor our master and it is becoming clearer every day that you may not even be our legitimate president. 

As I said, this was written a little over four months ago, and climaxed with the usual cry for the exsanguination of patriots for landscaping purposes:

We have reached the tipping point, folks. This current lunacy of oppression can no longer be tolerated. It’s time. Soon we will hear from our own mouths and all of our communities “Let’s roll!”

Cousin Oliver kept her rhetoric at a boil all through Spring and early Summer, until the terrorist attacks in Oslo.  She hasn't yet alluded to these particular crimes against humanity in her column, but four days after the massacre Sher published a surprisingly mellow piece in which she merely referred to the President as "Dictator-in-Chief" and declared that "[t]he Obama syndicate is also a patently criminal organization," which for Sher is like replacing your usual sprinkling of Tabasco Sauce with a dollop of cold ketchup.

However, two days later she was back with this:

With no additional doubts — whatsoever — Democrat Senators have now come out into the open and are shouting that they rule over us all, they have ended our Republic and that we'd better shut up and get used to taking anything they and their Emperor-and-usurper-in-Chief Obama decide to employ against us. In other words, these beings have openly announced that they now own We-the-People "body and soul," we can't do anything about it and "if you want us to be benevolent slave masters, you'd better smile and say 'Yes Massa' when we speak and give you one of our new commandments!"=

As you can see, she's starting to shake off the ennui caused by wish-fulfillment and get back to the hard work of supplying reading material to people who thought The Turner Diaries was "too subtle."

She concludes with a spasm of eloquence:

Folks, we're quickly approaching — actually being unmercifully pushed into by those we elected to office who now contend they are our "betters" — the time when we will have to actively and physically fight back at our oppressors or live in a police state that we allowed to take us over. Chillingly, we're almost there and Congress and the dictator-in-chief are working on driving the final nails into our coffin. Be both forewarned and as prepared as possible for yourselves and your families. Unless we stop it, the deep darkness will continue to descend upon us...

Experience has taught me that when Shermp addresses her readers as "folks," a St. Crispix Day speech is about to be served in a heaping bowl.  Or bowl cut.

Previously, on...The Internet!

Some friends took us to see Cowboys & Aliens on Saturday, and for a 7 PM show on opening weekend, the crowd was surprisingly light.  Jon Favreau, who was introducing a Q&A for Attack the Block next door, wandered in just before the lights went down, surveyed the sparsely populated auditorium, and said, "So you're the people who couldn't get into The Smurfs?"

There's been some speculation -- which Favreau alluded to -- that moviegoers have reacted like the antagonists in a Reece's Peanut Butter Cup commercial, complaining about cowboys in their aliens, and vice versa, without actually tasting it.  For the record, I enjoyed the movie -- as a western, and as an alien invasion movie, both of which forms are a little neurasthenic and overbred by this late date, and both of which could benefit from the kind of genre-splicing that stops just short of parody.  It's sort of a steampunk Independence Day, without the constant, rash-inducing, sand-under-the-waistband-of-your-swimsuit irritation of Judd Hirsch and Bill Pullman, who I think has finally found the role he was born to play, the pedophile serial killer on Torchwood: Miracle Day.

However, as longtime readers have probably noticed, I don't write about films I like, partly because there are plenty of people on the internet who do that sort of thing better, but mainly because my critical faculties have been warped by years of looking at any moving image with the jaundiced, Better Living Through Bad Movies eye, leaving me to promptly and often pointlessly reach for the reductio ad snark. So instead, check out D.Sidhe's thoughts on the flick (Can We Try Cowboys And Sharks Next?), then enjoy her take on Piranha 3D.

Speaking of razor-toothed horrors of the sea, our friend Actor212 has some pensées on Shark Week from the perspective of a man who spends almost as much time underwater as a mako.

Dr. Mike Adams in: "Walking Tall 2: The Smirkening"

Hey kids, Dr. Professor Mike Adams is back!  Okay, to be honest, Dr. Mike -- like herpes -- never actually goes away, but it's only recently that the flare-ups have become noticeable, and this week he delivers a blistering eruption of logic which proves that bullying -- a misunderstood but essential form of natural selection -- should be encouraged, because it can take an effeminate, potentially homosexual second grader and turn him into prime breeding stock.  How does Dr. Mike know?  Because it worked for him!

