Monday, February 3, 2014

Ladies and Gentlemen, Mr. and Mrs. Heydave!

Well, I've missed the deadline on my script, and am now well into breach of contract territory, so I probably shouldn't tarry, but I just learned some happy news that I wanted to share: our old friend Heydave got married yesterday.

I don't have many details, but when I asked if I could post an announcement on Wo'C, Dave -- well-acquainted as he is with the habits and interests of the average Crapper -- thought you might enjoy hearing that Wally...
(That's Wally on the left, with his buddy, Z)

..."sat on my foot while we were exchanging vows in front of our fire place."

So please join me in lifting a toast to the happy couple!


Jacquie said...

Awww, yay! Congrats to Heydave and spouse. I will also note that I am currently trying to reach through my monitor to scritch the dogs.

Dr.BDH said...

So glad to hear that Hey marriage is legal in your state, Dave. Congratulations!

Kathy said...


ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Well, I've missed the deadline

Good to see you are following in my career mis-footsteeps.


Li'l Innocent said...

Oh, that's great! Many happy retur... I mean, Merry Chri... oh, you two kids know what I mean! It sounds like a splendid ceremony, also. Fireplace and a doggy witness, what more could anyone want?

heydave said...

Well, hello, howdy and thanks!

Yes, it's true: I got insanely lucky and managed to convince my dear, my heart, my love, Alison, to agree to marrying me. And in case you're wondering if this is merely my acting before her meds wear off, please don't so too loudly, and what's your point anyway?

But we did have a nice, quiet ceremony at home, with a friend all legalized to perform Hey marriages (nice one!), her parents acting as witnesses (you mean I get cool in-laws now too? Fuckin A!), and the dogs and cats looking on, all while the fireplace cast its warm embrace.

As for back story I know you all really want to hear, Alison brought Wally and Z into my life about a year and a half ago. Two black pugs, seemingly inseparable, except for 5 years of age (Wally is 10; the weirdly yet happily demented Z is 5).

A few months back, we woke to find Wally paralyzed except for sad eyes. After a rush to the vet and then the animal hospital, Wally had spinal surgery to relieve two points where disk brouhaha impinged on the neural highway that controlled body movement.

After a relatively short span of time later, he literally rebounded into a recovery of puppyhood that had never been witnessed. He's now a goofy, blustery little shit enjoying his midlife crisis with enough aplomb to make balding sports car drivers envious. He's even capering in the Iowa snows in our backyard, a fenced-in area being new to his experience.

And, yes, making sure he is not left out of any human-animal doings, like dinner gatherings or wedding ceremonies.

grouchomarxist said...

Congratulations, heydave! All I can say is, a lady who brings love and two really cool dogs into your life must indeed be right special.

I suppose with me and Mizzus Marxist celebrating our 35th this June, I ought to be able to give you some sage advice. But damn if I know what it would be ...

Ok, how about "Always remember to leave the toilet seat down"?

Best wishes to you all.

Weird Dave said...

Hey, Dave,

Shouldn't you still be on your honeymoon?

Carl said...

Hey, Dave?

Just remember: a man is not complete until he is married.

And then he is finished.

But congrats anyway, man.

Anonymous said...

Conratulations, Heydave and Mrs Heydave.
In front of a fireplace with Dog sounds like a setup for great wedding pix.
May your life together be long and joyful and filled with dogs.

Li'l Innocent said...

Aw, they're pugs! That makes it all the... well, it makes it all the funnier, and after a year plus living with these 2, Heydave, I'm sure you know exactly what I mean. Great story about Wally. Vet/medical science does do great things betimes.

Stacia said...

Congrats Heydave!

And shush, Weird Dave - he typed all that while in the middle of his honeymoon calisthenics! You can tell because there are no typos.

Anonymous said...



And you have GOT to bring teh Mrs. around and introduce her to your OTHER family, y'know, so that she can be FULLY prepared for a lifetime with your very... um... special, yeah, that's the word, SPECIAL... life & all of us nutjobs who come with it!

(BTW, speaking of nutjobs... dear, delicate, demented flower of our hour Stacia --- there IS *ONE* typo, or at least, the disappearance of a whole word from one of the sentences in HeyDave's post above! So nyeh-nyeh-nah-boo-boo! I still love you you!)

I can already tell, HeyDave, that even without having been properly introduced to Mrs. HeyDave/the former Ms. Iowa (didja know that there's a wide-spot-in-the-road TOWN named "Iowa" here in LA?!?? OF *COURSE,* they just HAVE to pronounce it, "Eye-Oh-WAY"! We iz speshul in a whole other way here...) --- ANYFUCKIN'WAY, any woman who comes with a brace of "weirdly yet happily demented" puppies with her has GOT to be GOOD FOLK! And pugs, to boot! I bet that she'll spoil you as rotten as she's surely adored THEM past the point of return. I like her already! And with CATS, too?? SHE'S A KEEPER!!! You'd better be DAMNED GOOD to this woman, because you have NO IDEA how special & rare that it is, when you can fall in love with YOUR BEST FRIEND and have them LOVE YOU RIGHT THE FUCK *BACK*!!! You are both very lucky people, to have found & befriended & loved your true-to-heart, honest-to-goodness BEST FRIENDS! Frankly, I'm jealous as hell. See also: Yer HeyDave in-boxes, in terms of "Where are y'all registered, John Deere or Tractor Supply??"

Normally, y'all know that I'm no proponent of bringing the gubmint into your personal lives & having documentation of who you love, which they will later use against you (if not by Cheney, then at LEAST the IRS & fucking TELEMARKETERS & CREDIT CARD COMPANIES!!!) --- but if you are half as happy & thrilled as you sound in here, HeyDave, then "slap the dawg & spit in tha FAR!" to quote the VERY-EARLY-ERA JUDDS!!! That means, "HOT DAMN, YOU DONE WON A GOOD 'UN!" to non-country folk. Hell, you can translate, Dave, you're in IOWA!

Seriously, I wish y'all all the best, please DO check for my e-mail prior to this comment, and holler back at me, for true. Hug & kiss & skritch & scratch & rub teh bellehs on alla dem puppehs & kittehs for me, and whatever you skritch & scratch on the Missus is up to you (and no, we don't expect any color commentary --- SHADDUP, CARL, YOU DO *NOT* NEED TO KNOW WHAT THEY'RE DOING OUT IN THE BARN, YOU PERVERT!), and I hope that she ALWAYS & FOREVER returns the favors. Wishing you all of the happiness, kindness, friendship, love, joy, dirty jokes, goofy gut-laughs, acerbic-as-all-fuck political commentary, and general good ol' shits & giggles that you have given to all of us over the years, HeyDave... and double-up on that wish for Missus HeyDave, 'til we find-out HER Hey-Name!!!

Love & knishes,
Yer Ranty Aunty Annti

(And yes, you can feel free to name your first-adopted biped child after me, or however many more four-legged chirrens that come to revel in your household of love! Dunno how 'Anntichrist' will go over @ 1st-grade Roll Call, but it's worth a shot, anyway! And yes, my "given" names are up for grabs, too, since *I'm* sure as hell not gonna breed or ever be allowed to adopt a human!)