Sunday, January 13, 2013

Get Well Soon, KWillow

Well, I thought I'd been having a crappy New Year (and one which is about to get either much better or much worse next week), until I read this comment from our friend KWillow:
I just had my gall bladder out. Holy crap, does a gallstone HURT hurthurthurthurthurt. Even the new & improved morphine just barely touched the agony. Okay, it reduced it a lot. So I went into the ER at about 3pm, and had the laparoscopy surgery around 11pm. Spent half the night and half a day, and was released at 11am. Quite amazing. 
First of all...there's new and improved morphine?!  Just imagine if this stuff had been available in the 1950s!  I bet Bela Lugosi could have done two, maybe three more Ed Wood movies before he finally keeled over, although I think we're all agreed that it's just as well he keeled before Ed began making soft core porn movies.  (Or maybe we're not agreed...Frankly, I wouldn't put anything past you people.)
But advances in opium derivatives and outpatient microsurgery aside, this is exceedingly unhappy news, as K is one of the nicest, wittiest, most thoughtful and Empire-waisted women we know, and I'm sure I speak for everyone here (except possibly for the person who came here from Google looking for "hobo sex santa girls") when I wish her as speedy and painless a recovery as possible.

Get well soon, K!


Jimbo said...

Former hospital orderly back in the Dark Ages, yes, gallstones are nasty. Best wishes for K's full recovery and kudos to this great site.

Debbi said...

Best wishes to K for a speedy recovery.

Doc Logan said...

Feel better soon, KWillow!

And now, a short list of Bela Lugosi movie titles that sound like porn:

How to Handle Women (1928)

Oh, For A Man (1930)

Women of All Nations (1931)

You'll Find Out (1940)

One Body Too Many (1944)

Lock Up Your Daughters (1959)

Carl said...


From my observations, only labor pains are worse than an inflamed gall bladder. Hope you're healed soon

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Good luck, KWillow!

Anonymous said...

Aw, K, sorry about the pain. Ow.
Hope you're soon all better.

Kathy said...

Thank you for the good wishes. I'm so much better now, it is just amazing. I was "mis diagnosed" the first couple of times I went to the doctor, although I gather (now) that gallstones are a pretty easy diagnosis. My sister was diagnosed by a sales clerk at Safeway whom she was complaining to. Sis when to her doctor and repeated what the sales clerk told her and he said "Your Safeway check out gir is RIGHT!" I, however was diagnosed with constipation and advised to go home and take laxatives AND stool softeners. So I meekly did, and yet... the pain was worse than ever. Thank GOD my husband came home from his bi-monthly business trip and sorted everything out with just a few words. Where would we silly women be without big strong (alright, slender & slight English) husbands, eh?

As you can see, I'm very happy right not and it ISN'T due to narcotics! Motrin now works fine for the after-op pain.

As for the new-improved morphine, it wasn't explained to me exactly how it was better than the old stuff... I noticed I didn't itch all over when they gave it to me, so maybe that's the improvement. If so, its a very good one!


D. Sidhe said...

Feel better, K. I had that done a few years back. And yes, gallstones hurt like fuck. But at least that won't happen again.

You could have ended up with pancreatitis like John Ashcroft, so, at least you were spared that. (Also, spared being John Ashcroft, so...)

Anyway, get well soon, take the meds they gave you when you're supposed to, don't try to tough it out. And be glad you're not John Ashcroft, if for no other reason that you wouldn't be able to look at yourself naked without panicking.

Anonymous said...

I hope they got rid of that nasty “euphoria” side effect

heydave said...

s you can see, I'm very happy right not and it ISN'T due to narcotics!... Denial ain't just a river, honey.

But I am glad you're feeling better.

Dr.BDH said...

Thought at first that was "empire wasted" - it was the modified morphine reference that set up that little Freudian slip for me.

I, too, am glad K is better. Any time you have a bodily passage that is smaller than the object trying to pass through it (gallstone, kidney stone, baby, trichobezoar) the pain goes to 11.

Woodrowfan said...


Weird Dave said...

Here's to many more of your comments Ms. Willow.

