Well, this Christmas season, it seems "Elf on a Shelf" is all the rage! There are entire Pinterest Boards devoted to ways of cleverly hiding the elf wherever it may strike the most fear in a child's heart.
Allow me to turn into Old Man McCain for a moment and say "Pah! I spit on your Elf on a Shelf and introduce you to what WE had to deal with back in the day: Gnome in Your Home! (And get off my lawn while you're at it!)":
|"Can't decide if I should steal her and replace her with a piece of |
wood or just eat her!"
Rumplestiltskin graduated to pedophilia
OK, ready? Wake her up!
"With the earwax of this child, I'll have all the ingredients I need for my magic potion!"
"Show me on the gnome doll where the gnome doll touched you..."
My niece told me she and her sister call 'Jack In The Box' "Jerk in a Sock". For some reason that made me laugh so hard I almost crashed the car (good thing we were at JITB drive-thru).
Same cadence as "Elf On A Shelf", but funnier. Just thought I'd mention it. Kids!
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