[We're having an fundraiser to keep the ugly, cottage cheese-looking acoustical ceiling over our heads. The details are in this post. Thanks to everyone who's contributed!]
So I hear that Bill O'Reilly has won the War on Christmas, and I trust he will be decorated with our nation's highest honor, the Silver Star of Bethlehem, with Tinsel Clusters, which will either be pinned on his chest by the President, or placed atop his head by a Bumble.
Unfortunately, our boys won't be home by Christmas, because this is a two front war, and Bill must now turn his attention to...
THE WAR ON HANUKKAH
And he'd better snap it up, because we're on the fourth night already. Luckily, the Holiday-Industrial Complex is turning out the weapons we need, such as this Camouflage Dreidel. Or a Draydel (changing the spelling is one way to confuse your enemies).
Whether it's in the jungle or in the snow, our enemies will never see the Draydel with their name on it. Or maybe they will, but they'd still have to be able to spell their name in Hebrew to figure it out. (And maybe it's because I was raised Catholic, but whenever I play Camo Draydel I always seem to get "Hey Nun", which is something I said to Sister Camilla once, just before she broke a yardstick over my shins (but not, fortunately, my gimels).
Anyway, I'm not quite sure how we exploit this advantage in stealth, let alone weaponize it. I guess we'll have to send a bunch of 4-year olds to war and just hope they wind up fighting a bunch of 3-year olds who can't cope with a choking hazard.