At least, that's how I assume most of these people wind up here. And while it's not my job to answer their questions, since I'm not a highly advanced algorithm created by two Stanford Ph.Ds in the late 1990s as far as you know, I still like to be hospitable. So let's grab a few brews from the fridge, tear open a bag of Tostitos, and see if we can't help them with their problems. Or at least, the first ten of them.
1. head of lenin on la brea: Yes. (We originally ordered the head of Alfredo Garcia, but they were out of stock.)
2. incest perfect: This is a colloquial verb form ("I did my mother," "I am doing my mother," "I am going to do my mother") native to Appalachia and parts of western Alabama and southeastern Mississippi.
3. is there a real california lifestyle?: Yes, it involves eating a lot of Ramen noodles so you can afford gas.
4. bunch of crap mlk speech celebration: Not a question really, just a composite of all the headlines at Townhall, American Thinker, and WorldNetDaily the day after the March on Washington anniversary.
5. incest daughterfather: Well, I suppose if your family is so inbred that you're actually your own daughterfather, then even masturbation would constitute incest.
[In case you were wondering, this sudden influx of incest-seekers seems to have been triggered by Bill S.'s funny -- but apparently irresistible to the insatiably incestuous -- review of Flowers in the Attic.]
6. kissing above stomach: I assume this question comes from some ambitious corporate ass-kisser looking to push the envelope, and I'm afraid the answer is No. HR frowns on anything above the belt.
7. butt power pell: They're really making it hard to qualify for those college tuition grants.
8. ryan mcpartlin nu: Despite well-defined abdominals and awesome bed-head, the hunky young actor has apparently failed to impress the Yiddish-speaking audience.
When it comes to John Woo-style two-fisted gunplay, they just prefer someone a little more believable, like Luther Adler, or Mollie Picon.
9. 18 years horny: This is the porn parody of 12 Years a Slave. Frankly, it seems a little Too Soon to me, but I guess they can't all show the refined good taste of Genital Hospital or Edward Penishands.
10. lassie sexy: Well this one popped up in the referrer logs just last night, so as hard as it is to admit, it looks like former Senator Rick Santorum was right: first you allow sexy birthday lizards to commit frottage on your blog, and the next day someone is violating the personal boundaries of a border collie.
Anyway, now we come to the fun part (for me at least), because as you know, this is an Open Source project, so the next five questions are for you guys...
11. do troll dolls have demonic spirits?
12. easy to swallow tapeworm
13. tube Gary Cooper
14. codpiece bicentennial man
15. erection in a flightsuit
Have at it in comments!