So read on, and discover how Dr. Mike went from cringing, pants-wetting wuss to the Buford Pusser of Mrs. Humphey's Home Room.

The Bullied Gene

Yesterday, when I was arguing with a liberal...

...which is Dr. Mike's euphemism for "dry-humping the Resusci-Annie I filched from a dumpster behind the Community Health Center."

he told me I was entirely too harsh in my assessment of today’s youth.

Their refusal to go back to Dr. Mike's cabin and inspect his gun collection is actually a feature, not a bug.

He told me specifically that I needed to be aware of the fact that in 21st Century America one out of five boys gets bullied in school on a “regular basis.” I don’t know where he got that statistic but it really made me ashamed of my country. We need to do better. When I was a kid back in 20th Century America everyone got bullied in school.

Everyone got bullied?  Who bullied the bullies?  Presumably it was their fellow bullies, but did they take shifts, or was it handled through some kind of violent daisy chain?

Those really were the good old days.  

Why is it that people who don't believe in evolution are invariably the most enthusiastic social Darwinists?

My most memorable experience with bullying came during the 1972-73 school year when I was a student at Whitcomb Elementary School in Clear Lake City, Texas. The highlight of the year was Mrs. Ogden who was a total babe (sorry for the antiquated language but I’m telling a story about the 1970s). 

Speaking of the 70s, Dr. Mike, your praise of a woman's attractiveness seems every bit as genuine and unforced as the language in a Tiger Beat cover story.

The lowlight of the year was dealing with some punk named Brian...Brian was constantly bragging about how tough he was – probably because he was short and had a Napoleon complex.

In second grade?  So I guess he'd just given up on his pituitary gland and was pumping iron every day during nutrition break?

Eventually, Brian’s bragging about his fighting ability got old – even for Brian. So, one day, he challenged me to a fight on a specific day at a specific time in the schoolyard. Like a wimp, I faked being sick that day so I could stay home and avoid the confrontation. That strategy backfired. After wimping out on my scheduled confrontation with Brian he issued another challenge. And that led to another absence from school, which was excused by another fake illness. My mother was beginning to catch on.

Fortunately, this experience helped Mrs. Adams grow accustomed to disappointment early on in her career as a parent, so that by the time Dr. Mike's adulthood rolled around, she had skin like an armadillo.

I got to spend the summer at home and away from the bully in my second grade class. My parents even sent me to a baseball camp at nearby San Jacinto College where I would be instructed by real college baseball players. I wasn’t aware that Brian’s best friend Mike would be attending the same baseball camp.

Coincidentally, 1972-73 was the first season of ABC's Afterschool Special, from which I'm pretty sure Dr. Mike stole this entire story.

I wasn’t really expecting it when Mike came up behind me and shoved me in front of a bunch of the other little league players – many of whom were also my schoolmates. But the second I turned around and saw him I knew that he had shoved me for one reason and one reason only: His best friend Brian had told him I was a wimp who wouldn’t stand up to a bully. So I did the only thing I could do under the circumstances. I punched him in the mouth.

I'm sure that's how you remember it, Dr. Mike.

After Mike put his hand to his mouth and realized he was bleeding there was a real look of horror on his face. So I punched him again – this time in the nose. And after Mike sunk to his knees and started waving his hands in surrender I began to hit him with a barrage of uppercuts until he was lying on his back in the middle of the outfield crying like a little girl. 

 Oh, my mistake.  It wasn't an Afterschool Special.  Dr. Mike is just cribbing from A Christmas Story.

By the way, Dr. Mike -- and no offense to your theft of intellectual property reminiscences of childhood -- but I spent a fair number of years teaching karate to school kids, and "a barrage of uppercuts" is not in the average second grader's martial repertoire.

The next spring when I was standing in line for a snow cone after a game in Bay Area Park I saw Mike and Brian in the line ahead of me. Mike acknowledged me and asked if everything was “cool” between us. After I told him it was “cool” Mike turned to Brian and said “He really beat the crap out of me last summer.” So we all became friends and no one bullied anyone after that. 

