Thursday, November 24, 2011

Special Video Beast-Blogging: The Happy Thanksgiving Edition!

As promised, a Special Comment from the Cats.   Riley and Moondoggie in their first Mental Hygiene film.
And from Mary, Riley, Moondoggie, and me...Happy Thanksgiving everyone!


Anonymous said...

WOW ! I'd never seen the kitties in a full-length feature before. They are so natural. I loved the always subtle product placement of BLTBM too.
Congratulations, Scott & your whole cast - I laughed, I cried (not really)but I loved it.
Hope it goes viral. Happy Thanksgiving to all of youse.

Scott said...

Thanks, Suezboo! In anticipation of their worldwide fame, the cats have embarked on a press junket to the couch.

Pearl of the Prairie said...

I've been doing it wrong all this time - instead of catnip I should be offering a gently used pair of Fruit-of-the-Looms. I hope boxers will do in place of briefs - my husband makes enough cat concessions as it is.

Anntichrist S. Coulter said...

Well, it IS comforting to know that Biddy isn't the only cat with an underwear-and-socks fetish. She'll settle for a pair of unwashed sweatpants, but it's the cotton high-thighs that she really covets. Mary, I was going to try to come up with something pithy about starting an association for mothers of lesbian cats, until I saw Riley diving into SCOTT's not-so-tidy, not-so-whities... is she bisexual, or just really easy to please?

Oh, no, wait --- this is RILEY that we're talking about. Question withdrawn.

A true tour-de-force, Scott, that should, at the very least, receive a much-hyped, uncrecyclable-acrylic-statuette AWARD from PETA or some other similarly-useless organization. Yes, a filmmaking award from Best the SPCA would be infinitely more prestigious, but hey, a red carpet is a red carpet! Just imagine all of the centerpieces & uneaten dinners that you can spirit away! If they haven't lifted the dome, it's good to go home!

Moonie really isn't holding up his end of the filmmaking bargain here, though he DOES contribute wunnerful temporary plastic-surgery services for Riley. She'll never have a single crow's foot, I'm sure of it. But when it comes to getting in front of the camera, Moondoggie thinks that he's Kris Kristofferson or something, like he's just there for falsely-deepened-voiced set dressing. Tsk, tsk, tsk, Moonie. I expect more from you, dearie. No, no, don't strain yourself, but don't be surprise if fame becomes the Yoko Ono that splits-up you and Riley...

One question, though --- women use "TOYS" to "get CLEAN"??? Seems more than a little counter-intuitive...

Anntichrist S. Coulter said...

I don't think that I've ever committed so many typos in one post since the last time that they cut my spine open!!!

Jeeeeezusssss aych on a fucking cracker with a side of horseradish.

Anntichrist S. Coulter said...

And damn, I wish that I'd had a video camera when Bubbe Boy was alive, he was a star who needed to ascend --- total Three Stooges-style slapstick goober clown, with a very sardonic rise of the eyebrow. Biddy is more along the line of a DeNiro cutting glance --- with nary a murmur nor a growl, she makes your sac crawl up into your solar plexus, 'cause you just KNOW that she will fuck. you. up.

Riley reminds me of a young Marsha Mason, occasionally a pissed-off Marishka Hargitay. Moondoggie reminds me of a beanbag I used to have.

Chris Vosburg said...

ME-TV Heads up: The wonderfully retro TV Channel is serving up a load of animated Christmas Specials of the past today (as well as yesterday, sorry for the lateness of the warning!).

You've already missed "Second Star to the Right," a splendid little british animation in which a hamster, a rabbit, and a guinea pig team up to deliver a misplaced christmas gift to a little girl (Hugh Laurie IS Archie the Bunny!).

Currently up, the Rankin-Bass "Cricket on the Hearth," with Danny and Marlo Thomas doing voices (also with VO staples Hans Conried and Paul Frees) and at 10AM, the classic "Mister Magoo Christmas Carol."

