I thought I'd wait until this headache went away before starting the party, but clearly it intends to stick around, at least until all the booze is gone, so you might as well don your conical chapeaux and blow your foo-flounders, while I go grab the cake, which was lovingly baked and decorated by some of the city's finest bigots. (Or so I assume; it was only recently I learned that bending over a table all day, squeezing a gooey substance from the tip of your piping bag as you whimsically inscribe and filigree pastries and baked goods in various shades of sugary pastels was a job for rugged he-men who are offended by the slightest whiff of gay stuff.)
Anyway, it's the natal anniversary of our good friend, and valued member of the World O' Crap writing staff, Keith. So please be sure to sign the card, then join us in the Conference Room promptly at 2:45 for cake and a delightful punch Fran in Accounts Receivables made from Ocean Spray Cranberry Juice Cocktail and Diet Squirt (she says the secret ingredient is a pinch of cardamon and a lot of love! Shhhh!)
In the meantime, please join me in wishing Keith the very happiest of birthdays. And of course...Sexy Birthday Lizard(s)!