Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Kevin McCullough: Why Rinse and Spit When I Can Just Swallow?

Speaking of Townhall and its deep bench of the deeply disturbed, you may remember our old friend Kevin McCullough, leader (and apparently sole member) of a neo-tough guy movement called the Throbbing ManHead Rebellion, or the Steroidal Scalp Insurrection, or something like that.

These days Kev hosts a weekend radio show with one of the lesser Baldwin brothers -- Gummo, I think -- but he still finds times to indulge his eco-friendly hobby of building pre-fabricated snits out of recycled hoaxes.
Why Are You Connected to Human Traffickers?
I believe it was due to a typo in my Friends and Family plan.
When it comes to your own personal beliefs about slavery, sex traffic, and the exploitation of children, do you realize that you are involved in those practices?
No, but as soon as I have that sentence translated into English, I intend to become outraged about it.
These are the most revolting realities in existence today and you are playing a significant role in keeping them going.
Well look, when you're juggling dozens of realities, one or two of them are bound to get a little dystopic.
It doesn't matter if you call yourself conservative, liberal, progressive, atheist, or evangelical, YOU are playing a role in the fate of nearly 3,000 children in New York City and tens of thousands most other cities across the United States. 
Thanks to the greed and cruelty of Planned Parenthood, these child laborers are sent deep into unsafe and poorly ventilated uteri to mine for zygotes.
You are keeping them enslaved. You are insuring the depression, emotional stuntedness, and in some cases early suicide that is present in so many of these otherwise innocent children.
Just curious, but is "early suicide" anything like "premature ejaculation"?  And what happens if your suicide is late?  Do they get to keep the deposit?

But this reminds us of when Kevin mused that the suicide of gay teen Tyler Clementi was maybe a good thing:  "Perhaps Tyler had a genuinely sensitive conscience, perhaps he had great respect for both his family and his God, perhaps he felt ashamed of actions because he knew they were immoral. Hence a completely different narrative could be told, one that encourages young people towards moral choices."
This was all brought home again this week in the release of five new undercover videos, each of which demonstrated that our tax dollars are being used to break the law by aiding and abetting traffickers.
On the bright side, my tax dollars aren't being used to enable tendentious, lying nitwits with a shaky grasp of iMovie.
Worse yet the organization that you are funding receives upwards of $363 million dollars a year from you, and allows the full range of the services they provide to assist sex traffickers. 
Among the full range of services Planned Parenthood provides to sex traffickers is insurance, brake relining, payday loans, non-surgical hair replacement, stump removal, and custom window treatments.
LiveAction.org and it's president Lila Rose spent most of last week making the progressive left in America so angry, that several of them threatened violence against the organization that is attempting to protect innocent human life. How very tolerant of the one who scream "tolerance" at every turn. 
 Hey, it's the return of the old You O So "Tolerant" Liberals Are Intolerant of My Intolerance gambit!  Sure, some people may say it's a wizened, gristly, played-out old whore, but I say the Classics are evergreen.
(Except now in the lives of underage children.) 
Overage children, however, can fend for themselves, the creepy, parasitic bastards.  I don't know what it is, but there''s just something about a 40-year old man in a Buster Brown costume that makes my gorge rise.
Live Action has through very meticulous undercover investigation exposed the actions of those that run these facilities. What the video tapes demonstrate is that multiple clinics operated by Planned Parenthood plainly engage in the cover up of direct knowledge of sex trafficking.
Apparently, it's now a crime to keep a straight face.
And thus far on five different tapes, five specific instances of law breaking occurred by not immediately reporting the trafficking they became aware of.
Actually, Planned Parenthood did contact the authorities, including the FBI, but in retrospect the clinic workers should have pulled a gun while Lila was still prattling on and blazed away until she was just a nitwit-shaped stained on the wall.
Jhemu Green and other feminist pundits immediately went on cable television to attempt to indict the motives of Live Action.
Which even I admit is unfair.  Someone can deceptively edit video footage and doctor audio to deliberately create the false impression of a crime being committed, and still have the best of intentions.
Choosing to focus on "medical" services other than the abortions they provide, the Planned Parenthood supporters had a very tough time describing compelling situations that would prove a woman's needs for a local Planned Parenthood clinic in their community. 
 What sort of "medical" needs do women have that are so darned special?  When their ladypart goes on the fritz, they can just seal it up with cement, like that tree with the hole in it near Boo Radley's house.
Ms. Green, an African-American woman, should be ashamed of herself.
Because as far as Kevin's concerned, there's nothing more shameful than being a Negress.    
Planned Parenthood was founded by the racist Margaret Sanger with her sole intention to be the elimination of children in black neighborhoods.
That's why she established her first clinic in the Jewish Brownsville neighborhood of Brooklyn.  She was trying to lull the black folks into a false sense of fecundity. 
It is by no mistake that the majority of Planned Parenthood clinics are planted in urban centers in the middle of ethnic neighborhoods. 
It does seem suspicious that a low cost clinic catering to poor women who can't afford private medical care would be situated in a city, rather than an exurban bedroom community.  I bet these underprivileged teens would enjoy a long bus ride into the country; it would give them a chance to work on the timing of their suicide.
Ms. Green, in appearing on Fox News, claimed that the nation's primary abortion provider had developed an important and trusted "special relationship" with young women who are looking for birth control. 