Special bonus:

Ch-ch-ch-chia! So help me, just saw an ad for the "Chia Obama" which is exactly what you think it is, and about as jaw-droppingly silly-looking as it could possibly be. I believe it also contains a couple of pre-recorded Obama applause lines. Good grief.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Who among us has not pulled a pair of used underwear over our heads?

Anntichrist S. Coulter said...

Ah-ha-ha-HEM, Thunder. Nope. Never. No negatives exist, nor do any witnesses.

Though, at the age of 6, I *did* pull a Dolly Parton gag with a coupla tennis balls that sent The Other Grandmother into fits of apoplexy...

And Vosburg, not all of us have cable, y'know. Dangling Hugh Laurie performances before our *STARVED*-for-actual-ENTERTAINMENT (yeah, we get the Three Stooges on weekends, but ya gotta survive Benny Hill to get to THEM!!!), culture-starved eyes is just MEAN. I could give a dying blue-arsed bottle fly's arse about xmas mythology, no matter how animated, but it's ENOUGH to know that I'll never see the damned "Arthur Xmas" (or whatever the hell it's called) toon, I didn't need you to tell me about what ELSE I'll be missing.

I'd have given both of my shrunken-like-heads-in-Borneo tits and all of my white hair to have seen "The Rum Diary" in an actual theater, but it ain't gonna happen in this lifetime. Yup, more than disgustingly ironic that, "film school" (HA!) graduate that I am, I'm still 3/4ths behind on the films that I *need* to see, which isn't even to mention the ones that I WANT to see.

Granted, I have no way to get my hands on any flawless windowpane acid like I had for the opening of "Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas", which is kind of a shame, but I didn't need the damned bats following me home from the redneck theater out in Suburbia Hell, either. Ironic, really, that the only place in "town" that HAD H.S.T.'s best film adaptation was OUT IN REDNECK COUNTRY, *not* in the art-house, classics-by-theme, or frou-frou Canal Place cinemas. Must've had some Serbian eugenics crap playing that weekend, or something so spiritually tragic about a poor little rich girl. Yeah, I've seen some life-changers in those theaters, but if they can't handle HUNTER, then they are NOT fucking PAYING ATTENTION.

I do not covet ANYTHING of McGoo, you can have all of the Jim Bachus you want, honey, never liked McGoo.

And, sadly, YES, I actually HAVE seen the Chia Obama, for the past four-plus years, since he became a front-runner in the primaries. They HAD a Chia Dumbya, but then it mysteriously DISAPPEARED within THREE MONTH. They must've displeased their target demographic in Katy, TX. After all, it ain't like Dumbya could work-up a respectable 'FRO, right. Riiiiiight.

Gave Teh Dick a Chia Bunny one year for xmas (as a cruel reminder of the rabbit that HE never took care of for a MINUTE), and he threw a hissy because once the initial crop came in, the fuckers DIE. Well, um, yeah, they're some bizarre hybrid BEAN SPROUT. Jeeezus, the bitching from that one. And NOW they're selling pre-grown EDIBLE CHIA as a "nutritional supplement snack"/salad topping, dried Chia as a kind of "green" granola, and Chia Sprout-growing kits for the do-it-yerself "health"-food folks.

Personally, I wanna see a HELLUVA lot of empirical evidence as to the nutritional/dietary BENEFITS of said Chia snacks before I fall for THAT one. I took alfalfa for 6 months, being told that it helped arthritis, but they liiiiieedddddddd. Can't afford chondroitin or glucosamine, and would NEVER fall for or contribute to the species genocide of "shark cartilage."

So, before your Chia Tasmanian Devil's green 'fro dies, peel some off and throw it on top of yer salad, and then report back to us as to the nutritional/medicinal benefits, kay?

Imagine a Darth Cheney Chia... no "hair," but OODLES of WATERING...

Anntichrist S. Coulter said...

P.S.: An extra "prezzie" for y'all, that I founded thanks to Scott, Mary, Bill, and YouTube...