Batocchio said...

Sorry to hear it, KWIllow. My mom had that done one or two years back. It'll do a number on ya. Anyway, I'm glad you're feeling better and recovering.

Anntichrist S. Coulter said...

Everything that they said. To the power of 1,000.

As always, sorry to be late to the party. No real excuse for it, thus the apology.

And HeyDave, Carl, et al, no, that is NOT a set-up for a "Yeah, well, I said it TO INFINITY!" pissing contest, no matter how much fun that such would be if one of us lives near snow.

(Quietly thwacking HeyDave with the broom for that Denial gag... and don't worry, we already know that he enjoys it... NEW MATERIAL, boyo, new material... Back into yer corner!)

Chris Vosburg said...

Thank you, Better Morphine, and thank you, laparoscopic surgery (much less invasive).

Also, hey Annti, that's not yer ridin' broom, is it? [ducking swung broom].

Li'l Innocent said...

Very glad you're better KWillow, even if I am somewhat consumed with envy at the description of your spouse, who sounds lovely and is doubtless old enough to be my grandson.

(Chris, you know perfectly well Annti rides a HEPA Dyson Upright with built-in photon torpedoes and cruise control.)

Anntichrist S. Coulter said...

Ohhhhh, sssoooooooo many jokes about things to be *ridden*... And yet, well... nah, too easy. Yes, HeyDave, JUST LIKE ME... *bah-dum-bump! (do yer own rim-shot!) {Eternal thanks to Robin M. for the Hitachi Magic-Wand!!! Talk about INDESTRUCTIBLE!}

Don't forget, Vosburg... I may not have the powers of yer Samantha-type witches, boyo, but I got ways... heh heh heh...

And what timing! Right as one of my favorite original WB 'toons is on, featuring Hazel/"Zsa-Zsa" the witch & a hot-tub for Bugs... The age of it should make me feel old, but compared to her, I'm still a hot young thing! So nyeh! "Modesty is one of my girlish qualities... bwuaaaheheheheh heh heh heh..."

Not so fond of the ol' "women drivers" gag, though (*one* word about the inflicted-by-OTHERS dents in my hoopty and I bust a lip!)...

A Dyson, really? Darling, as posh as they are, I really do prefer my good ol' fashioned Shop-Vac. Thanks for the compliment, though!

And K.? Why didn't they have "motrin" like that back when they yanked MY gallbladder, dammit?!!?!?!?!??? Lucky girl, lucky girl... okay, the surgery and agony and being clusterfucked by a bullshit excuse for "doctors," not so lucky --- actually eerily reminiscent of MY experiences, which NOBODY (all together now: EXCEPT FOR DICK CHENEY!!!) deserves, but I'm so grateful & glad that you came out of this okay, 'cause you're one of my favoritest peoples.

Stacia said...

I'm so late with my well wishes that K is already on the mend! Great news!

Also glad to hear the new morphine is improved. My experience with morphine was "Oops I'm unconscious" which really cuts into that whole euphoria thing everyone talks about.

P.S. Motrin (ibuprofen) is the best thing in the world. My gift to you: the idea of chocolate-covered Motrin. You will be very rich.

Anntichrist S. Coulter said...

Stacia, darling, I adore you dearly, and hate to disagree, but having run the gamut of painkillers, well, everything short of straight heroin, I gotta tellya, Motrin/Advil are flat-out USELESS for me, except for ripping my gut to shreds.

And, truthful, trustworthy & disarmingly honest as K.Willow is, soooommmmehowwww, I get the gist that she's pulling our legs about "only" being on "motrin"... Nope, not judging, not conjecturing, just hoping that she's nice & toasty & warm in the arms of something FAR more comforting than advil/motrin... Besides, I don't remember which PharmaCorp owns Motrin, but I kinda think, in my exhaustion/valium-riddled brain, that it's one of the ones that I don't like, just to pile-onto the blathering that I've already splattered all over K.Willow's much-beloved, much-deserved comments.

Anntichrist S. Coulter said...

Why in the FUCK does HTML fucking ***HATE*** ME?!?!??!?!?!