Thursday, July 21, 2016

Give Impeachment a Chance

Eternal optimist Larry Klayman is back in court, and this time he's suing President Obama for starting a race war without him. Now, filing a lawsuit demanding Obama's impeachment -- especially with a  mere six months remaining in the president's term -- may seem quixotic, but Klayman is determined to see justice done. He is the Javert to the president's Jean Valjean, the Lt. Gerard to his Dr. Richard Kimball, the Elmer Fudd to Obama's Bugs Bunny.
We can't wait 6 months to oust Obama from office 
The United States, Europe and the rest of the world is in violent upheaval. 
This sounds like either a panicky overreaction to current events, or the opening crawl to Red Dawn. Either way, I'm gonna heat up the Orville Redenbacher.
At home, fraudulently elected illegitimate President Barack Hussein Obama, along with his black-Muslim friends like so-called Rev. Louis Farrakhan, leader of the Nation of Islam, and Black Lives Matter allies, have finally succeeded in igniting a race war.
Is it the "Day of the Rope" already? Crap, I haven't even started my shopping -- I really need to get one of those advent calendars.

Weird, though, that I haven't really noticed a race war. Maybe it's just that I live in a liberal enclave, but whenever I walk outside I see people of all races, creeds, and colors squatting on Hollywood Boulevard to take a snapshot of Loretta Swit's star. Or maybe the constant succession of mass shootings has simply raised my threshold for mayhem, the way freshman year of college raises your tolerance for Pabst Blue Ribbon.
To add insult to very serious injury, President Obama refuses to use his powers as the commander in chief to destroy ISIS and other Muslim terrorists in a decisive way. The reason is obvious, and it's time for people to just start saying it: The "Muslim King" does not want to go hard against his Islamic brothers and frankly, in my view, sympathizes with their quest to have Allah reign supreme to further a worldwide caliphate. 
I'm no lawyer like Larry, but if I were King Salman of Saudi Arabia, I'd sue Obama for infringing on my "Muslim King" brand. Salman probably wouldn't even need to take him to court -- just look at Disney, or Viacom -- all he'd have to do is accuse him of a copyright violation and I bet YouTube would immediately take down all the President's videos.