(If somebody could edit this into a USEABLE hyperlink, I'd really appreciate it, because my HTML tags NEVER fucking come out like they SHOULD!)

Enjoy. And if you have Ativans or Valiums, take them 20 minutes before clicky teh linky.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Little Marcy - I'll Be A Sunbeam

Chris Vosburg said...

Annti writes: And Vosburg, not all of us have cable, y'know. Dangling Hugh Laurie performances before our *STARVED*-for-actual-ENTERTAINMENT (yeah, we get the Three Stooges on weekends, but ya gotta survive Benny Hill to get to THEM!!!), culture-starved eyes is just MEAN.

Gee, now I feel just awful. Being such a big-city sophisticate and all, I sometimes forget our hillbilly cousins in their tarpaper shacks and hollers, bless their hearts.

[laughing] You'll be glad to hear that Me-TV is not available on cable or dish in Los Angeles, and I must venture into the rabbit ear ghetto to pick it up over the air(it's on one of the local independent station's digital subchannels, specifically KDOC 56.3, straight outta Orange County).

Perhaps you can too: check out Me-TV's Finder Page, which enables you to find a network affiliate near you.

And if you're so inclined, you can enjoy "Second Star to the Left" on Youtube-- it really is fun.

Here's Part 1 and here's Part 2.

Anntichrist S. Coulter said...

Thanks, Thunder! Didja enjoy that little Sunbeam? Heh heh heh...

And poor, poor Vosburg, how on EARTH do you survive the trauma of reverting to rabbit ears?

Don't laugh about tarpaper shacks, son, people still live in 'em. Too bad that no one has consigned the drunk/high/fucktarded/illiterate braying-like-a-crackhead-jackass "neighbors" to a similar locale, far far away from HUMAN BEINGS.

If & when I ever get my spine fixed again, I am NOT coming home to THAT shit, I can promise y'all that. Start collecting bail money now... I'll check-out the Finder Page when i have the patience & 2 brain cells to rub together, seeing as how the yelling/barking/braying/howling beasties next door are why I now have high(er) blood pressure and reflux. Very hard to construct a productive thought when one is being relentlessly invaded & abused by morons that the Viet Cong would've envied for their torture techniques.

And OH GOODY! The rent-a-cops came to visit! Nothing will change THIS time, either. She's still out there braying like a jenny in heat. There really oughta be a legal limit on HOW much booze that any single person can buy for one day, y'know it? If you wanna stay high & drunk, GO INSIDE WITH IT!!!!!! Who gets fucked-up and sits on their front porch FOR TEN TO TWELVE HOURS, hooting and hollering at every stranger who walks, rides or drives by, whether they know 'em or not?!?!?!? Doesn't have to be a holiday, the RAIN STOPPING is enough of an excuse for her to go out there and screech like a wombat in a blender. And when her scuzzy old man is out there (not on the lease, pays no rent, management does NOTHING), oh mah FUCK it's a double-barreled sawed-off assault upon the psyche.

Sorry, didn't mean to share too much, but dammit, I can't even finish a COMMENT without that depraved harpie making me want to blow my fucking brains out, just to escape her STOOPIDITY!!!!!!

Chris Vosburg said...

And poor, poor Vosburg, how on EARTH do you survive the trauma of reverting to rabbit ears?

There's an irony in the fact that although I am a Time Warner Cable subscriber, at a zillion.98 per month, I did in fact have to visit the 99cent store and purchase a pair of rabbit ears, and they are "HD" rabbit ears, says so right on the package, to watch Perry Mason reruns on Me-TV.

In doing so, I've rediscovered the ancient pastime of swearing at the fucking rabbit ears, just like Steve Buscemi in Fargo. They are in fact 99cent rabbit ears, and it shows.

This transcends irony entirely-- it's almost as if in order to watch retro TV, it is required to use retro TV hardware, and revert to retro TV behavior.

Excuse me, I have to go to Thrifty Drug and test my tubes.