Then they all went on a journey to find the dead body of a boy, and they almost got run over by a train, and had fights and arguments, and got sucked on by leeches, but then they confessed their insecurities and confronted their fears and learned hard lessons about life and stuff.  It was the best summer ever.

That’s how we dealt with bullying when I was a kid. Someone picked on someone until he got fed up and learned that he had to defend himself. It was all a part of learning to be a man.

Yeah.  Again, no offense...but Dr. Mike, the gun-coddling misogynist, is to manhood what the penis pump is to virility.

When the inevitable fight was over the bully and the bullied became friends. And no one really contemplated shooting up the school in retaliation.

However, if the 8-year old Dr. Mike had had as many handguns as the 48-year old Dr. Mike does, it might have been a different story.   Frankly, it still might.

But today things are different. The state is increasingly seeing itself as the agent responsible for stopping bullying.

This strikes me as more of a solution than a problem, Dr. Mike.  But then, I've experienced bullying, so I may be biased.  In fact, I suspect you'd have to survey quite a few of kids getting punched in the head before you found one who was a real stickler for federalism.

And they are increasingly interested in monitoring bullying throughout all levels of the educational process. At my university, there is actually a guide that directs students to various government resources that can help students who are experiencing bullying.

Coincidentally, the same day I read Dr. Mike's ode to intimidation, I saw this article:

When Sirdeaner Walker found out her son was being bullied and called homophobic slurs, she told his school about it.

"I thought they would handle the situation," she said. It turned out, "the school just didn't know how to or they weren't equipped to handle it. I thought it had stopped, but it continued and escalated."

Her son, Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover committed suicide in 2009. He was 11 years old. As she grieved, Sirdeaner received letters and cards from parents all over America whose children were also bullied.

Not that I mean to diminish Dr. Mike's formative and character-building violence, but even though getting pushed at a baseball camp (which your parents are paying for, and whose proprietors could be counted on to break up a fight before it threatened their liability insurance) is serious business, it's maybe not quite in the same league as getting called "fag" and "queer" every day, elbowed and tripped in the halls, shoved into lockers, and punched and kicked by a gang of would-be toughs behind the backstop.

And even though I was never subjected to the degree of abuse many gay and lesbians kids endure, there were certain scary times in my school career when I would have welcomed government intervention (or just the sight of a teacher), no matter how much it might have offended the Tenth Amendment; and even if it would have robbed me of the chance to grow up to be a man like Dr. Mike Adams.

Interestingly, the guide defines bullying as “the act of intimidating a weaker person to make them [sic] do something.” Since other campus programs focus on the disproportionate bullying of homosexuals this seems to be a tacit admission that homosexuals are indeed “weaker person(s).”

Or gays and lesbians are seen as safe targets, partially because of the implicit disapproval they receive from authority figures like Dr. Adams, and are therefore disproportionately picked on.

In other words, the implications of their approach to this topic have not been well-thought-out. Few things are “thought” through in higher education today. People generally “feel” their way through problems.

At least, that's how Dr. Mike explained his pedagogic methodology to the last co-ed he tried to pick up.

Some people believe the government should stop bullying because we have so many defenseless effeminate young men in the public school system.

And so many overcompensating, infertile closet cases at the state college faculty level.

But I believe we have so many defenseless effeminate young men in the public school system because people believe the government should protect them from bullying. That’s the difference between the liberals and me. And I’m pleased to offer my advice at no expense to the taxpayer.

Proving once again that you get what you pay for.

Put simply, the question of whether one will or will not be bullied is largely a matter of choice.

The same applies to getting mugged.  Or shot.  Or cancer.  Choose wisely, Dr. Mike.

You can either remain the boy who is bullied or you can become the man who fights back. I don’t think the former are restricted by what is in their genes. More likely, it’s just what’s missing in their jeans.

When I got roughed up by some kids in elementary school, my Dad didn't shame me, but he did offer to show me how to block a punch, and how to throw one.  Confronted with the same situation, Dr. Mike would probably cut to the chase and just tell his son to "Turn your head and cough."

