I was wrong. Horribly, horribly wrong. Follow me into the quaint, syrupy, nightmare world that is The Vermont Country Store.
Our first stop, women's wear! This is actually one of the safest of all places on that website, and it was educational, to boot:
And that's pretty much where the website stops being quaint and oddly appealing, and becomes downright terrifying:
And finally (for today), the most nightmarish thing of all:
It's Jingles!, the lone monkey who didn't gain the power of speech the night Jesus was born, and was so bitter about it that he made a deal with the Devil, and now whenever he breaks his eerie silence with a single crash of his cursed cymbals, someone, somewhere, dies a horrible death that scars the souls of all who witness it. In Stock. Requires two AA batteries and a small blood sacrifice.
Happy Dreams, all!