Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Put the Blame on McCain

WorldNetDaily's Mychal Massie is displeased with John McCain and John Boehner and other Johns to be named later for failing to support Michele Bachmann's National Association for the Advancement of Guilt by Association.  As you probably recall, Mychal is a soldier on the front lines of the war against Islamofascism, and when he's not depositing his thoughts at WND, he's "killing all the enemy radical Muslims I can."  In his mind.  Usually while sitting on the toilet, or standing under a steamy shower, slowly and luxuriously soaping himself while other members of the household pound on the bathroom door and shout complaints about him using up all the hot water.  But he ignores them, for his body is a machine -- hard, relentless, and precise -- and it must kept properly lubricated to ensure peak efficiency, because This Machine Kills Muslims.

In his mind.

Or at least, in the bathroom.

Anyway, let's crank up the Rita Hayworth...
Shame on McCain and Boehner!

We don’t expect leftist-liberals to be pro-national security, and they seldom if ever prove us wrong – but we do expect it from those claiming to be conservative Republicans, and conversely, they seldom if ever prove us right. 
The solution is obvious: we must start expecting left-liberals to be pro-national security so they will non-seldomly prove us unwrong, thus saving the Republic!  Q.E.D.
So-called conservative Republicans are excoriating Michele Bachmann, with John McCain and John Boehner leading the assault. She is under attack for daring to put the security of our country over political correctness. 
However, Bachmann isn't the only target of liberal opprobrium; some people are denouncing Frank Gaffney as well.  "Founder and President of the Center for Security Blankets Policy, and "the publisher and associate author of Shariah: The Threat to America (Center for Security Policy Press, 2010)," Gaffney also teaches  a video correspondence course in How to Weave a Massive Web of Muslim-Related Conspiracy, which I found interesting, but not terribly practical, since the course materials presuppose that the student, like Frank, comes equipped with spinnerets.   But most of the criticism seems to focus on Frank's use of Michele as a mouthpiece for his unsupported accusations against State Department employees, a form of ventriloquism known as "Charlie McCarthyism."
Bachmann, along with Reps. Trent Franks, Louie Gohmert, Thomas Rooney and Lynn Westmoreland sent letters to the State Department, the Office of the Director of National Intelligence, the Department of Defense, the Department of Justice and the Department of Homeland Security that raised concerns pursuant to our national security.
Well, it was less of a letter and more of a slam book, but still, they did go to all the trouble of actually mailing it, which in these days of electronic correspondence shows a lot of dedication, until you remember they have franking privileges and a Post Office in the basement.
McCain, Boehner and their left-leaning minions are upset because Bachmann and the other signees wrote in part: “The [State] Department’s deputy chief of staff, Huma Abedin, has three family members – her late father, her mother and her brother – connected to Muslim Brotherhood operatives and/or organizations. Her position affords her routine access to the secretary and to policy making.”
Abedin is a key component of Hillary Clinton’s staff and the wife of the disgraced former congressman and online sexual deviant Anthony Weiner. 
I presume that when the Muslim Brotherhood needs to issue Ms. Abedin her marching orders, she travels to a secret base in the Arctic where they communicate with her through the floating, disembodied head of her late father.
"Live as one of them, Huma, to discover where your strength and your power are needed. Always hold in your heart the pride of your special heritage. They can be a great people, Huma, they wish to be. They only lack the light to show the way. Or you could just bomb the crap out of them.  Whatever.  By the way, I've seen your husband's schmeckle on the Internet."
In response to McCain, Boehner and the vicious, bigoted, black Muslim Rep. Keith Ellison, Bachmann said: “Not once in the letter to the inspector general of the Department of State, as you summarize, was it stated that by extension (Ms. Abedin) may be working on the organization’s behalf. That her family members are connected to the Muslim Brotherhood has been reported and referenced widely in the Arab-language media, including Al-Hayat, The Arab Times and Al-Jazeera.”
 Ah-hah!  McCain, the orange guy, and the black bigot all claim that Bachmann's accusations were wholly unsubstantiated, but the truth is, they couldn't substantiate them either!  Bachmann, on the other hand, knows for a fact that Muslims are untrustworthy, because she believes everything she reads in their newspapers.
I can understand Ellison not condemning the political correctness that provided for Nidal Hasan’s terrorist act at Fort Hood
I thought he used a gun.
 – they’re brothers in the Muslim revolution to conquer the world.
You wouldn't think it, judging by the name, but that's actually one of the more boring fraternities on campus; mostly because they don't serve liquor, even during Pledge Week.
If McCain and Boehner have such concern about not painting everyone with the same brush, why do they sit silently as Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson and extreme racist bigots like Jehmu Greene publicly attack whites with racial pejoratives?
I had to look up Jehmu Greene.  According to Wikipedia she "served as the first African-American president of the Rock the Vote organization", "was appointed by Secretary of State Hillary Clinton to serve on the U.S. National Commission for UNESCO" and now works as a talking head for Fox News.  As for the "attack[ing] whites with racial pejoratives"...
On the May 4, 2012 edition of America Live, [she] referred to fellow debater Tucker Carlson as a "bow-tying white boy", in a discussion about Massachusetts Senate candidate Elizabeth Warren's decision to list herself as...Cherokee. Carlson told Greene to stop name-calling, but Greene denied calling Carlson a name. Host Megyn Kelly later apologized to Carlson and her audience for the remark on behalf of the program, calling it "an inappropriate name" that was "not consistent with our standards". The "inappropriate name" was defined as a racial, or ethnic slur, since it refers to Tucker Carlson's race as being white.
As anyone with an ounce of sensitivity knows, people of Carlson's racial heritage prefer to be known as "crackers," or "Last Nations."
 If they care about justice and fairness, why have they not demanded Eric Holder and Obama’s Justice Department prosecute members of the New Black Panther Party for voter intimidation and for deaths threats made against George Zimmerman?
So the State Department has been infiltrated by the New Black Panther Party too?  Who's next?  The Brotherhood of Evil Mutants?  The New Zoo Revue?
July 20 I received a lengthy letter from a professional person who had called McCain’s office to protest his condemnation of Bachmann.
I've been an amateur person for years now, and while I love the species, I freely admit that I lack the discipline, skill, and determination necessary to turn pro.
 The person who wrote me requested I not use his name. He spoke to a McCain staff person named Will (who refused to give his last name) 
I can't tell if that's supposed to be incriminating or ironic.
Following is part of that letter shared with the author’s permission – the person wrote: “I called chastising McCain for his comments chastising Michele Bachmann and four other [members of Congress].
"Unfortunately, he chastised me back, but I was wearing a chasuble, which chastened him.  We continued to chat, until I was suddenly distracted by un-chaste thoughts about Jessica Chastain, and chose to don my chastity belt."
 I said we are in dire times and that we don’t need attacks like this within the party. The person on the phone commented that Bachmann’s attack on Huma transcended politics and that she did not have evidence to smear Huma’s name in front of the whole world. The man said there was no evidence supporting what Bachmann wrote about. I said Bachmann only asked questions.
Questions like, "Why is her husband's schmeckle so big?  And why is it available in bold relief on the internet when I haven't seen Marcus's bashful aardvark since Clay Aiken lost on American Idol!"