So remember parents:  start your kids on violence early -- it's the vaccine that inoculates boys from the virus of homosexuality.  However, even after reading through Dr. Mike's column, I still don't know what a girl who gets abused by her peers is supposed to do.  Punching her tormentor in the mouth seems unladylike, and would probably only increase the risk factors for dykehood, so maybe she should just elect not to get pushed around.  I hear that when it comes to violence in schools, bullies -- like Dr. Mike -- are very Pro-Choice.

Massie Murder

You may remember Mychal Massie from this post, and if so, you might want to look into getting that procedure Jim Carey had done in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.  But for those unburdened by such recollections, Mychal "holds degrees in education, business/real estate, theology and pastoral counseling," and though he's not -- nor does he appear to have ever been -- in the military, he's "interested in killing all the enemy radical Muslims I can."  So you can understand why Mychal is so upset by the gruesome events in Oslo; there's no harm in fantasizing, even about really hideous and creepy things, but when some clown goes out and actually does it, in public, suddenly all the innocent daydreamer believers look like creeps by association.

Compare Oslo with Islamic terrorism?

Yes, it's true that the first reports of the horrific shootings that took place in Oslo, Norway, led us to believe that Muslim terrorists were responsible.

But then, that's pretty much Mychal's answer for everything, including "Who took the last Yoo Hoo?"

So, it was understandable that they and their sympathizers would attempt to use this single instance as proof of their persecution. It is also true that there are other instances of mass shootings that weren't committed by Muslims. But let's not confuse those situations as being even remotely the same as the violent, murderous acts of Islamists.

It's a pity Mychal wasn't present in Oslo to comfort the dying.  I imagine him kneeling beside a youthful victim as her life ebbs away, saying soothing things like, "Think how much worse you'd be feeling right now if you'd been shot by a Muslim," or, "A sucking chest wound administered by a Lutheran bullet just feels different, doesn't it?  So much less confusing."

 There is a difference between the gang-related shootings that took place this past weekend at a low-rider car show in Seattle and the family-related roller-rink shootings in Texas.

I guess so, in the sense that only at the latter crime scene would you have been likely to hear the Olivia Newton John hit "Xanadu."  I suppose what Mychal is really saying is that anyone shot at a low-rider car show deserves to die for fiddling with their shock absorbers, but I'm not sure how that relates to the Oslo tragedy, unless he's implying that the youth camp victims were asking for it by joining a gang of Labour Party delinquents, or as Glenn Beck put it, "The Hitler Youth."

I do not apologize that, based on the early reports, I believed the Oslo killings to be the work of Islamists. There's a systemic animalism that is endemic to Islam that traces back to Ishmael.

Although many of the early reports that Ishmael had been "mocking," were later recanted, and it turned out Sarah had only seen him "voguing." Still, I wonder how many generations of Mychal's family we'd have to trace back before we found one who wasn't a fabulous lunkhead.

No matter how Islam is portrayed, there is nothing pastoral or peaceful about it, nor is there anything reverential about it. Islam's practitioners are religious only to the extent that one is religious about terrorism, threats, murder and mayhem.

Every member of the world's second-largest religion is in on the biggest con job in human history!  (I know, pulling off such a massive and complex swindle seems impossible, but don't forget, they're using the high-tech organizing principle of Systemic Animalism!  And best of all, the whole incredible story is Soon to be a Major Motion Picture Starring George Clooney and Brad Pitt in Ocean's 1.4 Billion.)

People may not like what I say, but it's time we stop dancing around this issue. We must take them as serious threats that warrant thorough watching and investigation.

Of course, while we're watching and investigating Them, some of Us might slip in and slaughter a few hundred people here and there, but like Sammy Davis, Jr. urged in the theme song to Baretta, you gotta keep your eye on the sparrow.

Muslims are a fanatical threat, and they take pride in that fact. They are proud of the fact that they can gain access to what they want through threat and intimidation.

Mychal is not letting the fact that he was completely wrong about the crime and its perpetrator slow him down in the least.  He's still as imitation tough as ever, and he's going to fake-kill as many fantasy Muslims this week as he usually imagines he does.

It's not fear mongering to argue that we must be concerned with the increasing number of Muslims coming here – especially those being converted in prisons and those coming here illegally.