But Ms. Green since 7 out of 10 African American conceptions is brought about in illegitimacy and 8 out of 10 of those end in the termination of the unborn child's life, it seems your premise falls flat before it passes your lips. 
Except:  "[T]he birth rate for unmarried black women is--and has been--declining. In 1970 the birth rate for unmarried black women was 96 per 1,000. In 1980, it was 87.9. In 2005 it was 60.6. There is a huge spike in the late 1980s, but the overal trend is clear--the birth rate for unmarried black women has been declining for almost 40 years...The birth rate...has declined way more for married black women than it has for married white women."

So apparently Planned Parenthood's "trusted 'special relationship' with young women who are looking for birth control" is still more productive than Kevin's relationship with people who are looking for actual facts.
But even if you accept the feminist's false premise, does that in some perverted way justify the willingness that Planned Parenthood clinics are demonstrating, in the release of the undercover videos, towards the greatest moral blight of our time--the willful underage trafficking of minors for sexual exploitation?
Right.  Of course, Planned Parenthood reported the made-up crimes to the U.S. Attorney General, but Lila's inept scam aside, here's what I'm wondering, Kevin...If Planned Parenthood exists to traffic in child sex slaves, then why would they perform abortions at all?  That's like a plantation owner setting fire to his own cotton.  If they were serious about this enterprise, PP would lure pregnant teens into their clinics, steal the fetuses, and then raise them on their sex farms.
No Ms. Green, no Planned Parenthood, no American progressives, and no self-hating blacks who refuse to speak truth, no... it does not justify the taking of innocent children, chaining them to a wall, and making them perform sexually until pregnant--and then securing a partially state-subsidized abortion (as Mitt Romney's health care plan allows in Massachusetts, and as President Obama's health care plan allows through backdoor options.) 
I have to admit, I truly admire the way Kevin can take a single falsehood, and let it germinate inside his noggin until it blossoms into a fantasy so febrile and fetishistic that it likely would have been dismissed by the '70s-era John Waters as "a little too weird."
The slush fund that has become the tax-payer vacuum shoot to Planned Parenthood must end. 
But let's not chute the messenger.
Not that Planned Parenthood ever qualified as "health care assistance" to begin with. 
After all, a woman's reproductive organs are called "plumbing," aren't they, so it's really more like "maintenance," or "pipe-fitting."
The truth is they are an activist group, advocating and encouraging robust sexual activity in teens
Sometimes from the foot of the bed.  With a megaphone.
sometimes as young as junior high, and supplying abortions for anyone, under (obviously) any circumstances. 
 I got one myself last Christmas, although predictably my dad and uncles were the ones who wound up playing with it around the tree, and I had to make do with my sister's Lite Brite.


James Briggs Stratton "Doghouse" Riley said...

Man, somehow, even as I was reading Kevin's teaser something told me the payoff was going to be disappointing. It was like watching a movie trailer full of explosions an' lasers an' shit, but knowing that the film was written and directed by a nine-year-old convicted arsonist.

D. Sidhe said...

Kevin's right. The lives of underage whores are clearly not miserable enough, what with having run away from abusive homes and being coerced into prostitution by violent men who get them hooked on drugs. I don't see how Jesus could possibly happy until we also deny them condoms, refuse them treatment for STDs, and make the female ones carry babies to term (or at least until the violent men beat the fetus out of them).

It's in the Bible! Something about "suffer the children".

Sorry, Scott. It started out funny, but was overwhelmed by the sociopathy.

Lila Rose is a piece of shit who should have at least spent a night in a cell while they sorted out whether she actually *is* a sex trafficker.

Brian said...

Some greatness inspires me, like listening to Zeppelin and wanting to practice my bass. Some greatness fills me with a sense of uselessness about my efforts (Victor Wooten in this analogy). This post is Wooten-esque. Humbling, but so damn good.

Anonymous said...

Hoo boy, ACORN all over again. When James O'Keefe comes up with something really stupid, the rest of the wing-tards follow.

Seems to me that for Mr. McCullough and the rest of these pale male women's reproductive -rights haters, the solution to abortion is simple: Cut off your dicks, you guys. That'll solve the problem, easy.

Brian Schlosser said...

Of course, if the PP workers HAD somehow kept Lila and her odious cohorts from leaving until the cops got there, they would be suing them for false arrest.