The letter goes on (and on), so I'll just let Mychal sum up:
There you have it. McCain’s office believes Hitler was a Christian … and we wonder why and how the Republican Party has become what it is.
I knew there had to be a logical explanation.


Carl said...

I can sort of see Mychal here running around his backyard with a bath towel tied around his neck, shouting "pew! pew pew!"...

Cole said...

"but we do expect [being pro-national security] from those claiming to be conservative Republicans, and conversely, they seldom if ever prove us right."

Really? If they don't expect weanie libruhls to be pro-national security and are seldom proved wrong; and they do expect conservatoids to be pro-security but they are seldom proved right, then WHAT IS A WOOKIE DOING ON ENDOR?

Someone fucks up a logical construction as simple as this and you KNOW you are in for a spectacular display of intellectual rhetoric.

I will continue reading...

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Bachmann, along with Reps. Trent Franks, Louie Gohmert, Thomas Rooney and Lynn Westmoreland

Holy Brain Trust, Batman!

Anonymous said...

I'm waiting for these zanies to tell me that fluoridated water is a filthy Muslim plot....

Anonymous said...

So, let me get this straight. Neither liberals nor conservatives are pro-national security? I have to ask, then, why Mr Massie expects them to be. Sounds like the ideology is failing the people rather than vice versa.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

"Charlie McCarthyism" and "Bashful aardvark"


Ugluks Flea said...

Who's next? The Brotherhood of Evil Mutants? The New Zoo Revue?

Well, they're pretty suspicious.

They ARE coming right at you, afterall.

heydave said...

So I had to go and read the comments on the lofty original article.

I feel like was not such an empowering, altruistic thing to do right now...