Meanwhile, given how ISIS is losing territory, manpower, and market share, they can be excused for thinking "with friends like Obama, who needs enemies?" In fact, I sometimes wonder if Obama is actually less like a Muslim King and more like the Lindsay Lohan character in Mean Girls -- only pretending to further a worldwide caliphate, while secretly slipping it fattening snacks and gossiping to his gay friends about its Burn Book.
To add insult to injury, Obama has, through unconstitutional executive orders, opened the floodgates to millions of illegal immigrants who in many states like California can even obtain driver's licenses, allowing them to register to vote.
Yes, but if you look at the number of Americans who turn out to vote, especially in off-year elections, it's clear that ballot-casting is just one of those jobs that Americans don't want to do, so cheap foreign labor is the only solution. I'm not saying it's a perfect system -- there's certainly room for reform -- but if we want someone to vote for Comptroller, State Insurance Commissioner, and Highway Bond B, that means loading up your Ford Ranger with day laborers from the Home Depot parking lot and taking them out to the County Rec Center Multipurpose Room.
Thus, the Muslim King has subverted the electoral process in favor of his creed as the overwhelming majority of illegals will vote Democrat, that is, for the Wicked Witch of the Left, Hillary Clinton, in November's presidential election.
I'm pretty sure this sentence is what you'd get if L. Frank Baum got hit in the head by a flying spittoon during a tornado and woke up thinking he was Omar Khayyam. Which is fine with me; I wouldn't mind reading The Wonderful Vizier of Oz.
And, they will also vote for leftist Democrats and others for Congress. This will further the will of the Muslim King after his term ends – assuming he does not declare a state of emergency over the crises he has created and attempt to remain in power.
Sadly, this is how the two-party system works. No matter how superior your product is, there are always going to be people who vote for Brand X, even though yours has been conclusively proven to produce whiter whites.
The last seven and one half years have also seen a never-ending spate of scandals in and around the Obama administration, ranging from Fast and Furious-gate, to IRS-gate, to Benghazi-gate, and now the cover-up of the crimes committed by presidential candidate Hillary Clinton over her private email server.
Wow. Seven years, one public crime spree after another, and you still can't catch her. I guess Hillary is to you as Osama bin Laden was to George W. Bush. Or maybe this is just the downside of pitching your wares at a largely geriatric audience; before you can explain to Grandma and Uncle Bob why Clinton's email server constitutes a crime, you first have to explain what email is. And by the time you're done with that, they're ready for a nap, or Jeopardy! is on.
 In this regard, it has been disclosed that Obama himself received highly classified emails from the Wicked Witch of the Left on her unprotected private email server, which was then easily hacked by the nation's enemies, Russia and China in particular. Obama is thus complicit in this breach of American national security
Wait, so just receiving an email now makes you responsible for its contents? Crap! I just looked at my spam folder, and I guess I owe you guys an apology for my promotional claims about penis enlargement pills -- turns out they don't turn a trouser snake into a pants python.
notwithstanding the other traitorous acts he has committed – including but not limited to the sham nuclear treaty with the Islamic Republic of Iran, which existentially endangers with another Holocaust not just Israel but the United States and the rest of the non-Muslim Western world.
Larry's rehearsing a lot of well-worn tropes here, but I did learn one new thing: Muslims are immune to radioactive fallout! Which is both interesting and helpful to know, since if Trump is elected, I now plan to convert.
Clearly, if there ever were a case for impeachment and conviction of a president, the Muslim King has exceeded "all expectations." 
Ah. Apparently we walked in on Larry giving Obama his quarterly employee review. Sounds like it's going pretty well, too.
By Obama's criminally minded standards, President Richard Nixon's Watergate caper was, in the commander in chief's own ironic words, simply a junior varsity effort at corruption.
These may in fact be Obama's most ironic words, since ironically he never said them.
The Hussein Obama is simply the most compromised, corrupt and evil president in American history. 
So give the guy a little credit! He's holding his own against some very impressive competition. Also, from now on I'd like to be known as The Hussein Clevenger.
The Founding Fathers and framers of our Constitution were inspired by God, but they were not God. 
Well, there goes my plan to gain immortality by sacrificing one of the cats to Button Gwinnett. Guess I'll go see what's on TV...
The likes of the Adams, Jefferson and Franklin were not infallible, however great they were. Unfortunately, they did not devise a viable constitutional method to remove from office a corrupt, criminal, traitorous and destructive president like the Muslim King.
I.e., they did not make it easy for litigious gadflies like Larry Klayman to sneak up on the government  whenever the whim struck and tip it over like a sleeping cow.
Indeed, the Muslim King, in my view, is far worse and more dangerous that another king, King George III, who provoked the Declaration of Independence and the first American Revolution in and around 1776.
In Obama's favor, he hasn't provoked a musical as bad as 1776. (Sorry, Broadway nerds. It's got a clever book by Peter Stone, but that Sherman Edwards score is a symphony for chalkboard and migraine.)
[With] the subversion of our ability to have fair presidential and congressional elections given that millions of illegal aliens are capable of fraudulently voting, what would our Founding Fathers do today differently than in 1776?
I'm guessing they'd actually do the same thing they did back then: limit the franchise to property-owning white men, write some grandiloquent paean to freedom and self-determination, then go have non-consensual sex with a slave.
So, I pose this question: 
"Why doesn't anybody love me? Is it that I look too much like Ed Begley, Jr. Is it that I don't look enough like Ed Begley, Jr.? Tell me, I can change!, actually I can't. I just realized I've been writing this same column since January 20, 2009."
How can the Muslim King be legally removed from office before he does even more irreparable damage in the next six months of his presidency?
Forceps? Stump-puller? I suppose we could ask Congress to intervene, like it suggests in the Constitution, but six months doesn't give them a lot of time to act, since they'll be on vacation for five of them.
I do not think that We the People can just sit back and hope for the best, particularly in light of the heinous terrorist attacks of the last weeks, the latest in Nice, France, and the race war Obama and his friends have caused to explode in Dallas and around the nation. Our lives and the lives of our loved ones are in mortal danger!
Or maybe we're not in mortal danger, you're just in a tizzy. But if you're right, Larry, and I'm reading your analysis correctly, then we're in the middle of a race war, white genocide is imminent, and the only way to save ourselves and our families is by filing a nuisance lawsuit. I'll be honest, The Turner Diaries was a lot zippier.

Anyway, good luck with that. I'd love to help, but my local Race War Draft Board has declared me 4-F, because as a child I was exposed to jazz (it was only smooth jazz, but according to CDC guidelines I'm still not allowed to donate blood).


Carl said...

Fraudulently elected? I mean, sure, I can see where one might make the claim an election is fixed when the obvious idiot in the contest wins by, say, 537 votes in a state where his brother is governor, but to engineer a fraudulent landslide on the scale that Obama enjoyed is really kind of stretching for the candy, Larry.

If that is your real name.

Mentis Fugit said...

This is why I don't blog. I'd start with, "Larry, you're a drooling imbecile," and stop right there. That doesn't get eyeballs.

Jono said...

A rubber room, a strait jacket, and a team of shrinks wouldn't be enough to bring Larry back to earth or whichever planet he is from.

Hank said...

This is what happens when someone spends too much time writing Red Dawn fanfic. Can't we all chip in and buy Larry a paper bag to breathe into?