Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Happy Birthday Jay! The Return of TBogg! And Special Guest Idiot!

Today is the birthday of Jay B., a trenchant, worldly man about blog who has been enlivening the comments section here and elsewhere around the Internet for many years now.  You may also remember Jay's stint as a blog-sitter for TBogg, in which he did some very fine pinch-hitting, but which becomes an EERIE COINCIDENCE, when we realize that this is not only the anniversary of the day Jay was born, but also the very day TBogg was re-born.  Yes, Wo'C's blogfather is back, and Raw Story has got him, which must mean that Jay and TBogg have some weird mystical connection like Harry Potter and Voldemort, and so long as one of them lives the other can't die, or stay dead, or something like that.  In any case, I guess they'll have to split the birthday cake, and we'll have to endure a ten minute argument over who gets the rose.

So in honor of this Spring-like renewal, I thought I'd scout around for a fresh new wingnut who reminded me a bit less of a sun-baked Coney Island Whitefish.  Enter, Matthew May.

Although Matthew has been writing steadily for American Thinker since 2004, I've somehow never noticed his existence.  Now, this undoubtedly puts me in the majority, but it also means that I've missed the contrarian wisdom of one of the hardest working concern trolls around.

Matt's specialty is mansplaining (or, more precisely, The Mansplaining) to Black America about the Founding Fathers, in articles like Kenneth Gladney: 21st century Crispus Attucks).  In fact, he's such a diehard Minuteman that it wouldn't surprise me to learn that he's had his skull surgically tricornered. This week, Matt takes up arms against Obamacare, but unlike the right bloggers who are invoking Braveheart, Matthew draws inspiration from those two freckled patriots in that Life cereal commercial who refuse to try the product, even though -- or especially because -- they've heard it's "supposed to be good for you."
I Will Not Comply 
Like most members of the Congress that passed it and, undoubtedly, the president of the United States who signed it, I have not read the entirety of the ill-named Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act. 
Great, now we can't discuss the bill without spoiler tags.
 Yet there is one aspect concerning that legislation of which I am certain: I will not comply.
Yes, but you didn't read the legislation, so maybe there's a codicil to a rider to an amendment that specifically declares you ineligible to participate in the program, so by refusing to comply you're actually playing right into their hands!
I will not comply because I am a free citizen of the United States, not a subject of its government.  I consider non-compliance with this monstrosity and the tens of thousands of pages of regulations that are to be enforced by an unelected bureaucracy, and that have left a gigantic carbon footprint on our environment and the United States Constitution, a duty.
Yes, turning health insurance into a Rust Belt heavy industry was probably a mistake, and I suspect that even liberals object to Congress mandating that under the Affordable Care Act, mammograms must be administered by steam-powered looms.
Non-compliance is my executive order, and that order reads in part that I do not recognize any government's claim on my action or inaction in the marketplace, nor upon any personal information I am unwilling to divulge.
Matt has declared himself President of the United Basement, a sovereign nation where Federal, State, and Municipal laws do not apply, and where he gets to decide who can use the air hockey table.
I will not submit to a cabal who read George Orwell's 1984 not as a terrifying warning, but as an instruction manual.
Hey, at least they read, Matt.
Refusing to comply with the dictates of an illegitimate law that is selectively enforced, and from which the privileged few are exempted, is not, in the annals of American history, brave or difficult.
Nah, just ask cowardly freeloaders like Schwerner, Chaney, and Goodman (pro-tip: you might want to take a shovel to the interview).
We are, however, drawing a line that the forces of repression, socialism, and tyranny must not cross.  Some might even color the line red. 
Some might color it blue or magenta. The important thing is to color inside the line.
 Yet unlike a certain other, this red line is immovable.  I yield nothing on the plane of freedom.  I will not take any small step that is, in actuality, one giant leap backward to the darkness we thought we had vanquished. 
Who is with me?
I dunno, Matt. I know you'd like me to join you, but wouldn't I really best honor the spirit of your movement by not complying with your request? I believe the annals back me up here.

Anyway, a hearty Welcome Back TBogg from the Sweatblogs, while to Jay we proudly present...
...The traditional Sexy Birthday Lizard.


Carl said...

Wanna bet he has health insurance already?

Otherwise, I'm sure the IRS will be happy to enforce his compliance, just like they had to drag nutcases kicking and screaming into the Social Security system.

Carl said...

I will not submit to a cabal who read George Orwell's 1984 not as a terrifying warning, but as an instruction manual.

On a side note, I'm thinking the correct instruction manual in play (by the right, natch) is Brave New World, with its trivial entertainment distractions while....oh, hey! a SQUIRREL!

R. Porrofatto said...

Wanna bet he has health insurance already?

Even better. He says he lives in Massachusetts, so he has Romneycare. I bet he has car insurance, too.

Happy birthday, Jay B. When do you get yer own blog?

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Refusing to comply with the dictates of an illegitimate law that is selectively enforced, and from which the privileged few are exempted, is not, in the annals of American history, brave or difficult.

But enough about the USA PATRIOT Act...

Jay B. said...

Thanks Scott and R. for the well-wishes. I don't have the discipline for a blog, as I barely can arse a full-time job without whining about work. Then again, the old blogtimers (pulls up suspenders and spits out organic chaw), well, we're getting thin on the ground. And I can't write for shit in 140 characters.

Maybe I should. And if I do, I know who to blame.

Dr.BDH said...

Jeez, Scott, I take a one week Internet vacation and all hell breaks loose at Wo'C world headquarters. Sending "best wishes" via PayPal.

Happy Natalday, Jay.

Good news, TBogg back. Bad news, new site agonizingly slow, at least from work (what, I should waste my off-time reading blogs?).

Kathy said...

"Give me Liberty or give me Bad Health!"

grouchomarxist said...

Where do they dig up these drama queens? If only Matt would decide the time was ripe to throw off the fetters of the unelected EPA and the creeping socialofascism of the Clean Air Act, by taking an unyielding stand against breathing ...

Happy birthday, Jay B.!

Li'l Innocent said...

Shouldn't it be "Give me Bad Health or give me death"?

Happy birthday, Jay. I don't know what you've done to deserve - in Scott's mind anyway - that particular lizard. Granted its colors are lovely, it looks like quite a few Congressional Dems (and mass quantities of the public) must feel right about now. Try to rise above it.

Doc Logan said...

Happy birthday Jay B.!

This looks to be the weightiest SBL yet. It will be a true honor for the fortunate Crapper who is presented with a Komodo dragon as their SBL.

"Heeeeere he is, your Komodo draaaa-a-gon!"

Scott said...

Hey it's an honor just to get a birthday reference to Bert Parks' big number from The Freshman.

Anonymous said...

1. Happy Birthday, Jay B.Have a lovely day and year.
2. That SBL does absolutely nothing for me,hormone-wise.

Scott said...

You know what? That IS an ugly SBL. It's not the slightest bit S and I honestly don't know what I was thinking; perhaps I was simply dazzled by a flashy color scheme. I promise a more stringent vetting process in the future.

We just started Riley on a course of medication, and are hoping it doesn't turn her into a Linda Blair-like puke cannon, which is apparently one of the possible side effects. I should have a more complete update later in the day after I've spoken to the vet.

Tog said...

Ye Gods, lookit the Internet Tough Guy Patriot, trying to work up a crowd to "make a stand" around him...at which point he will scuttle away and hide so the idiots can do all the fighting that he can only talk bravely about. I'm home from the frontline of the Culture Wars, Mama! Did you remember to buy Cheetos?