Wait -- Muslims are coming to here to be converted in prison?  (And I thought that agri-tourism fad in Italy was weird.)  So if they go into jail as Muslims, what do they come out as -- Star-belly Sneetches?

 In my column "It isn't fanaticism – it's evil," 

I thought it was DiGiorno.

I wrote: "...Their hatred is an anathema to all rational consideration. They have but one goal: to subdue the world under the rule of Islam." (WND, Aug. 12, 2006)

As Mychal would say, there's a difference between Muslim hatred, and the calm, orderly process of ratiocination by which one arrives at hatred for Muslims.

The question becomes, will America take steps to protect our people or will we wait for the "tah-lee-bahn," as Obama pronounces it, to defile our courts with Shariah law?

Whenever a blond, blue-eyed, right-wing Christian massacres a hundred Norwegians, it's inevitably the signal for illiterate, right-wing religious fanatics from Afghanistan to destroy America by filing frivolous lawsuits in Small Claims Courts, and then the next thing you know, we're all dhimmis, and the Taliban are demanding that our President show submission to Islam by talking in Harry Belafonte's accent from The Banana Boat Song.

The facts are there for all to see. 

Well, they're not exactly "facts," but you've definitely pulled them out for everyone to see.

We don't need a president who can pronounce Arabic words better than he can speak English (remember "corpse" instead of corps); we need a president who realizes that these people are not our friends and that they are a threat to ourselves and our way of life.

I suspect Mychal wrote this column when "based on the early reports, [he] believed the Oslo killings to be the work of Islamists," and discovered to his delight that his original conclusion was immune to subsequent refinements in the data.

Which means we should restrict their ability to immigrate here and we should watch them like Janet Napolitano recommends our "white middle-class" be watched – because, she has determined, they could very likely be terrorists.

Just to sum up:  A white, conservative Christian commits mass murder in Scandinavia, which must prompt the United States to revive the Chinese Exclusion Act, except for Muslims this time, and especially the Uyghur, who have the effrontery to be Chinese Muslims, which is like slapping Chester Alan Arthur right in the muttonchops.

Happy Birthday, Heydave!

Dance the pagan fertility dance, for it's fetus harvest season here at WO'C.  All around the country, the pregnant women are ripe and ready to drop, while on the sunny, fecund plains of Iowa, the ears of corn and spleens of wheat are waving in the breeze, rich and good and ready to be reaped.  But it's one ex-fetus in particular who concerns us today: our old friend, the irrepressible (in that one rarely hears him yelling, "Help!  Help!  I'm being repressed!") Heydave.  Please join me in wishing him a sinfully festive natal anniversary.

And since Mary and I are going to see Captain America tonight (because I've heard from Big Hollywood's John "Dirty Harry" Nolte that it's subversive and too ashamed of American Exceptionalism to fully satisfy Dirty's fantasies by showing the Super Soldier Serum swelling Cap's muscles, while the Vita-Rays turn his scrotum red, white and blue), I've decided just this once to forgo the traditional Ann Coulter portrait, and instead shoehorn in a shot of Hayley Atwell, who plays Steve Rogers' gun-toting gal pal, Peggy Carter.

Happy birthday, Heydave, and thanks for hanging around in a disreputable joint infested with bad wingnuts and even worse movies.  Speaking of which, please excuse me...I've got to get back to Yor, the Hunter from the Future...

Post-Friday Beast Blogging: The Oh-Oh Edition

Moondoggie:  Oh, Blanket...I don't know were you stop and I begin..!

Riley:  Oh, Thigh...I don't know where you stop and I begin...!

Riley:  What a second.  That sounded kind of fruity...

Happy Birthday, Preznit!

Please join me in wishing the happiest, most beeriest of natal days to WO'C old-timer (but young at heart) preznit giv me turkee.

Now, in addition to being a witty commenter, preznit is also savvy and farsighted enough to block images at World O' Crap on his birthday, so there's no point in my posting the traditional Ann Coulter photo.  Instead, here's a picture of the lovely and Oh So streamlined Coulter's Department Store on the fabulous Miracle Mile of Wilshire Boulevard, circa 1939:

Here's another...

So far as I can tell, there is no connection between Ann Coulter and the department store, although they both date back to 1878.  Anyway, have a great one, prez!