Looking for that perfect, non-denominational Holiday Gift for your Christmas Warrior? Look no further than "Milky! The Marvelous Milking Cow!"
Obscene? A little. Unnatural? You bet! Creep out the Bill O'Reilly fan on your list and put this thing under their heavily taxed Christmas Tree!
Then, while the kids are manufacturing fake milk out of weird chemical dust, you can make fake eggnog! Once you've poured in a pint of Captain Morgan, you won't care where the hell it came from! (Psst! It came from Union Carbide).