I think I'm going to go to my local PP clinic and ask about having the alien fetus that was rectally implanted during my UFO abduction aborted. Then, when they don't have me committed on the spot, I will use that as proof that Planned Parenthood is in league with the Greys and the Reptilians in their plot to take over the world by breeding hybrid alien/human babies.

s.z. said...

Why am I connected to human traffickers? Because my tax dollars went to support "non-profit groups" that intimidated women at the Planned Parenthood clinic in Philadelphia, thus scaring causing some woman (mostly poor and immigrant ones)in need of reproductive health to go to that hell hole ran by Dr. Kermit, where at least one of them died. Wait, that isn't trafficking, that's murder! I wonder when Kevin will write a piece about that.

Oh, and Kevin, one of your TH commenters has a challenge for you:

If bet if you dig hard enough you will find Planned Parenthood actually owns and operates child sex traficking gangs. I challenge the Libs to prove me wrong. I challenge the Chstians with resources to prove it.

Kevin, your a Chstian (or something) with resources: I too challenge you to infiltrate some child sex trafficking gangs (I think the FBI says that the the usual violent criminal gangs would be the main players) and see how many of the gang bangers are also secret Planned Parenthood employees. Don't come back until you have a report.

trashfire said...

One Night In Atlantic City

Emcee: "And now that the Evening Gown event is over, it is time for the Onstage Question part of our pageant. The first question goes to Miss Texas. [Applause as he tears open envelope] 'Miss Texas, How do you feel you are personally connected to the sex trafficking industry?'"

Miss Texas[bites lower lip]: "I am connected to sex trafficking, because, well, just as an example, I grew up in the Arlington area, and I know that for years I and my family have shelled out a small fortune in increased sales tax revenue, and my Uncle Debus' Motel 6 out on the expressway has been hit hard by B&B tax increases, all to help pay for that awful Cowboys Stadium and its half-billion-dollar cost overruns, much of it going into the team owners' pockets, and it's upsetting. But then you have a glorious event come along like Super Bowl Ex Ell Vee, with all of the most highly compensated and talented sex workers in the world, and their pimps, all converging on lil' ol' Arlington -- some of them even staying in Uncle Debus' motel, and turning tricks to help boost the local economy, all made possible by those very taxes... [dabs her eye] ...and it's clear when you see the big picture that we all have a big connection, and owe a debt of gratitude, to sex traffickers worldwide. Thank you." [Smiles and curtsies as the crowd applauds.]

D. Sidhe said...

What kills me about all this, what really makes me want to hurt the hell out of someone, is that the people who actually aided interstate kid rapers here are Lila and her band of moral halfwits.

In their effort to crowd Planned Parenthood off the field (so they can't provide health care and pre-natal care and contraceptives to women with few resources and no access to other clinics because, you know, that's completely immoral) they set up a two bit "sting" that accomplished nothing other than to WASTE THE TIME the FBI would otherwise be using to STOP CHILD TRAFFICKING.

So, hey, thanks, you stupid fuck, for helping out the violent pricks who turn abused children into serial rape and beating victims and corpses. And all to aid clumps of cells with no emotions and no ability to suffer. AND while screwing poor women out of pap smears! On behalf of former and current underage whores everywhere, especially the dead ones who can't offer their own thanks, keep your fucking help to yourself next time.

Kathy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kathy said...

What a pity the PP employes (or ACORN) didn't simply pick up the phone and call the police. "I have in my office at this moment a person who claims to traffic in underage prostitutes... yes, the car license is XXX-XXX". And THEN: kick O'Keefe or his imitators in the ass as they run for the door.

Anonymous said...

our tax dollars are being used to break the law by aiding and abetting traffickers.

Sounds like a good reason to stop paying taxes then. Is that what you're advocating, Kev?

Seems to me that for Mr. McCullough and the rest of these pale male women's reproductive -rights haters, the solution to abortion is simple: Cut off your dicks, you guys. That'll solve the problem, easy.

Not that I disagree with your suggestion, at all, but don't make me laugh. As if those scabrous, exophthalmic, odoriferous, hateful and ridiculous wastes of human flesh ever get consensually laid -- without money or equivalents being exchanged in one way or another.

heydave said...

Kevin has all the logic of the underwear elves:

1. Steal underwear
3. Profit!

Li'l Innocent said...

Anonymous is probably right that Kevin and his friends don't have a lot of consensual joy in their nasty pinched existences...
but as an alternative to dick removal, how about good old testicle removal? Less complicated, has a lot of fine old tradition behind it (cf. 18th C opera, male sopranos, role of; or Empire, Ottoman, male security force, specialized), and I understand it calms you down considerably. Better for everybody, in short.

David in NYC said...

partially state-subsidized abortion (as Mitt Romney's health care plan allows in Massachusetts, and as President Obama's health care plan allows through backdoor options

Someone please tell Kevin about how female naughty bits work. I think he has it -- literally -- ass-backwards.